Dirty Secrets
by Sofia-Casualty
Summary: Dirty secrets can't be kept hidden forever.
1. Chapter 1

***Okay, here's a little snippet of an idea I have for a new fic. So many people have been asking me for more, shall we say _detailed_ scenes. I'll see how we go. Lol. Please review, let me know what you think and I'll see if it's worth continuing with. Thanks and enjoy!***

"This is the last time." His voice was heavy on the air in the small room. "It's gone too far now, I'm done." Tucking his shirt back in, he tore his eyes away from her as she re-buttoned her blouse.

"Fine." She spoke confidently, a slight smirk gracing her lips. Finishing her buttons, she replaced her stethoscope back around her neck.

"Don't you feel _any_ kind of remorse?" Contorting his face with a mixture of anger and confusion, he just stared at her, awaiting an answer.

"This doesn't _mean_ anything, Sam."

"That's not the point, Connie."

"Okay, what _is_ the point then? You're not seriously going to start pretending you have a conscience now, are you?"

"I'm getting _married._ " He hissed angrily, following through with a laugh that held absolutely no sign of humour. "Not that you'd know anything about dedicating yourself to someone you love, in fact I'm not sure you're even capable of loving anyone other than Grace." Throwing a little shade into his sentence, his lip curled angrily before he moved his attention to re-zipping his pants and fastening his belt.

"Please, come off it!" She shook her head, reaching for the door handle but his hand slammed the door shut before she could open it fully.

"I'm serious, this ends now."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Her face was only centimetres away from his, the breathy exchange of words making him feel some type of way again. It angered him to no end and she knew it. Smiling smugly at his pained expression, she removed his hand from the door before whispering in his ear and sending a shiver down his spine. "You've got lipstick on your neck, Mr Strachan."

Before he could even grasp what had just happened, she was gone. Leaving him stood stupidly in the tiny store room. It had fast become one of their favourite rendezvous spots. During work hours anyway, outside of work it was in a parked car somewhere concealed or if they were feeling really splashy, a hotel room. Never each other's houses, it was too risky with Emma and Jacob on the scene. Not to mention Grace, she was the only person Connie was concerned about hurting with this weird situation. She wasn't even sure how it started. Their exchange of glances during a patient wedding, followed by a heated argument and a slap across the face for Sam. Boom, that was it.

It was as equally confusing to Sam. Poor Sam. He was really in a pickle at the moment, Emma had moved over from the States to be with him. She'd sacrificed everything to be here, he'd even proposed and she said _yes_. The guilt was starting to chip away at him slowly, but he was addicted. He didn't know what it was or why he couldn't help himself but their little sex sessions were like a drug for him, giving him the biggest and most incredible highs. He was always left wanting more, he couldn't keep away and it infuriated him to think that Connie could just walk away from this little thing they had going on and she would be completely unbothered. But this was it, this time was the last time. It had to be.

But it wasn't.

In fact, only a measly three days passed before he found himself in the same situation once again. This time somewhere new.

"Shhh." He removed his lips from the side of her neck immediately, letting his instruction become heard upon drawing a throaty moan from her. He was feeling super sketchy due to their current surroundings. To be honest, he was slightly surprised the toilet cubicle frame wasn't quaking with their movements. The whole setup of these toilets was extremely flimsy, not that he was really studying the architecture of Grace's school toilets. He was far too deep in other matters at this moment in time. Quite literally. Her upper back was pressed up against the flat of the wall, her legs over his hips as his body supported hers. His left arm was wrapped around her lower back whilst his right hand remained pressed up against the cubicle door to stop it from rattling the lock as he thrusted quickly. The adrenaline rush of being caught was an added benefit of their little _get-togethers,_ it merely added to the high. Every noise she made, along with every breath he panted, was echoed through the large tiled room.

"Oh my god." He whispered exasperatedly down her neck, his movements speeding up before his lips found hers, kissing her deeply he got caught up in the moment. Losing all self-control, he let go of the door, mimicking her actions as he moved his hand quickly to her throat, gripping it tightly as he got closer and closer to his release. She tightened her hold on his throat to match his grip on hers whilst her left hand remained under his shirt, travelling up his right side as she raked her nails over the skin on his back. He could feel her breath quickening, her throat tightening as she neared her climax too. Moaning into his mouth, they continued to wrestle one another's tongues. His arousal hit an entire new level as she came, she instantly pulled away from the kiss as she rode out her orgasm with an ecstatic moan, her head tilted back in a state of pure ecstasy. Her satisfaction brought him to the edge, his head buried in the nook between her shoulder and neck as he groaned deeply into her skin, his teeth grazing at her hot flesh as he too reached his climax. Slowing his hip movement down gradually, he continued to hold her up, riding out the strong feeling of pleasure as they both panted heavily, regaining their composure.

This was the level of urgency it had now reached. They were attending Grace's school play this evening, not together but with their respected partners. Yet here they found themselves, screwing in the school toilets like a couple of naughty teenagers. They didn't even bother undressing, Sam merely pulled his zipper down, rolled her skirt up over her hips and pulled her underwear to the side before hoisting her up against the wall. He did, however, lose control for split second in a sexual frenzy and roughly pull her shirt open to expose her neck and shoulders. The insubstantial material of her blouse sliding down her back and now just hanging pathetically on her forearms, her skirt was pushed up so far it almost met her bra, which was nicely laid bare to his view. She'd frantically tugged his shirt from his pants too in order to feel his skin as it heated with arousal. They were breaking unspoken rules now, leaving tell-tale marks on one another's bodies. Secretly it was a thrill to both of them, knowing they'd marked each other as their territory and there was a possibility their partner could find it.

Setting her down, he began his usual routine of inserting himself back into his trousers, doing up his zipper after tucking his shirt back in. All the while, keeping his gaze on her as she shimmied her skirt back down over her hips and re-did her blouse buttons. She licked her upper lip, catching him staring she smiled seductively.

"Give it a minute before you come out, we can't have people talking." She unlocked the door and brushed past him with a close proximity, she approached the mirror and checked her appearance before leaving the toilets completely, her heels clicking down the corridor until he could no longer hear anything. That was his cue to leave too.

* * *

"There you are." Emma gushed as he approached her through the crowds of gathering parents, she holding her clutch purse under her arm as she chatted with some of the Mothers. "You didn't get any drinks?" Questioning confusedly, she looked at his empty hands, reminding him that he'd gone to get some drinks before bumping into Connie and having one thing lead extremely quickly to another.

"Sorry, the queue was a mile long." He lied, snaking his hand under her arm and across her lower back, holding her tightly to his side. "We can have drinks later, in private." He was about to kiss her but the guilt stopped him. He couldn't keep doing this. The high was incredible, unmatched even but the low he'd feel afterwards was quickly starting to outweigh the high.

Dirty secrets are hard to keep. Like dead bodies, they always float to the surface.

Eventually.


	2. Chapter 2

***Okay, so you guys are quite kinky! I'm all for that ;)** ** _However,_** **I still want there to be a story line, sometimes I think too much emphasis is placed on the intimate scenes that any chance of a good story surfacing kind of gets washed away. Hopefully, I can mantain a story line and give you kinky buggers the scenes you want too! Lol please review,** ** _this_** **kind of fic is still new to me and I'd appreciate to hear your thoughts!***

"You know what I think?" He questioned, knowing full well he wasn't going to let her respond before he gave her the answer. "You're _jealous-"_

"Jealous?!" The disbelief in her voice actually drew a laugh from her own mouth as it hung open slightly in shock.

"Of Emma and I. We're engaged, happy and settling down together." He moved closer to her, the atmosphere feeling tense as all hell.

"Well then, if you're so _happy_ why are you jeopardising that by messing around with _me_ behind her back, hm?" She whispered chillingly, her arms crossing expectantly. She'd stunned him, well and truly. He had no answer for that one. Instead he just stood before her looking dumb and speechless.

"This is over-"

"Again?" She smirked, cutting him off. "I've lost count of how many times you've ended this now."

"And you still wind up getting what you want."

" _Me_? Oh come on, Sam. You know how the old saying goes, it takes two to tango. You can't blame all of this on _me_ , you can't stay away. You're like a puppy with a toilet roll."

"Enough." His nostrils flared, they'd met up in _their_ store room but this time to hash things out. Not to get steamy. "Those scratches, on my back? Emma _saw_ them. What the hell did you do that for?"

"Oh, I'm sorry." She faked sincerity, her face giving away her obvious disinterest. "But if I remember rightly, I didn't exactly leave unscathed either." Her tone of voice altered quickly, finding her anger too. "Or had you forgotten about that hideous purple mark you left on my neck?"

"Okay, fine." He held his hands up, trying to subdue his anger. "Look, I can't keep doing this. It's not fair on Emma."

"Well then, stop it." Shrugged whilst speaking, a challenging look on her face.

"I've tried, Connie! I'm trying now! You just won't listen!"

"Oh, right!" She acted as though she'd just come to a sudden realisation. "I forgot, this is all _my_ doing, isn't it? Yes, I force you into these situations and poor, innocent, helpless Sam has no control over his actions. He can't _possibly_ be held accountable for them, can he?" Her sickly sweet smile and warm voice vanished instantly as her tone deepened with fury. "Cut the crap, Sam. And for God's sake, grow up. If you can't acknowledge your part in this, what kind of chance does your marriage stand being built on a foundation of lies." She turned quickly, swinging the door open violently before leaving. Once again, he was left stood feeling stupid.

She was right though, this wasn't all her fault. In fact, as he headed back into resus his mind went into overdrive in thought. Every single time they'd _fallen_ into that particular circumstance they kept finding themselves in, which was now twelve to be precise but hey, who's counting? He'd initiated contact every single time. It was never her. Always him.

"Mr Strachan?" Ethan glanced at him worriedly, he'd drifted off into some sort of trance, Dr Hardy's voice pulling him back to reality.

"Sorry, it's been a long day." And it was about to be an even longer night. "What've we got?"

* * *

"Posh place." Jacob stated, impressed with the venue choice. He was slightly surprised they'd even attended this engagement party but Grace had insisted they go, she wanted her Mum and Jacob there to celebrate her Dad and Emma's engagement. Much to Connie's annoyance. Sam had kept to his word, managing to steer clear of her for almost two weeks now. She'd be lying if she said she didn't miss it. Not that Jacob wasn't enough, she just missed the adrenaline rush of sneaking around behind everyones backs. There was no guilt on her part though, this relationship with Jacob was like a repeat of her failed marriage. Did he _honestly_ think he could get away with cheating and have her not find out? Nothing got past Connie Beauchamp. Nothing.

"Yes, it just screams _look at me, I've got money_." She had to refrain from rolling her eyes too hard and coming across to other guests as the salty ex. If only they all knew.

"What and your car doesn't?" He laughed, handing her a glass of champagne from the waiter passing by with a tray.

"That's different, it's a necessity." Her eyes scanned her surroundings, glancing up at the exquisite ceiling decor. "This is just-" Her words were ceased immediately as Sam and Emma appeared next to them. "-Incredible." She finished with a false smile.

"I'm so glad you could both make it." Emma beamed. "It's amazing, right?" She agreed with Connie's last sentence, smiling up at Sam who was trying his upmost to avoid even letting his eyes wander in Connie's general direction. "Sam found it and thought it was perfect, didn't you?"

"Yeah, found it through a friend of a friend actually. Did me a good deal too. Could hardly refuse it, could I?"

"Nice." Jacob smiled warmly, his hand looping under Connie's arm and coming to rest on her lower back. A spark was ignited in Sam, it unnerved him. Why did that bother him so much? Now _really_ wasn't the time to become territorial over another woman. He was with Emma. _Engaged_ to Emma. He hid his disapproval well, doing the same back to Emma, but like previously stated, nothing gets past Connie Beauchamp. She held back a smile, knowing he was bothered by Jacob's hand on her back.

They didn't really interact too much, Sam and Emma had a lot of guests to get around and greet. It was a large event, possibly the biggest and most over the top engagement party she'd ever been to. It was being held in a hotel, all guests invited to stay the night too. The bill completely footed by Emma's rich bitch parents. The event and party costs were covered by Sam though.

"Well, cheers to Sam and his free drinks." Jacob finished the last of his pint, it was almost midnight and he had an early start in the morning. "I'm gonna call it a night, sweetcheeks." He stood slowly, kissing her a little more deeply than he'd originally anticipated.

"I'll be up in a minute, I've got some work to do. My laptop's in the car." She pulled away. "I'll see you up there."

Retrieving her keys from her bag, she smiled as he nodded before making his way over to the lift. That was the story of her life at the moment, everywhere she went her laptop followed with a heap of emails and work to tend to. She waited patiently for him to enter the lift before heading outside, the cold air immediately took her breath away. She pressed the unlock button on her keys, huffing irately seeing the orange lights of her car flashing way across on the other side of the car park. That was the last time she was ever letting Jacob drive her car, he couldn't have parked further away if he'd tried. Dodging puddles in the dark with her Louboutins on was a task in itself, she angrily cursed Jacob with each cautious step. Finally reaching her car she smiled to herself and stopped in her tracks upon hearing footsteps behind her.

"I told you, you can't stay away." She turned to face him, he was only a few feet behind her. He'd been watching her for the last half hour, just waiting, hoping that Jacob would leave her unattended for even a split second. And he did. Now was his chance.

* * *

He was still riddled with guilt, he should have listened to Elle and told Connie when the act was still fresh. Now it felt too late to open up and tell her the truth. He was a man of honour and loyalty, he wanted what Sam and Emma had. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her but how could he possibly do that with this awful secret looming over his every move. Huffing irritably at his own stupidity he rested his hands on the outer edges of the sink, staring at his reflection in the ensuite mirror.

"You fool." Scolding himself, he shook his head and grabbed a towel off the rack to dry his face.

Little did he know, she was out in the car park getting her own back. For the thirteenth time now, but still, who's counting? She felt a sense of achievement, knowing that he was still drawn to her. Still coming back for more after _ending_ it each and every time they got into this situation. Tonight was no different.

He smoothed his palms up over her thighs, her dress once again pushed up over her hips and underwear pushed to one side. This time it was him struggling to keep quiet. The sight before him was beyond belief. He was sat slouched down in the middle of the backseat of his car, she was straddled across his lap, riding him so agonisingly slowly. Panting with each roll of her hips, one hand on the base of his his throat and the other on his chest using it as leverage as she rocked back and forth on him. She was doing it on purpose. Growing sexually frustrated with the speed at which she was grinding on him, he moved his hands up from her thighs to her hips grabbing them firmly. Taking control, he sped things up a little bit, it turned him on hearing her become vocal and so far she'd been pretty silent. Until now. He sat up straight, yanking her dress straps down to reveal her lace bra. Groaning with urgency, her mouth gaped slightly with lust. He immediately went to kiss her, the look in her eyes matching how he felt but her grip on his throat tightened dangerously, pushing him back down with dominance.

"That's against your rules, remember?" Her words were breathed stiltedly, dripping with want and lust yet she'd still delay the inevitable just to make a point. He'd stated after the school toilet cubicle session he didn't think they should kiss or indeed leave tell-tale marks on one another. She knew how to infuriate him, even during sex.

"Shut up." He used his forearm roughly to remove her vice like grip on his neck, swiping at her arm violently. He definitely shocked her, a stifled moan escaping her mouth before his lips found hers, kissing her urgently as he sat up straight. He was no longer pinned down by her authority, pulling her even closer to him as her chest pressed up against his firmly, causing him to go even deeper. Her brow furrowed at the intense feeling as she let out an even louder moan, causing him to vocalise his pleasure too.

Their indulgent moans were muffled heavily by their passionate lip lock, their tongues wrestling with one another. Bucking his hips slowly, he matched her rhythm and met each one of her hip rolls perfectly. His arms loosened a little from around her body, moving higher to remove her bra, not normally a staple move in their little sessions but this one felt different, perhaps it was the alcohol they'd both consumed but the urgency he felt was more intense than ever before. He wanted to touch every part of her body, revel in her sexual beauty. His own wants and desired were held back for a moment as he felt her stiffen slightly, her hip movements becoming less controlled as she got closer to the edge. He could tell sometimes, before it even happened because every single time, and yes he got her there _every_ time, she'd pull away from the kiss and face away from him. It was her most vulnerable state and she wasn't going to let him witness it. Almost on cue, she broke the passionate embrace their lips were involved in, her breaths were panted out quickly, her moans becoming less chesty and more throaty as she struggled to remain composed. Throwing her head back in ecstasy, she pushed her hands down firmly on his chest, the orgasm was nearing and was so intense she felt like she needed to get away from it.

"Don't look away." He panted breathlessly growing closer himself, grabbing her jaw and forcing her to look down at him as he continued to thrust into her, he wanted to watch her as she came but she fought hard, gripping his forearm firmly and pushing his arm away. He beat her to the finish line, his final staggered movements bringing her to the brink with him. As soon as he'd lost his hold on her face she moaned out euphorically and ceased her riding motion for a split second, releasing a pleasure-filled throaty groan from him upon feeling her tensing around him. Still riding out the wave of her orgasm, she was moving more slowly now, regaining her breath as he marvelled at her body, panting heavily with her. His hands continued to roam her body gently, sliding from her hips and up her sides as he sat himself up again completely taking her by surprise when he pulled her in close once more, kissing her deeply but slowly and tenderly this time. Her arms remained limp by her side for a second before she melted into his embrace, her hands travelling up to either side of his head as she held him gently, their tongues becoming reacquainted for the second time this evening.

"I have to go." She spoke immediately upon breaking the kiss, leaning away from him she grabbed her bra that he'd carelessly tossed aside and put it back on before pulling her dress straps back up over her arms. He just watched in a daze, more confused about this situation than he'd ever been before. She raised herself up off him delicately, fixing her underwear and the lower half of her dress before exiting out into the cold night air. That was it. She left almost as quickly as he'd balled her into the back of his car. But that's how they rolled. They did the deed, conversed very little and then went their separate ways as if it never happened.

That's how they kept their dirty secrets safe.


	3. Chapter 3

***Well, I'm glad you're all apparently loving this! Lol enjoy! Please review!***

11:56pm and he still hadn't found sleep, his eyes focused solely on the alarm clock blinking on his bedside table. Emma was sound asleep beside him, but his mind refused to let him forget about his run-in with Connie three days ago in the back of his car. It angered him slightly because he was almost certain that she wouldn't have looked back on it for even a second. It was just another quick screw to her, or was it? Either way, that definitely wasn't the case for him, he was _craving_ her. Perhaps it was the regularity of it, not at all a scheduled happing but it was regular in terms of it happening every couple of days. They were due another _meeting_ but with it being a spur of the moment thing, he had to just wait for it to happen. Which was agonising.

Suddenly growing impatient at his thoughts interfering with his ability to sleep, he rolled on to his back with a slight huff. To no surprise, Emma didn't stir at all. She slept like a log. He turned his head to look at her. This was so cruel, so disrespectful but he couldn't help it. Even now, looking at her, his _fiancee_ , he was still thinking about Connie. His jaw clenching knowing that at this very moment in time, wherever she was, she probably and almost definitely wasn't thinking about him.

Or was she?

Truth be told, she wasn't. She was seven paragraphs deep into a research paper she'd stupidly agreed to read through for Ethan. Her wine glass almost empty, she was ready to call it a night as her eyes felt dry with fatigue. Jacob wasn't here tonight, he was out with _the lads_ and probably that blonde bitch he'd bedded a few months ago. She'd even texted him, which is how she found her name and ultimately facebook stalked her like any normal partner would do. Not that she felt threatened by this woman, she was merely curious about her. Curling her lip upon the thought of her, she was immediately catapulted back to her backseat sexcapade with Sam a few nights ago. Her teeth grazed her bottom lip as she let her mind relive the moment vividly. She wanted to text him, a void needed filling but there wasn't a chance in hell she would ever message him first. That'd give him power over this situation and there was no way that was happening. No, he could message her first if that was the road this little situation was going to take. Otherwise, she'd have to wait until they crossed paths again, undoubtedly the innocent act of bumping into one another, either planned or unplanned, they'd end up in an intimate position. No question about it. There was a comfortable feel about this fact, knowing it would happen again.

And surprise, surprise. It did, a pathetic forty-two minutes later.

She'd never gripped her bed sheets so hard in all of her life, she had no idea what had gotten into him but he wasn't letting her overpower him at all tonight. He was being rough, almost borderline angry. Her relentless moans were wasted, breathed out forcefully into the mattress. This wasn't a typical position for them, she was _never_ one to submit in any situation in life. Especially not in the bedroom. But this, this was something else. He had a handful of her hair balled into his fist as he pushed her head down into her crisp white sheets. His left hand gripping on to her hip so firmly, she could feel his nails digging into her skin as he rolled his own hips against her from behind. She was in a powerless position, head down, ass up and she was actually _enjoying_ it. The deep arch in her back, combined with the unhinged groans coming from her mouth confirmed this for him. The mere thought of overpowering her alone was enough of a turn on but actually _doing it_ was a whole other story.

She could hear him grunting with satisfaction, her eyes rolling back in her head with pleasure. Just as it was becoming too much, too intense, too suffocating he made use of her hair balled into his grip and pulled her up forcefully. Inevitably receiving a loud gasp from her spent body.

"Hold yourself up." He demanded breathlessly, not wanting to hold her up in that position as he continued to grind against her. But her whole body was a trembling mess, her arms shaking too much to even support her own body weight. The pleasure he was giving her was so intense, she'd already peaked twice and he was only just getting started.

"I can't." Panting out her words in a feeble whisper, he let up on his firm grip and slowed his movements slightly. Almost pitying her, after all he had been pretty merciless. He closed the ninety degree angle between his chest and her back, closing the gap completely. Laying his bare front on her arched back, he released her hair from his closed right palm and lay his left hand to rest along side hers on the sheets. His hand previously holding her hair slid down gently between her ear and shoulder to clasp at her throat. He sighed with content, moving his head to her left shoulder and nibbling at her skin. She was moaning soundlessly at his tamer, more sensual movements but he could still feel the vibrations in her throat.

This was a first, obviously the power shift but also the setting and circumstances. They were breaking their own, unspoken rules. Firstly, they were in _her house_ , in _her bed_ , the same one she regularly shares with Jacob and secondly, they were both free of any and all clothes. Just their bodies and the sheets tangled together, the sweat beading on their bodies glistening poetically under the bright moonlight that was looking down through her window at them. Her curtains left undrawn and open to the natural white light.

She was still trembling, her arms now buckling even more with his weight pressed onto her back. She hummed, her eyes closed, enjoying his slower, softer movements but her arms had given up. She lowered a little, creating a gap between his chest and her back once again. He read the signal, letting go of the gentle hold he'd had on her throat as she collapsed slowly and quite elegantly onto her front, ultimately separating their union in the lower region as well. Upon no longer being inside her, he took the opportunity to turn her over gently. Her breathing immediately became harsher as soon as she was on her back, her lungs no longer fighting for air as much, she still struggled to harness control again but was happy to have her front facing him.

Separating her legs, he positioned himself between them but remained unconnected, instead he moved over her, resting his hands on either side of her rib cage to hold himself above her frame, allowing himself an easy method of lowering himself down towards her, his lips connecting with the skin on her neck. He kissed, sucked, nipped and nibbled from her chin, down her throat, to her clavicle, her chest, her stomach and her hip bones before darting back up to her mouth quickly, her breathing a shambles at the sensations she'd just experienced. Kissing passionately, their tongues for once weren't fighting for dominance, instead they were dancing harmoniously with one another before he cruelly pulled away, giving her a devilish look as soon as her eyes fluttered open with disappointment at the kiss coming to a premature end.

He moved back to where he'd previously reached, her hip bones, and repeated his actions there once more as he dragged his hands down over her shoulders and breasts, immediately causing her to throw her back into an arch at the feeling. Her own hands, moving to play with her nipples as his continued moving downwards, dragging slowly down her sides until her reached her stomach, ducking lower with his head, now positioned right between her legs she gaped her mouth open, feeling him breathing on her. He pulled her legs into a better position, resting over his shoulders as he cunningly wrapped his arms under each of her thighs, locking his hands on top of them so she couldn't pull away. Because Lord knows, she was going to try.

"Oh my God." Her eyes closed immediately, so tightly she couldn't even see any light through her lids. Furrowing her brow deeply as his tongue flicked expertly across her clitoris, he tortured her slowly, only flicking over it the once before moving his lips to her inner thighs, kissing and nipping at them with his teeth. Her arms were outstretched, clawing at the sheets on either side of her with absolute impatience. They soon moved to his head when he returned his mouth to her folds, this time not holding back at all. This was obvious in her quick change in body language, her back once again arched as far as it could go, her head tilted back in blissful agony as her fingers became tangled in his his hair. The building pleasure becoming too much, she tried to move move away from his mouth, her rapid breathing getting mixed in with her uncontrolled moans as she pushed at his head.

Refusing to release her from his grip, he continued eating her out, bringing her to the edge for a third time. He groaned into her as she came, the sound he just caused her to make was one he'd never heard before but it was one he definitely wanted to hear again.

* * *

Wallowing. That's what he was doing. Now on his fourth pint, he was finding no enjoyment with _the lads,_ not tonight anyhow. He sighed, wiping his mouth upon finishing his last mouthful. It was 2:07am and he'd hardly spoken to anyone in his company. He had only guilt on his mind. He needed to tell Connie of his indescretion, feeling like this wasn't an option any more, it was destroying him.

"Think I'm gonna head off, fellas, call it a night." He rose whilst speaking, laughing slightly at the chorus of boos and moans after his departing announcement. "Hey, being a Staff Nurse in the ED entails huge responsibility, you know? I've gotta get my beauty sleep."

Although he left with a smile following his jestful comments, his heart was heavy and his mind troubled. Going back to his place was the best option tonight, he'd sleep on it and prepare himself to come clean in the morning. Perhaps he should revise his will beforehand? Who knows how she was going to react. He had no doubt her claws would be out though.

* * *

The curtains were still undrawn, the morning light creeping in through the threatening rain clouds outside. It took her a moment to properly awaken herself, a small smile gracing her face upon remembering her night of action with Sam. The smile was gone almost as quickly as it had appeared, the result of a distinct movement in the bed next to her as Jacob slammed her front door, calling her name up the stairs. She rolled over, sitting up instantly as her heart began to race. His body still sprawled sleepily next to hers. Their fifth and final rule had been broken.

He'd stayed the night.


	4. Chapter 4

***Thanks so much for the reviews everyone, so grateful! Enjoy this next chapter, not sure how long I'm intending this fic to be, but enjoy regardless! Please review!***

 _The curtains were still undrawn, the morning light creeping in through the threatening rain clouds outside. It took her a moment to properly awaken herself, a small smile gracing her face upon remembering her night of action with Sam. The smile was gone almost as quickly as it had appeared, the result of a distinct movement in the bed next to her as Jacob slammed her front door, calling her name up the stairs. She rolled over, sitting up instantly as her heart began to race. His body still sprawled sleepily next to hers. Their fifth and final rule had been broken._

 _He'd stayed the night._

* * *

Rustling the sheets back frantically, she threw herself out of the bed, grabbing her robe and fastening it around herself tightly as she raced for the door. She intercepted perfectly, just as he'd reached her doorway she met him there, closing the door before he could glance in at the mess of sheets Sam was nestled in.

"Jacob, what're you doing here?" Her words were breathy, but she soon calmed. Part of her feared him finding out because it'd probably end the sordid affair due to Sam's concern of it destroying his relationship should anyone else know. But also, part of her wanted him so desperately to know, to walk in on them even and have his heart pierced the way hers had been upon discovering he'd done the dirty on her first.

"I need to talk to you-"

"I'm already running late, can it wait?" She lied, holding her robe closed over her love-bitten chest, the tell-tale passion marks staining her skin. "The shower's already running." She prompted with yet another lie after not receiving an answer from him.

"Yeah, course." Forcing a smile, he leant in, kissing her as he slipped his hand around her side and up her back. He tried to deepen it but she pulled away, a devilish smile on her face. "Later."

"I'll hold you to that." He let his eyes roam her body as he dragged his bottom lip between his teeth, a look of lust marking his expression. "See you at work, boss." He dipped his head and jogged down the stairs, smiling to himself once again but a weight still loomed heavily over his existence. His confession would have to wait until tonight, perhaps he could soften it with dinner and wine? Or maybe that'd be too obvious? Regardless his mind was in a frenzy as he left the house.

As soon as she heard the door close she finally found herself able to breathe again. The panic was over, although it was exciting and dangerous, she knew Sam had a lot at stake. Re-entering her room, she was greeted with a now half dressed Sam as he dashed about the room, gathering his scattered clothes that were so passionately torn off and thrown all over the place the night before.

"I can't believe this." He breathed frustratedly, a shoe missing from his collection.

"He was totally oblivious-"

"That's not the point! Emma's going to wonder where the hell I've been." He gushed, now seated on the edge of the bed as he finished buttoning his shirt. Having located his missing shoe with her eagle eye, she handed it to him with a smug smile on her face. The smile only widened when he snatched it impatiently from her grip, now doing his shoes up in a little temper.

"I didn't ask you to come over here-" She started, her temper flaring as a result of his doing so.

"I know!" He breathed after cutting her off, pausing for a moment during his lace-tying. "I know, I just, I shouldn't have stayed." Finishing up his shoes, he stood, grabbing his suit jacket and swinging it on roughly. He headed for the hallway without another word, halting in the doorway to turn and look at her. "This can't happen again, that was far too close." The look in his eye told her he was deadly serious this time but she knew it'd happen again. No doubt about it.

* * *

"Where the hell were you, Sam?" Her accent exaggerated the anger in her voice, her hands on her hips as she stood by the stove in their kitchen.

"I'm sorry, I got called out this morning, emergency at work." He set his keys down and loosened his tie, attempting to make out he'd been suited up and working hard. At least one of those latter pieces of information was true. He was certainly putting the work in.

"I thought you'd forgotten." Her body turned back to the stove to continue stirring in the pot.

"Forgotten?" Repeating her words, he hoped to get an answer about what exactly he could have forgotten. It wasn't her birthday, or their anniversary or any other significant occasion, not that he could think of anyway.

"My parents? Sam, please tell me you didn't forget! Their plane lands in three hours!"

Oh, that! No, of course I haven't forgotten, that's why I'm home now." He continued to deceive her. "I came home to shower up before they get here."

"Good." Her anger subsided, a small smile now marking her lips. "Come say good morning to me properly."

"After I've showered, there were some pretty contagious people in this morning." He faked a grimace, watching her pout as she continued stirring.

"Okay, well, I'll be waiting patiently for you to return."

His heart dropped. He couldn't keep doing this, he _loved_ Emma with his entire heart and marrying her was defintely what he wanted but at the same time what he had going on with Connie right now was incredible. Even as he headed upstairs and into the shower, he found his mind wandering back to her body and what it did to him, what _his_ did to her. Every movement and sound she made in response to how he touched her was etched into his brain. Even just the _thought_ of her was doing things to him. He had to finish his shower off with a waterfall of cold water to stem the bodily reactions to his steamy thoughts.

In her own bathroom, she didn't need thoughts to envisage their passionate night. He'd so thoughtfully left his marks all over her, in more ways than one. From the purple love-bites on her chest and inner thighs, the reddened fingernail marks in her left hip and the grazed skin covering her clavicles where his teeth had not so gently broken her skin, not enough to bleed but enough to have left marks. Examining her love wounds in the mirror, she smiled to herself before entering the shower too.

No amount of water could wash away these dirty secrets from their minds and bodies though.

* * *

"I thought you said this was over?" She panted in a slightly pained whisper, her back once again pressed up against the cold wall. His hips connected at hers as he thrusted into her, not a repeated angry sex session like the one from three nights ago, tonight's movements were slow, hushed and stealthy. Their confidence possibly getting the better of them, in fact the fear of being caught was now a massive turn on for them both, amidst the obvious feeling of pleasure they gained from one another's physical connection there were new feelings thrown in to the mix, feelings neither of them were prepared to address right now.

"Oh, Jesus." He groaned into the space between her shoulder and collarbone as his eyes closed tightly at the feeling, her hand holding the back of his neck tightened instantly, both in arousal and fear.

"Shh." Tilting her head a fraction, her mouth was right next to his right ear, begging him to be silent. They were positioned to the left of the ED entrance, between two buildings so close together it formed an alleyway. Her back up against one wall, trapped between it's rough surface and Sam's body. One of her heeled feet remained planted on the ground and her left leg raised up over his hip supported by his right hand caressing under her thigh, her heel pressed firmly against the wall behind him to keep herself in an accessible position for him.

It was 8:17pm, dark as hell outside and colder than either would have cared to admit. Her breath visible on the air with each pleasure-filled pant and soundless moan she let escape her lips. In order to keep their discretion and silence her now audible moans, he speeded up his movement a fraction, moving his mouth from biting at the side of her neck to her lips as he began an intimately passionate kiss. This was one of their _quick let's go whilst nobody's looking_ kind of encounters, evident by their still clothed bodies, only removing what was necessary in order to do the deed.

To his surprise, she deepened the kiss as she neared her release, using their lip-lock as a form of controlling her pleasure. Her right hand still gripping tightly on to the back of his neck, pulling him into the kiss even more firmly. Their tongues once again fighting for dominance as her left hand smoothed over his stubbled right cheek along his jawline. She moaned blissfully into his mouth, her body stiffening slightly as that familiar wave of euphoria completely took over her body, her groans heightening in pitch before she rode out her orgasm smoothly, rolling her hips to meet his thrusts . His body reacted solely on hers, his movement speeding up once again as her release encouraged his.

They remained connected, moving slowly as they came down from their high, still kissing but lazily now before she broke the kiss. Her face flushed with passion.

"You better not have left I mark." Her hand moved from the back of his neck to the spot his mouth had previously been near her throat, touching at it as if she could feel if there was any discolouration.

"You're clear." He whispered with a smile, pulling out gently allowing her stand up properly once more. On extremely shaky legs, however she managed to keep her balance as she readjusted her skirt, pulling it back into position. "Do you think Jacob suspects something?" He asked, remaining in close proximity to her as she re-did her blouse buttons he'd so excitedly ripped open. One of these days, the buttons were going to call it a day and fly off with the strain.

"He's too wrapped up in his own guilt to notice mine." She finished the last button and started to walk away but his hand wrapped around her forearm, halting her.

"What?"

"He slept with someone behind my back, and finally confessed last night." The way she was speaking completely threw him off, she was so calm, so collected and eerily icy about it.

"What do you mean f _inally_?" His eyes narrowed accusingly, her arm still in his tight grip. "You mean you _knew_ he'd cheated on you?"

"Of course I knew." She retorted confidently, snatching her arm from his hold. "Do you really think I'm that stupid? I know the tell-tale signs of a cheating partner, after fifteen years of marriage to one of the most philandering and unfaithful men I've ever met, I'd be worried if I didn't." She scoffed becoming angry at the whole conversation, it was none of his business.

"Woah, wait a minute." He spoke with exasperation, his hand now nipping at the space on the bridge of his nose between his brows frustratedly. "So, you're telling me this is all about _revenge_? What, he screwed someone so you're getting your own back with me? Is that what this is?" His hand dropped down to his side dramatically, laughing with disbelief. "I don't believe this."

"Why on Earth are you getting so hot and bothered about this?" She asked in a perplexed manner, the confusion evident on her face. "This was only ever meant to be a meaningless affair, it started out as a temporary lapse in judgement, I admit, but it was nothing more than that-"

"To you, perhaps! But what about me, Connie?!"


	5. Chapter 5

***Thanks so much for the reviews, comments on twitter and feedback! Much appreciated, especially the review mentioning how it's good that there's an actual story line as opposed to just pure sex tales. I actually NEVER wanted to type such illicit scenes, I'm extremely shy and it kind of unnerved me if I'm being honest but thought I'd give it a go since people were actually asking for it. Hopefully it's going well! Enjoy and please review!***

 _"He's too wrapped up in his own guilt to notice mine." She finished the last button and started to walk away but his hand wrapped around her forearm, halting her._

 _"What?"_

 _"He slept with someone behind my back, and finally confessed last night." The way she was speaking completely threw him off, she was so calm, so collected and eerily icy about it._

 _"What do you mean finally?" His eyes narrowed accusingly, her arm still in his tight grip. "You mean you knew he'd cheated on you?"_

 _"Of course I knew." She retorted confidently, snatching her arm from his hold. "Do you really think I'm that stupid? I know the tell-tale signs of a cheating partner, after fifteen years of marriage to one of the most philandering and unfaithful men I've ever met, I'd be worried if I didn't." She scoffed becoming angry at the whole conversation, it was none of his business._

 _"Woah, wait a minute." He spoke with exasperation, his hand now nipping at the space on the bridge of his nose between his brows frustratedly. "So, you're telling me this is all about revenge? What, he screwed someone so you're getting your own back with me? Is that what this is?" His hand dropped down to his side dramatically, laughing with disbelief. "I don't believe this."_

 _"Why on Earth are you getting so hot and bothered about this?" She asked in a perplexed manner, the confusion evident on her face. "This was only ever meant to be a meaningless affair, it started out as a temporary lapse in judgement, I admit, but it was nothing more than that-"_

 _"To you, perhaps! But what about me, Connie?!"_

* * *

The air between them was completely still, a harrowing silence spread over their surroundings. Nothing but street traffic and the distant sound of sirens to fill in the abrasive quietness.

"Sam-"

"No, no, by all means go ahead. Have your little revenge affair if it makes you feel any better." His sarcasm cut through the air like a knife. "Just don't do it with me." He snarled, moving to get past her but she blocked the alley way exit.

"Woah, just hold on a second, why are you so angry? You're the one getting _married_ , Sam." Unlike their sex acts, she fought to gain his eye contact, well and truly confused about his angry outburst at her recent revelation. "This is just a meaningless bit of fun-"

"You have no idea." He cut her off, avoiding her gaze, as she always did with him whilst they were screwing. He moved her aside firmly but not at all roughly. " _A bit of fun_ , Connie? You really think I'd risk everything just for _a bit of fun_?" He shook his head at her silence and left.

For the first time, she was the one left stood alone feeling stupid and confused. As if her own feelings weren't confusing enough, now she had his to think about as well. She was internally yelling at herself for allowing things to get this messy, this out of hand, this real.

She left it a few minutes before heading back inside, still attempting to keep their infidelity under wraps. He was straight back into it, elbow deep in patients. Sam Strachan, ED hero to the rescue. She stood with her arms folded, watching on in awe. Looks like that all blew up in her face, not only had she now lost her faithful (or not so) fuck buddy, but she was trying to bury the feelings she was desperately attempting to ignore. Hopefully if they weren't acknowledged, they'd fade away. Burn out. Vanish.

Or perhaps not? Who even knew anymore. He was set to be married though, she knew that much.

* * *

"Sam? What are you doing here?" Elle questioned, the confusion written all over her face.

"Apparently Ethan's still feeling a little under the weather, so it looks like you lucky people have me on-call for the rest of the evening." He smiled, gripping his stethoscope in his hand. "Slow night?"

"Shocking." She rolled her eyes. "A good sign, I guess? People are being careful, keeping out of harms way."

"I might actually get more than half an hour's kip as well." He rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Page me if you need me."

"Might even page you if I don't." She quipped with a mischievous smile, causing him to shake his head as he headed for the lift and entered it.

It had been two weeks since he'd screwed then argued with Connie in the darkened alleyway. They'd actually barely spoken since, barely even crossed paths. It was a heavy case of him avoiding her and her avoiding him. These weird feelings had been exposed and damaged a good thing they had going. He missed it though, a lot.

That didn't eradicate his anger though, had he known he was just a revenge shag he'd have steered clear. Or would he? Thinking back on it, he made that first move after the patient wedding. He'd found himself watching her through the entire informal ceremony in the cubicle. Every small movement she made from the way she avoided his gaze, the way she held her own hands before herself to how she carried herself as she passed him by. That was the final straw, the look she'd given him before leaving combined with the way she walked down the corridor ahead of him. Was she teasing him? Enticing him? Or was that just Connie being Connie? He had no idea but he was furious with her at the same time as wanting to take her in the corridor right there and then. Luckily, that little store cupboard seemed to appear out of nowhere, like magic.

He thought that breaking this messy little affair off would give him time to refocus on what he wanted with Emma but in all honesty, Connie had never left his mind. Countless times he'd wanted to just show up at her house like he had that night they went really wild but a wise voice in the back of his head always talked him out of it. He knew this feeling was more than desire now, it was a whole mixture of want, need, desire, lust, passion and was that last one love? He clenched his teeth and shook his head with frustration at his own thoughts. No, it was just an animal attraction they both shared for one another. They were both very sexual individuals, which made for an exciting partnership but could there be more than that? He couldn't picture them being _together_ in any other sense than a physical one. How could that be love? Or could it? His brain ached with all of these confusing and unanswered questions.

The lift stopped moving, bringing him back to the moment as the doors opened to reveal none other than his sexual, sparring partner on the other side. An awkward wave crashing over them both. Neither wanted to begin a conversation but at the same time they didn't want to pass without at least one word. Being the brave one, Connie opened her mouth first.

"You're on call tonight?" Her eyes glanced down to his overnight bag as he exited the lift.

"Yeah, Ethan's still feeling a little low so I picked up his shift for him." He folded his lips together, edging around her. This is how their encounters began, a simple, innocent run-in and one thing would quickly lead to another but he was't playing that game anymore.

"Ah, yes, he's not quite been himself lately." The silence pounced on them again, it was obvious they'd both noted it's uncomfortable feeling and began to speak at the same time, stopping at the same time before Connie smiled and got her words out. "Go ahead."

"No, I was just-" He faltered momentarily, shifting on the spot with his bag as she put her hand between the lift doors to prevent them from closing without her having entered. "I think we need to talk."

"That's what we're doing right now, Mr Strachan." Throwing formalities back into their interaction, he frowned slightly before realising it was a show for the passers by, her eyes following them until they disappeared finally allowing him to speak freely.

"No, I mean properly, in private."

When did they ever do _talking_? Never, really. It was a rare occurrence and this quiet evening in the ED on-call room was definitely not one of these rare occurrences. He mentally cursed his lack of control along with the demented sap who thought it was a good idea to furnish each and every one of the on-call rooms with only single beds.

Two weeks of built up desire was being unleashed all at once, the tiny on-call room hot with desire and their soft groans as they rolled up against one another, tangled in the sheets. Their skin tacky with the warmth of their bodies being so close. Not appreciating the lack of control she'd had over their last run-in along with the way he'd left her stood feeling ridiculous, she was taking charge tonight. This time, he was backed up against the headboard on the bed as she sat straddled over his lap, riding him sensually, one arm draped around his shoulder, her hand holding the nape of his neck as her left arm was more outstretched, her hand gripping tightly at the headboard as she used it as a form of leverage. The front of her body was like a wave lapping up against his torso and chest, his hands free to roam her entire physicality, his palms smoothed over her sides, down to her hips and back up to her lower back pulling her closer to him as she continued to grind up against his body. Inevitably this move resulted in a more higher pitched sound from her throat, her breath hitching slightly at the sensation of him going deeper.

"Mmm." Humming with pleasure, her head dropped slightly as her left hand let go of it's tight grip on the headboard, moving to flatten her palm on his upper chest, she pushed herself away from him and quickened her pace. Her eyes closed and her mouth gaped, overwhelmed with pleasure, which only intensified when he felt her moving too far away from him, her nearing orgasm forcing her to want to pull away but he stopped her. Wrapping his right arm around her middle he pulled her back towards him tightly, holding her up a bit more and flat against him, allowing him more hip movement as he bucked his hips in time with the roll of her hips. He could feel her growing closer, the change in her rhythm and the erratic nature of her breathing as it quickly became more of a vocalised panting than breathing.

He too was beginning to struggle with keeping his pleasure contained, low groans escaping his mouth every ten seconds or so until he could no longer refrain from kissing her, he initiated it lovingly, throwing her off-guard slightly. She took a moment to indulge, afraid of what would happen but the feeling was too hard to ignore. She obliged, kissing him back, their groans intertwining through their locked lips and wrestling tongues. Her left hand that had lay flat on his chest wandered down a fraction, smoothing around over the side of his ribs until she reached his lower back too, clawing at his flesh as she got dangerously close to the edge, pulling herself _even closer_ to him as the feeling became almost unbearable, breaking the kiss instantly to moan out more vocally. The headboard was hitting the wall, gently at first but as they both got closer to peaking and their movements became more urgent, the noise of it pounding the wall was undeniably loud. It wouldn't have taken a genius to figure out what was going on in this room but the pair of them were far too caught up in their sexual satisfaction to even bat an eye.

"Don't." He breathed shakily, forcing her to look at him. She was doing her best to break all visual contact with him as she normally would but there was not a chance in hell he was letting that happen tonight. She groaned deeply between erratic pants, biting her lip as she tried to throw her head back, the feeling really taking over her now but his hand reached up quickly, grabbing the back of her neck the same way she had hold of him only mirrored. He pulled her head towards his as though they were about to kiss but their lips never came into contact, instead he just held her there, her forehead lightly touching his, unavoidable eye contact now being held as he felt her release wash over them both with a loud cry joined swiftly by a throaty groan from him as he followed suit in his release.

Their spent bodies were still heaving breathlessly and moving only slightly as they both rode out the euphoric feeling, remarkably they still had eye contact, the strangest feeling hanging over them both. He'd just witnessed her at her most vulnerable, the way her eyebrows knitted together with distress as she'd experienced her sexual high made him feel some type of way. Equally, she felt exposed and slightly unguarded. Her initial instinct was to pull away, which understandably she tried to do but he stopped her immediately with a kiss, not an urgent, lust-driven kiss but a soft and gentle connection. One that reiterated his care for her. She remained tensed in his grip, wanting nothing more than to escape the room and avoid all of these feelings but they way he was handling her was impressive, she soon melted into his grip again, deepening the kiss as her hands moved to the sides of his face, her thumbs smoothing over his temples gently. He sat up, taking her with him and in one swift movement, he switched their positions so that he was above her, laying her down beneath him as their kiss was still very much in progress.

* * *

" _Page me if you need me_." Elle muttered to herself in the lift, mocking Sam's previous statement he'd made downstairs a couple of hours ago. She'd paged him a grand total of twelve times now, along with a string of phone calls. And _nothing_. Not a peep. As soon as the lift doors opened, she travelled towards the on-call rooms and reached out for the handle of the door to his room. "Sam?" She called out softly, there was no answer though. Not having time to waste due to the flurry of injured people needing help downstairs, she opened the door quietly. "Sam-" Her throat closed up instantly, cutting off all sound from her vocal chords as she was left speechless at the sight before her. There in the tiny single bed laying asleep together were Sam Strachan and Connie Beauchamp, his larger frame positioned behind her closely. Playing the role of the big spoon, and she the little spoon, her back pressed up against his chest as they both lay on their left-hand sides. His right arm draped over her protectively as they slept soundly.

They were both completely covered by the duvet aside from his chest, their shoulders and arms but obviously, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had gone down in this room.


	6. Chapter 6

***I know it's been centuries, I'm so sorry! Had a crazy 2018 so far! But I'm back now! I'm a tad rusty, so be kind haha! I hope you enjoy this chapter. For those asking, my twitter for my fics is sofia_casualty and I don't have a personal account. I often post polls on twitter to find out what you all want updating and I always tweet the fic link once I've posted a chapter as well. (I'll follow back too!) Please review! And thank you to those who left reviews on the latest chapter of 'Damaged Heart' Also, I feel so gross writing these chapters but enjoy anyway you kinky bunch!***

 _"Page me if you need me." Elle muttered to herself in the lift, mocking Sam's previous statement he'd made downstairs a couple of hours ago. She'd paged him a grand total of twelve times now, along with a string of phone calls. And nothing. Not a peep. As soon as the lift doors opened, she travelled towards the on-call rooms and reached out for the handle of the door to his room. "Sam?" She called out softly, there was no answer though. Not having time to waste due to the flurry of injured people needing help downstairs, she opened the door quietly. "Sam-" Her throat closed up instantly, cutting off all sound from her vocal chords as she was left speechless at the sight before her. There in the tiny single bed laying asleep together were Sam Strachan and Connie Beauchamp, his larger frame positioned behind her closely. Playing the role of the big spoon, and she the little spoon, her back pressed up against his chest as they both lay on their left-hand sides. His right arm draped over her protectively as they slept soundly._

 _They were both completely covered by the duvet aside from his chest, their shoulders and arms but obviously, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had gone down in this room._

* * *

"She _knows._ " Same urged desperately. "I can just tell." His eyes were darting around reception rapidly as he stood over the computer, Connie to his side flicking through patient notes. To anybody nearby, it looked as though they were both fully concentrating on their own separate tasks. Not having a highly risky personal conversation during work hours.

"And so what if she does?" She looked up immediately after speaking, waiting to catch his irritated eye-roll. Bang. There is was. "Dr Gardner isn't a hospital gossip, Sam." Reassuring him in a cold and truly Connie demeanour, she sighed and slammed the notes closed before walking away briskly. She was growing impatient with his paranoia and ultimately his lack of physical availability. It had been three weeks of nothing but hushed conversations and minimal eye contact all because Elle had made a comment the night he covered Ethan's shift and thus forced him to believe she knew something about their torrid affair.

Of course, unbeknownst to Connie, all of the above was true. Elle had seen them, left the room promptly and continued to give Sam the feeling she knew something. She didn't like to meddle, especially where it concerned her friend Jacob but couldn't they see how messy this would be in the long run? Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to get involved but a part of her was screaming to, a gut feeling one might say.

The rest of the day went on like all of the others, long, drawn out and for Sam extremely uncomfortable working so closely with Connie on one side of him and Elle on the other. It was like playing that kid's game _Operation_ one wrong move and zap, game over. It was almost time to leave, only two hours left before he could relax and stop the beading sweat from collecting on his brow.

"You're covering Ethan again tonight, Sam?" Elle chirped politely whilst she tended to a minor head wound on their resus patient. Connie was further down, dealing with a larger crisis on his lower leg. This is where she would utter _motorbikes are dangerous, don't ride them_ but who was she talk? She rode hers to work today. Sam, was quite figuratively and literally stuck between them as he focused on the penetrating abdomen wound.

"Uh, yeah, I offered." He choked up seeing Connie smiling to herself as if this was funny. "He wasn't feeling to good this morning."

"That's nice of you." She stated sharply before getting the last of her sentence out. "You sure you're up to it? Last time you looked like didn't get any rest at all!"

"Well, you know what they say Dr Gardner, there's no rest for the wicked." Connie interjected mischievously. She was doing it on purpose and he was about to lose it. He remained silent out of fear of saying something potentially incriminating, Elle remained silent too, studying their body language.

* * *

Their patient somehow managed to pull through despite the immense tension between the three of them and Sam was finally free of their meddling and complicated female ways.

"Are you going to tell him? Or shall I?" Her voice rippled through the air, startling her quite badly but Connie managed to remain completely unmoved. Elle was stood behind her office door, waiting for her to enter the same way a spider waits for a fly to become entangled in it's web. This web, however, was Connie's own web of lies.

"I'm assuming you're referring to Jacob?" Her voice held no concern, no guilt, nothing. Taking a seat behind her desk, she leant forward putting on an act of interest. "This has nothing to do with y-"

"When it's my friend, it has everything to do with me." She cut her off sharply, only gaining a smile from Connie which further irritated her. "What is this? Some sort of revenge affair?" Her words were emotional causing her to slip up and Connie's smile vanished instantly.

"Revenge affair?"

"What?" She stuttered, not knowing how to back-peddle. What had she done? Her panic and worry subsided a fraction as she watched Connie stand up again, she looked unbothered.

"I already know what he's done, he confessed and grovelled and begged." Her lip curled in disgust. "He can sleep with whoever he wants to."

"So, you're not-"

"Not together anymore, no. Not that it's _anyone's_ business but mine." Reaffirming aggressively she gave her the famous Beauchamp daggers before grabbing her coat. "Anything else, Dr Gardner?"

"Yes." She spoke softly. "I know you're hurting but fooling around with your engaged-to-be-married ex-"

"He's not my ex-"

"Well, whatever he is! He's getting _married,_ Connie! Look,I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say Jacob isn't the first man to cheat on you, so you know how it feels to be hurt like that. Don't be the woman that you hate." There was complete silence for 5 seconds, Elle exhaling in accomplishment but it was a premature presumption she'd made.

"I don't hate the woman. I've been _the woman_ on more than one occasion." Smirking carelessly she continued. "It's the man I hate. They're weak, pathetic and not worth my time."

The silence cascaded over them once more, she hadn't nothing else to add. In a defeated motion, she folded her lips together nonverbally saying _I tried_ before leaving the office quietly. Connie was an excellent actress, she'd been doing it her whole life. This facade she put on all the time had saved her more times than she cared to admit but underneath she was breaking. Of course Jacob had hurt her. The same way Michael had, the same way John had. But this was the last time she offered her heart to anyone because it always ends up getting broken.

* * *

He opened the door sleepily, his hair a mess and one eye squinted shut as the hallway light nearly blinded him.

"Connie?" Before he could even ask what she wanted she pushed her way past him and into the on-call room he was occupying. He woke up almost instantly, scanning the corridor for witnesses before closing the door swiftly. Enclosed in the quiet, dimly-lit room he turned to face her. "Connie, what are you doing?"

"We can't do this anymore."

"Okay." He dragged the word out for a long time before blinking in a puzzled fashion. "What's brought all this on?" Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he stole a quick glance at the clock, it was 2am.

"You were right, Elle knows and it's too risky." She half lied, Elle did know but that wasn't the reason they should stop screwing around. She did have a conscience after all and hurting Emma wasn't something she wanted to do, it was a pain she'd known and wouldn't wish upon anyone let alone assist in

"Wow." He breathed and glanced down at his bare feet and pyjama clad legs. "There's a sentence I never thought I'd hear you say, I'm right and Connie Beauchamp is wrong." They both smiled small.

"Right, well, that's that then."

But it wasn't. He knew it and she knew it. This animal attraction between them wouldn't just go away because they decided it would. That's not how this was going to work. But their antics were becoming messy and out of control. Ridiculously.

* * *

They only lasted another four days.

"Stop." His breathy plea fell on deaf ears. "Connie." Shifting uncomfortably, he scanned the car park for Grace.

"It's fine." Her voice was strangely soft on the cold air, her dainty frame pressed up against his chest whilst his suited back copped the cool feel of his car door. Trapped between a rock and a hard place. They were attending parents evening and Grace had been at Hugo's straight after school with the agreement that she and Hugo would come back with Hugo's dad at 7pm.

"And what if sh-" The words ceased upon feeling her hand wrap around him, during his panicked excuses she'd slipped her hand into his pants. His head dropped back, making a faint thud as his eyes closed at the sensation. "Oh, shit." The whisper was barely audible but she heard it, and liked it. His body was thrown into overdrive, she was stroking him deliberately slowly and he was almost wrestling himself not to grab her by the waist and throw her back inside the car but that was too dangerous considering their whereabouts. There were people milling about everywhere. Staring down at her, he finally found his hands resting upon her hips, gripping them with each stroke she gave him. Pulling her closing he could feel himself biting down on his bottom lip, desperate to kiss her. He'd never experienced such a feeling towards her until this affair of theirs had become more than just a quick fuck here and there. He couldn't explain it. He wanted to go as far as saying it could be _love_ but it couldn't be, could it?

"There they are!" Grace's voice pierced the air behind them, interrupting their intimate moment. Honestly, he'd never pushed a woman away from his genital area faster than he just had and she looked less than impressed.

"You'd better see to that." Her brow raised smugly and she straightened herself up and motioned to his blatantly obvious erection.

* * *

"I can't believe you brought a briefcase with you, Dad." Grace glanced at the large case he was holding in front of himself, Connie folded her lips in an attempt to stifle a smile.

"Yeah, hilarious." The sarcasm was wasted, nobody was listening to him anyway.

"Gracie, where are the toilets?" Connie asked, her impatience starting to show. They'd been sat waiting for her English teacher for almost fifteen minutes and it was their first stop.

"Down that hall to the left." Pointing out the direction, her attention was soon returned to her iPhone like any normal teen.

He gave it three minutes after Connie's departure before standing himself.

"Now, I need to go." He huffed. "Wait here, I'll be back in a minute. If your teacher _finally_ makes an appearance, tell her to wait." He kept a tight grip on his briefcase and headed in the same direction had previously pointed out.

Exiting the female toilets, she hoisted her bag back over her shoulder, wondering just how long they were going to be at this dreary parent-teacher hell. Her clicking heels echoed through the corridor as she marched with a purpose, he breath hitching loudly as she was grabbed around the middle and yanked into a darkened classroom.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Her voice was higher than usual, a result of the fright and panic perhaps. Her heart was beating fast and hard, he didn't answer her question.

Instead he locked the door and pushed her firmly against the front-row desks behind her, the clatter of chairs and scraping table legs on the tiled floor screeching through their ears, his face was only millimetres from hers. The darkness swallowed the details of his face but she could see it was Sam, his features prominent in the small bit of light offered by the corridor lamp. Not giving her a moment to catch her breath, he kissed her quickly and hungrily. This was payback for what she started in the car-park and never saw through. His hands back at her hips, picking her up and seating her on the desk top, placing himself between her legs. He had honestly expected more of a protest but she was kissing him back with just as much hunger and want. Her hands ripping urgently at his suit jacket. It hit the floor in seconds before she moved to his shirt, pulling it from his pants and moving her hands quickly to his belt buckle, it clanked loudly once she managed to get it loose, now desperately getting his trouser button and pulling his zipper down. He could feel himself throbbing, she was moaning into the kiss, her legs wrapping around his begging him to be closer. He'd hoisted her skirt up before she'd even got to his belt buckle, his left hand place palm down on the desk surface next to where she sat as his right hand smoothed over her inner thigh, his fingers brushing oh so close to where she wanted him to be. She resumed her hand to where it had been in the car park, tugging at him roughly and extracting a moan from him too.

"Please." She panted, breaking away from the kiss quickly. Her lids were drooped with passion, she was really begging, her mouth gaped slightly as she breathed heavily. Her eyes rolled back, an unearthly moan emulating from her throat as he pushed himself inside her. "Yessss." She hissed sensually as she snaked her right hand up to the back of his neck, her left palm gripping at his lower back and pulling him even closer and deeper. "Oh god!" The hold she had on his neck was immense, partially due to the pleasure she was experiencing and partially due to the fact that if she let go she'd fall backwards off of the desk since she was leant so far back in order to give him thrusting room. Balls deep inside of her, he started to roll up against her, groaning chestily only centimetres from her flushed face. Not able to resist any longer, he resumed the violent kiss. His hips continued to buck in a steady rhythm as her legs wrapped tightly around his lower back, not wanting him to pull away even a fraction. Her left hand had pulled away from his back immediately upon him starting to pound into her, she had to grip on the edge of the desk in order to prevent them going arse over tit. Literally.

It was a wonder nobody heard what was going on. Between their passion filled groans and yells, the desk was making enough noise scraping on the tiles with each buck of his hips, especially as he led her to orgasm and followed suit. His movements had become uncontrollably erratic before finally slowing and riding out the wave, as they kissed lazily.

The definition of a classroom quickie. Both left looking as in tact as they could, that being said, Connie did have to revisit the ladies room to reapply her messed up lipstick. This gave Sam the chance to head back to Grace and act as though he hand't just had mind-blowing, unprotected sex with her Mother in a French classroom.

"Where's Mum? You've been gone ages."

"I was having a wander around." He lied, leaning back in the chair. "I don't know where your Mum is, I thought she'd beat me back."

"Your phone was ringing non-stop, you left it on the chair." She was so expressionless at the moment. Her attitude was becoming more of an issue at home too.

"Who was it?"

"How should I know, I didn't look?" Scowling at him irately he couldn't help but notice she looked exactly like Connie with that expression. He paid her no mind and clicked the home button on his phone. Seven missed calls from Emma. His heart dropped as he called her back and held the phone to his ear, stepping away to take the call in private

"Has she _still_ not finished?" Connie's voice entered the area, referring to the tardy English teacher she retook her seat as Grace shook her head in response.

"She's late to every class as well."

"This is ridiculous." She'd only just sat down but stood up again to head towards to classroom door. Her plans were halted as Sam reappeared, grabbing his coat quickly. "What are you doing?"

"It's Emma." He breathed worriedly. "She's been admitted, an ambulance was called and everything. I have to go."


	7. Chapter 7

***I apologise for how awful the previous chapter was, I re-read it a thousand times and seemed to hate it more and more with each re-read! I've been delayed in posting because I find that if I re-read over all my chapters before posting, it becomes more fluid. So, hopefully, this chapter is a little better than the last! Please review and leave feedback, it helps a lot! Thanks for continuing to read as far as you have, I really appreciate it! XX***

 _The definition of a classroom quickie. Both left looking as in tact as they could, that being said, Connie did have to revisit the ladies room to reapply her messed up lipstick. This gave Sam the chance to head back to Grace and act as though he hand't just had mind-blowing, unprotected sex with her Mother in a French classroom._

 _"Where's Mum? You've been gone ages."_

 _"I was having a wander around." He lied, leaning back in the chair. "I don't know where your Mum is, I thought she'd beat me back."_

 _"Your phone was ringing non-stop, you left it on the chair." She was so expressionless at the moment. Her attitude was becoming more of an issue at home too._

 _"Who was it?"_

 _"How should I know, I didn't look?" Scowling at him irately he couldn't help but notice she looked exactly like Connie with that expression. He paid her no mind and clicked the home button on his phone. Seven missed calls from Emma. His heart dropped as he called her back and held the phone to his ear, stepping away to take the call in private_

 _"Has she still not finished?" Connie's voice entered the area, referring to the tardy English teacher she retook her seat as Grace shook her head in response._

 _"She's late to every class as well."_

 _"This is ridiculous." She'd only just sat down but stood up again to head towards to classroom door. Her plans were halted as Sam reappeared, grabbing his coat quickly. "What are you doing?"_

 _"It's Emma." He breathed worriedly. "She's been admitted, an ambulance was called and everything. I have to go."_

* * *

Leaning against the kitchen counter she allowed the silence of her house to envelope her and her thoughts. Upon the end of the parents evening, Connie had driven herself and Grace home. Neither of them had heard from Sam since he left the school building in a panic, his body still flushed with warmth from his sexual encounter with her. Suddenly grimacing at how disgusting she felt, she shook her head as if to rattle the thoughts away before continuing to wipe down the counter tops. Grace was showered and in bed as the clock neared 10:47pm, they'd enjoyed a pizza together for tea and much to Connie's disgust she actually liked it.

She'd be lying if she said her mind hadn't kept wandering into thoughts about Emma and what was going on though, it sounded serious whatever it was. The look on Sam's face was haunting her.

* * *

Heading into work at 9am the following morning, she felt as though she was walking in blind. All she knew was Emma had been admitted here, in Holby City General. Sam had mentioned no more. At least Grace was at school now and she could drop her guard a little.

"Morning." Charlie sighed as he spoke, a soft look embellishing his face. She didn't stop walking, instead inviting him to walk along with her to her office. "I heard Sam was here overnight with Emma, how is she?"

"Honestly?" She smiled coldly. "I wouldn't know, he hasn't bothered to answer any of my texts, which doesn't bother me at all but he hasn't responded to Grace either." She shook her head as she shrugged out of her coat and hung it up on her coat stand before settling herself behind her desk. " _That_ bothers me." Suddenly cringing at how unsympathetic she sounded her body relaxed with a slow blink accompanied with a deep exhalation. Charlie stood gingerly in the doorway, his lips folded. "Sorry, I know that sounds icy."

"Regardless, he's upstairs if you want to see him? He's barely slept a wink." With that small sentence uttered, Charlie left her office in silence. An ugly one at that.

To her own annoyance, she took Charlie's suggestion and ran with it. Grabbing herself and Sam a coffee on the way up. One of the nurses pointed her in the right direction and her stomach sank. The 'Obstetrics and Gynaecology' ward. This could _not_ be good. I mean, she didn't particularly _like_ the woman but she'd definitely never wish any harm or ill-health upon her.

Halting outside the room she almost turned back and left, she could see through the window she looked in bad shape and Sam was slumped in a chair beside her, his head heavy in his hands. As she stood contemplating whether or not to just turn and leave, a twist of fate had Sam sit up and stretch his back out, ultimately catching sight of her. To her surprise he got up immediately and moved outside of the private room to see her.

"I thought you could do with a coffee." Her voice was low, in attempt to conceal any hint of concern for Emma or even him for that matter. Handing him the hot takeout cup he took it gratefully.

"Thanks." His voice was gravelly with lack of sleep. "It's been a long night."

"Charlie let me know where you were." There was an aggrevated tone to her words but he had to give her points for trying as she managed to mask it as best she could.

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I just-"

"No." She interrupted him with a wrinkled expression, regret overruling her. "No, I know. Sorry. How is she?"

"She's still not out of the woods." He glanced at her worriedly before turning to look at Emma's frame engulfed in bed sheets behind the window pane. There was a heavy silence before he spoke again, this time more solemnly. "She lost the baby."

"Oh God." Her whisper was no more than an exhale, her eyes flickered shut with remorse. "Sam-"

"Please, don't." Choking his words out, his jaw clenched angrily. "I can't do this anymore, _we_ can't do this anymore." Breathing out shakily, he looked back in at Emma. "That's my fiancee in there. I didn't even know she was pregnant and when she needed me most, where was I?" He laughed humourlessly. "Having meaningless sex in a school classroom." The air between them became prickly and at an alarming speed.

"Right." The word was uttered quietly but the volume of it's content was loud and resentful. "Say no more." Folding her lips, her temper flared indicating to her that she should leave before an ugly exchange occurred.

"Connie." He winced immediately, not wanting for it to go down the way it had. He felt completely and utterly torn as he watched her disappear out of sight. How could things have become this complicated? And how did he let it get so out of hand? Emma was soon to be his _wife,_ she had just lost a baby he didn't even know she was having yet for the life of him he couldn't shake Connie from his brain. Even now as he looked on at Emma he had this empty husk feeling and it was driving him insane.

For once, she wasn't angry at him. She couldn't be, he'd tried to end this God knows how many times but she wouldn't let him. She allowed this to become a _something_ rather than a _nothing_ and now she was the one suffering the consequences. Her heart felt constricted, tight and uncomfortable as if someone was squeezing it. She was actually _hurting_ over Sam Strachan, never did she imagine this would be happening to her. She'd witnessed it with other women, Chrissie, Faye, Maria and many more names. Now hers could be added to the lengthy list. The dinging of the lift as the doors opened pulled her back to the moment and a single deep breath calibrated her before she stepped out into the ED. There was only one way to deal with her aching and that was to throw herself into work.

* * *

"Don't you think you should be heading home too?" Charlie entered her office cautiously, she'd been in an extremely touchy mood all day lashing out at anyone and everyone. Well, more than usual anyway. It was now approaching 7pm and she was still sat typing at her computer.

"When I've got through all of this, yes." The clicking of her fingers hitting the keys as she typed filled in the silence until Charlie huffed, closing the door and moving further into her office.

"Alright, what's going on with you today?" He awaited a response but he'd be waiting a while. "You've been acting like a hormonal teenager all day, you made Robyn cry." Pausing for a reaction, he only continued on when he didn't receive one. "David spent the afternoon hiding in the chapel, shaking like a leaf." Her hands slowly came to a halt.

"I've had a bad day, okay-"

"No." He interrupted, a disbelieving look on his pink face. "As it goes, it's not okay. You're not the only one in this department that has bad days. You're our clinical lead, Connie." His voice was firm. "You lead by example. I mean, alright you've had a sour day but you don't let that affect how you conduct yourself in here. I thought you of all people would know that." The firmness his tone held slightly crumbled with the latter sentence, he hated getting tough with her. Partially because he knew if she was behaving in such a way, it was nine times out of ten for a very legitimate reason but today she let things get a little too rough on her staff, including himself.

"I'm sorry." She offered the apology with a lack of eye contact but regardless, it was sincere enough for Charlie. "I'll remember to bring a smile in with me tomorrow." Her lips curled into what looked like a small smile as he smiled back at her.

"That's the spirit, now come on, we're heading to the pub for a drink. You should come and join us?"

"No, no." She sank back into her chair. "Not tonight, I'm swamped." Motioning to the papers stacked around her, she moved her gaze back to his understanding face.

"Next time then." He chuckled. "And I'm going to hold you to that."

"I know you will." Her smile pretty much disintegrated as soon as he disappeared and closed the door behind himself. All day her brain had been on the job, working away on patients and procedures but at the back of her mind, niggling away at her last nerve was Sam Strachan. That niggling feeling soon manifested when he entered her office, without knocking.

"Connie, we n-"

"Can this wait?" She cut him off icily. "I have a lot to get on with." Not once glancing at him or even shifting her focus, she continued working. This reception he'd received was obviously one he didn't appreciate, causing him to shut the door briskly and turn to face her again, the hospital noises closed out of the small, dimly-lit room. She'd resorted back to her most relied upon trait, pushing people away in times of her suffering. She was hurting and thus anyone and everyone trying to get too close to her would be kept at arms length.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier." He exhaled slowly and her heart kind of hurt for him. "I didn't intend for it come out the way it did, it was more of a direct dig at myself." Glancing at his feet he moved over to the couch in her office and sat down exhaustedly, leaning as far back into it as possible. She merely studied him as his head dropped back and his eyes stared lazily ahead himself at the ceiling, she had no words to donate to the conversation so far. "My head is a mess." With her lack of contribution to this emotional exchange, the room fell deathly quiet again as she continued to study his dishevelled and fatigued being. The silence became deafening, forcing her to break it.

"How is she?"

"Awake. Upset. Grieving." He closed his eyes, rubbing his hands over his face roughly. "But she's going to be okay." No details were given but she wasn't about to ask either, after all it was none of her business.

"And you?" Her voice added a layer of frost to the words spoken, you could almost feel the coolness radiating off of them. Now that her anger towards herself for having let all of this get so messy had simmered, she felt the fury re-boiling and it was about to be directed 100% at him. She felt vulnerable and exposed, he'd pulled all of these raw emotions and feelings out of her and now he wanted to end it, leaving her high and dry. Wanting him. Maybe that's the part she hated the most? She was so used to being _wanted_ and _desired_ she had no idea how it felt to be in the opposite predicament, she really wasn't enjoying it. She felt weak.

"Me?" He croaked rhetorically. "I should feel sad, remorseful and guilty." Pausing dramatically he sat himself up again, using his elbows to lean on his knees as his head hung in shame. He was avoiding her gaze and she knew it. "But I feel none of those things, in fact it'd be okay if I even felt nothing at all but I don't. You've been at the back of my mind all day and I can't shake you. Isn't that...wrong?" His voice jumped in pitch, almost in shock at his own admission. "My fiancee has is laying in a hospital bed, she's lost our child and all I can think about is you."

"You're not doing this." Folding her lips, she shook her head dramatically. She was smiling slightly but only as a means to stop herself from crying. Getting to her feet she walked past his shocked face and opened the door. "You said everything you needed to say upstairs, this is not happening anymore." Not even looking at him she remained stood at the door, waiting for him to take the cue and leave but he was seated firmly in the chair.

"I'm not going to keep running away from it, Connie." His eyes flicked over to her rigid stance upon hearing her exhale sharply through her nose. Before he could even comprehend what was happening she'd grabbed her coat and handbag with a flared temper.

"Fine, if you won't go then I will." Her sentence was concluded with a panicked gasp, his hand wrapped around her upper arm as he pulled her roughly back into the office and closed the door loudly. She felt so small under his towering and angry frame. He was breathing heavily, his hand pressed up against the closed door to prevent her from trying to leave again.

"No you don't." The words were whispered out, a confused look on his face as he stared down at her. For once he felt like he was in control, but both of them were experiencing a strong deja vu moment. This particular moment they'd both been catapulted back to was a reversed version of this current situation. Before Grace was even born. Connie had slapped Sam during a heated argument before things got steamy in the locker room.

Their breaths were heavy on the air, that paired with the silence ringing in their ears only increased the level of sexual want and need between them. As soon as she dropped her bag and coat on the floor, he dived towards her roughly, his hands planting themselves on her hips as their lips crashed into one another hungrily. Within that mere matter of seconds he'd pushed her up against the door with a strength, removing his left hand from her body to twist the blinds closed, he managed to do it without interrupting their tongue-wrestling embrace. She moaned softly into the kiss, her own hands snaking up to his neck and cupping the sides of his face, she couldn't get enough of him. Using more force he gripped her hips tightly and turned around with her still attached, directing her over to the desk, the scuffling of her heeled shoes was mixed into the sounds of their laboured breathing and soft moans she was struggling to contain. She bit at his lip as he pushed her up against the desk, dangerously close to knocking her computer screen. The kiss was only halted for a fraction of a second as he hoisted her up on to her desktop. Her voice was a mere whisper whilst he let his hands roam up from her hips to her waist before undoing her buttons roughly, revealing her laced bra. He was hard already but that feeling only increased upon the sight he was presented with along with the words uttered into his ear.

"Two desks in two days?" It was a breathy sentence, dripping with lust and it drove him wild. Quickly reinstating the passionate liplock, he yanked the rest of her shirt open sending buttons flying across the room. She gasped sharply at the force but never once broke the kiss, her hands violently tugged at his belt and zipper resting between her parted legs. His right hand moved back down to her hip whilst the left slipped around her bare waist and under the back of her open shirt that was hanging limply on her arms and shoulders. Smoothing his palm over her warm back, he dragged his hand down to her ass, squeezing at it in an undisciplined manner before allowing it to travel to her outer thigh, searching for the end of her skirt. He found it quickly, pushing it up towards her hips to give him access. During his explorative feeling of her body, she'd got the front his pants open and was rubbing sensually at his hardened crotch causing him to lean over her more, her left hand reaching out behind herself to support her weight as he intensified the kiss.

"I forgot my car keys-" The uncompleted sentence sent a ripple of panic across the room, Charlie stood frozen in the doorway as the pair of them scrambled to look decent.

"Oh my god!" Sitting up immediately, she snatched her shirt closed as Sam jumped back a fraction carefully shoving himself back into his trousers with a wince. He remained stood in front of Connie to maintain her privacy as well as his own. She closed her legs and pulled her skirt down ferociously. "Don't you know how to knock?!" She hissed embarrassedly, still shielded by Sam who at this point couldn't even turn to face the veteran nurse as the bulge in his pants was causing him some discomfort. Having fumbled her remaining buttons closed she pushed Sam aside to face an extremely red in the face Charlie. He seemed to be in shock. Slipping off the desk she attempted to straighten up but the damage was done. She glanced at Sam sideways before clocking the keys on the arm of the couch, he must have set them down when he came to chat to her before he headed to the pub. Using her hand to cover her partially bare chest, she moved around Sam and snatched the keys from the arm of the chair. Holding them out for him she kept her eyes low, not actually believing this had just happened. He took them silently, not looking at her either. His eyes flicked to Sam's back before he gazed down at the keys in his hand.

"What you're doing is wrong, you know that, don't y-"

"Go!" She barked before breathing deeply. "Please, Charlie. Just...go." Sam listened carefully, hearing the keys jangling and the slow footsteps leaving before the door closed quietly. As soon as they were alone again, he heard her exhale deeply. "Please, tell me that did not just happen." The hand not covering her modesty came up to massage her temple as she turned to face Sam's back, his answer shedding a bleak light on what the hell just went down.

"That _definitely_ just happened."


	8. Chapter 8

***Thank you all so much for the reviews and support, it all honestly helps so much! Hope you enjoy this next chapter and for those of you unaware, I do have another new fic It's a throwback 'Holby City' fic kind of like series 7-8 time period and Connie centred of course. Enjoy and please review!***

 _"I forgot my car keys-" The uncompleted sentence sent a ripple of panic across the room, Charlie stood frozen in the doorway as the pair of them scrambled to look decent._

 _"Oh my god!" Sitting up immediately, she snatched her shirt closed as Sam jumped back a fraction carefully shoving himself back into his trousers with a wince. He remained stood in front of Connie to maintain her privacy as well as his own. She closed her legs and pulled her skirt down ferociously. "Don't you know how to knock?!" She hissed embarrassedly, still shielded by Sam who at this point couldn't even turn to face the veteran nurse as the bulge in his pants was causing him some discomfort. Having fumbled her remaining buttons closed she pushed Sam aside to face an extremely red in the face Charlie. He seemed to be in shock. Slipping off the desk she attempted to straighten up but the damage was done. She glanced at Sam sideways before clocking the keys on the arm of the couch, he must have set them down when he came to chat to her before he headed to the pub. Using her hand to cover her partially bare chest, she moved around Sam and snatched the keys from the arm of the chair. Holding them out for him she kept her eyes low, not actually believing this had just happened. He took them silently, not looking at her either. His eyes flicked to Sam's back before he gazed down at the keys in his hand._

 _"What you're doing is wrong, you know that, don't y-"_

 _"Go!" She barked before breathing deeply. "Please, Charlie. Just...go." Sam listened carefully, hearing the keys jangling and the slow footsteps leaving before the door closed quietly. As soon as they were alone again, he heard her exhale deeply. "Please, tell me that did not just happen." The hand not covering her modesty came up to massage her temple as she turned to face Sam's back, his answer shedding a bleak light on what the hell just went down._

 _"That definitely just happened."_

"So you thought to close the blinds but not the door?" She spoke lowly whilst pointlessly trying to fasten her ruined shirt. That was her favourite shirt. Although, every time she wore it there seemed to be bad luck surrounding her. Perhaps it was the polka-dots attracting bad karma?

"Sorry, I was a little distracted." He bit back, standing in a position that eased his current discomfort. Turning around to gaze at him she couldn't help but feel a little bad, he still had his back to her.

"Grace is at Hugo's for the night." Her voice trailed off, leaving the sentence to be interpreted as an invitation to continue what they'd started somewhere they couldn't be interrupted.

"I can't just leave Emma here, it doesn't feel right." Sighing heavily, he finally turned around to look at her. "I _am_ serious about this though, about you and me. I wouldn't just risk everything-"

"For _meaningless sex_ with your ex?" She quoted the words he'd spoken earlier, causing him to roll his eyes. He knew when he said it that he was never going to live that down.

"You're not my _ex_ and what I said earlier, I didn't mean it." Pausing thoughtfully he locked eyes with her. She'd never looked so vulnerable before. "I was angry and a little bit confused if I'm being honest." Trying to re-adjust his trousers, he winced slightly at the sensation. "I'll come over to yours tonight, I'll sit with Emma for a while first." He felt utterly gross about all of this. How did he manage in his younger years cheating on all the women he'd dated? And Emma? What was he going to tell her when the time came? His brain was vibrating.

"Perhaps you should go and deal with _that_ first?" Her eyes flickered down to his crotch, the tiniest smile threatening to grace her face but she managed to restrain it.

"It's first on my list."

"Or." She started talking, moving over to him slowly. "We could _actually_ lock the door this time and finish what you started?" She finally halted in front of him with less than a centimetre between them, his breaths were heavy becoming slightly more erratic when he felt her hand smoothing over his zipper again.

"Connie-"

Her mouth cut him off as it re-connected with his, their tongues once again becoming reacquainted. This time she was in control, grabbing his tie she pulled it down towards her and in effect lowering him making it easier to reach into the passionate kiss. Her hand continued to stroke at him, pressing her front up against his desperately until he pulled away breathlessly.

"The door." Escaping as nothing more than a whisper, he reignited the lip-lock as soon as the word was out once again grabbing her hips and pushing her back forcefully until she hit the door, locking it swiftly. It was as if the sound of it locking was a reassurance, allowing himself to fully get back into the moment and forget the fact that Charlie very almost witnessed them having sex. Trapped between Sam and the door, she let his hands roam up from her hips to her ribs as he tore at her shirt again. It wouldn't survive this round, it had already lost the majority of it's buttons but right now she couldn't care less. Moaning moderately loudly into the kiss she frantically pulled at his belt and trouser zipper again, both of her hands working together as his moved up over her front grabbing at her breasts. Finally pulling him all the way out of his pants, he let a slight groan out causing her to smile into the kiss before the feeling became to much for him. Perhaps it was the act of almost getting caught but he was so turned on, supercharged. Breaking the kiss he moved his mouth down to the left side of her neck, sucking and biting at it.

This time, they definitely finished what they'd started.

* * *

She waited and waited and waited. This was a humiliation to her, she _hated_ being made to look a fool. _Nobody_ made Connie Beauchamp look foolish and got away with it. Not even Sam Strachan. It was 11:47pm and there was still no sign of him, of course she understood the delicacy of this situation but where was the consideration? Why not just tell her upfront that he wouldn't be showing up? Her thoughts bubbled angrily and finally tipping over the edge, she marched through her hallway, locking the front door in a temper before taking the stairs ferociously. Fuck him.

She could feel her face scowling whilst she lay trying to let sleep find her, perhaps this was a blessing in disguise? Maybe this is what it would _always_ be like to be with him in more than just a sexual relationship? Could she really cope with this? Her brows twitched as her mind raced with a thousand and one questions. But thinking about this from a different angle raised other questions, like when she tried to imagine her life without him in it at all she felt empty. Even trying to imagine never sleeping with him again brought on a rush of negative thoughts. But perhaps it was just all imagination, in her mind she had Christmas playing in her head as being the three of them living happily but in all reality it wouldn't change that much. They both worked full time and ridiculous hours at that, Sam had a huge family that would be in the picture all the time too and it honestly wasn't an accurate image to have pinned on the wall of her brain. It was never going to manifest, it'd _never_ be like that perfect image in her thoughts.

The doorbell awoke her the next morning, before her alarm even went off. She couldn't even recall falling asleep. If this was Sam _finally_ showing up, she was about to slam the door back in his face as hard as she could. Huffing aggressively, she pulled her dressing gown shut with a sharp pull and opened the door,

"Sorry, mum." Grace blurted and dived inside out of the cold and rain. "I forgot my keys."

"I know." She smiled as she closed the door again. "I found them on the kitchen table." Raising her eyebrow at her young daughter the stern face turned into a small smile. "I'm taking you to school today, your dad's still at the hospital." Grace bolted up the stairs as she listened. "At least I think he is, how would I know?" Muttering to herself as soon as Grace was out of earshot she made herself a coffee before getting ready for work herself. Her cheeks blushed instantly upon looking in the mirror and seeing the lovebite on her neck, instantly being reminded that Charlie had witnessed the start of their sexcapade last night.

Today was going to be cringeworthy to say the least.

* * *

"Almost didn't recognise you with your clothes on." His deep, elderly voice made her whole body convulse with embarrassment. As soon as he closed the door, she blinked slowly, afraid to re-open her eyes and look at him. Licking her lips, she took a deep breath before glancing at him sheepishly.

"Charlie-"

"I never had you down as the type to be the _other woman_." He blinked sadly, looking down at his shoes now rather than her face. "From what I've heard, you didn't have the most faithful of husbands, and to be honest it just doesn't seem like _you._ " His expression was one of pure confusion. "You settle for nothing but the best of everything but you'll happily sink that low? It's beneath you, Connie."

"Look." She began, becoming slightly enraged at this judgement seminar happening in her office. "I don't really need _you,_ or anybody else for that matter, coming into _my_ office and lecturing _me_ about what and _who_ I should be doing. That is _my_ business and _mine_ only."

"But it's not though, is it?" He continued, causing her anger to spike. "It's Sam's business, it's Emma's business, it's Grace's business. All of these people are factored into this, all of these people with be affected by your actions in the end because god knows, you can't keep secrets like this. They all come out in the end."

"Are you quite finished?" Asking abruptly, she just got a stony stare from him in response. "We both have jobs to do, and if you're finished counselling me on my decision making abilities, I'd like to get on with mine."

He left without another word but she could see him shaking his head as he walked away. She loved him, of course she did but sometimes she felt like her business wasn't her own where charlie was concerned. He was always muscling in and trying to help. Sighing deeply, with a hint of frustration, she knuckled down to work in attempt to forget about this embarrassing chapter in her life.

It was 1:17pm when he _finally_ contacted her and via _text_ just to add insult to injury. She hissed after reading it, marching towards resus. He wanted to meet for coffee in half an hour. Maybe she should stand him up, the same way he stood her up last night?

"Mrs Beauchamp, can I get some help over here?" Alicia flagged her down upon hearing the doors bust open the way they did, she knew it must have been Connie.

"Alright, what have we got?" Not yet glancing at the patient, she grabbed the notes and began flicking through them.

"I don't actually know." She struggled to speak as she wrestled with the distressed man's flailing arms. "I don't think he speaks English but from what I can gather, he was in a car accident. He left the scene and was found walking on the motorway in a confused state. I think we need to get translator in, I can't quite pin what language he's speaking though and there were no documents found on him." Finally managing to get him to relax, she breathed heavily and looked to Connie who was still reading the brief ambulance notes before gazing back at the patient. "Can we get his face cleaned up please? It's a lot blood, let's get him feeling a little more comfortable." Her Geordie accent made everything sound so poetic. Finally settling her eyes upon the patient Connie's blood ran cool, her expression dropping as Alicia watched her move closer to the bloodied up man.

"We won't need a translator." She whispered it so lightly, Alicia had to lean in and she _still_ missed what she said.

"Sorry?"

"He's Romanian." Standing upright quickly, she slammed the briefing notes closed. "He's trying to fool you, he can speak English." Turning her focus back to his face, she could see in his eyes that he'd finally recognised her in his delirious state. "Isn't that right, Alex?"

* * *

Her mind was reeling. How and why was he here? Upon knowing it was him she concluded he hadn't been in a car accident. But it was far too much of a coincidence for him to be _here_ in Holby, in the very hospital she worked at. No way was this an accident.

"I thought you weren't going to show up?" Sam's voice startled her from her Romanian memories. "When you didn't reply I just assumed you were angry."

"Oh I'm angry, don't be mistaken." She growled viciously as he took the seat opposite her. They were in a cafe a couple of streets away from the hospital to maintain some privacy.

"Look, Connie-"

"I don't want to hear it, Sam." She cut him off. "I think it's best if we just call this what it is and say it's over." His lack of response surprised her. She was half expecting him to argue but he was silent. Once again she was feeling foolish at the hands of Sam Strachan. "Right, well this was fun but I have to get back to work." Huffing irately she moved to stand up with her takeout cup but he grabbed her forearm softly.

"Wait!" Please, can't we talk about this?"

"I have nothing to say-"

"But _I_ do." His hopes were all piled into one basket as he studied her glancing around the cafe before rolling her eyes and dropping back into her seat without a word. "Emma didn't lose the baby." That one sentence felt as though it had stopped her heart from beating, the confused look on her face invited him to explain. "They thought she had because of the bleed and then they couldn't find a heart beat but they did another ultrasound last night, she was in pain, and there it was. A little heartbeat." He had that whimsical, emotional look on his face. The same one as when he'd seen Grace's 12 week ultrasound photo. Her stomach dropped.

That's when it hit her. _That_ feeling was the one that made her realise she wanted him all to herself. She wanted to be with him and only him.

She loved him.


	9. Chapter 9

***Thanks so much for your patience again, I'm struggling with this one! I think because initially it was only supposed to be a few kinky chapters (as that's what people had requested!) but now it's turning into this story. Regardless, thank you to those who leave reviews, I really appreciate it and honestly you're the only reason I continue to update as it's rewarding to see positive feedback you leave and also helps me improve if you make suggestions as well. So, THANK YOU! Anyway, i hope you enjoy this next chapter, please review! XX***

 _Her mind was reeling. How and why was he here? Upon knowing it was him she concluded he hadn't been in a car accident. But it was far too much of a coincidence for him to be here in Holby, in the very hospital she worked at. No way was this an accident._

 _"I thought you weren't going to show up?" Sam's voice startled her from her Romanian memories. "When you didn't reply I just assumed you were angry."_

 _"Oh I'm angry, don't be mistaken." She growled viciously as he took the seat opposite her. They were in a cafe a couple of streets away from the hospital to maintain some privacy._

 _"Look, Connie-"_

 _"I don't want to hear it, Sam." She cut him off. "I think it's best if we just call this what it is and say it's over." His lack of response surprised her. She was half expecting him to argue but he was silent. Once again she was feeling foolish at the hands of Sam Strachan. "Right, well this was fun but I have to get back to work." Huffing irately she moved to stand up with her takeout cup but he grabbed her forearm softly._

 _"Wait!" Please, can't we talk about this?"_

 _"I have nothing to say-"_

 _"But I do." His hopes were all piled into one basket as he studied her glancing around the cafe before rolling her eyes and dropping back into her seat without a word. "Emma didn't lose the baby." That one sentence felt as though it had stopped her heart from beating, the confused look on her face invited him to explain. "They thought she had because of the bleed and then they couldn't find a heart beat but they did another ultrasound last night, she was in pain, and there it was. A little heartbeat." He had that whimsical, emotional look on his face. The same one as when he'd seen Grace's 12 week ultrasound photo. Her stomach dropped._

 _That's when it hit her. That feeling was the one that made her realise she wanted him all to herself. She wanted to be with him and only him._

 _She loved him._

The space around them was still, silent. Almost unreal. Well, Connie _hoped_ it wasn't real but his sharp inhalation of air brought her back to this horrifying moment. He'd been waiting in agony for her to say something, anything, but she appeared frozen.

"Connie, please say something." He breathed out painfully, he was so confused about everything at the moment. Particularly Connie.

"Right." Starting slowly, she kept her face stoic and her voice cold. "Well, congratulations." She stood up once again, the chair legs making an unbearable sound on the cafe floor. "Give my best to Emma won't you." Her eyes avoided his at all cost, and her hand shied away from his as he tried to grab hold of it.

"Connie, please-"

"No, I have to go, sorry." she swiped her bag from the table top and left as quickly and as calmly as she could. She was sick to _death_ with this repetitive cycle of W _ill we? Won't we?_ they'd gotten themselves into. Connie was a player, no doubt about it but when her feelings were getting all muddled into this as well it wasn't quite so much fun. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed by a giant hand, even as she made it out on to the street and the cold air hit her before she had chance to secure her scarf, she was still constricted in the chest.

He knew he'd blown it. There was no coming back from this, and if there was even the slightest possibility of her coming around it was going to take a long time and a lot of work. Maybe this was a good thing? He had chance to think and mull things over because God knows, this baby changed everything.

* * *

"Mum?" She called out for a third time trying to get her attention. She'd been stood at the kitchen sink, coffee in hand as she stared pointlessly out of the window into the back garden. It was the following Monday, the weekend had been a drag and in all honesty she was glad she was headed to school for the day. Between her Dad's absence as he sat at Emma's bedside and her Mother's even stranger than usual mood she couldn't wait to get away.

"Hm?" She turned suddenly, spilling coffee down her white shirt.

"I said I'm going now..." She trailed off, a worried look painted across her face. "Are you okay, Mum? You've been acting _really_ weird."

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." she forced a smile and sat her mug down as she began wiping pointlessly at her stained shirt. "Go on, you're going to be late. And Hugo's dad's still bringing you home?"

"Yeah, we're getting pizza." She grinned and shimmied her school bag on. "Can I go and see Emma tonight? Dad texted, he said she's awake and feeling better."

"We'll see." Her smile was a little obvious in it's false nature this time, even to Grace. "If you're back before six, then yes."

"Thanks, Mum!" With her final sentence, she headed for the door. As soon as Connie heard it close, she dropped the fake smile and turned to face the sink again. Suddenly enraged with her stained blouse. That wasn't the real reason for her anger though, she knew it was her frustration with Sam being channelled into every minor inconvenience she'd had all weekend. Poor Grace had been witness to most of her temper tantrums and although she was conscious of the fact, she couldn't stop herself. As she scrubbed angrily at her front with a cloth, her breath hitched with momentary fright. His warm hands snaked around her middle from behind.

"You should let me help you with that." The words grew louder as he moved in closer to her, his lips now resting next to her left ear, his front fully pressed up against her back.

"I'm late for work." moving out of his uninvited embrace she tilted her neck to the right, immediately detaching his lips from her neck. She felt cold out of his arms but in the daylight she couldn't do it. He wasn't Sam. He didn't feel like Sam, didn't look like Sam and he didn't smell like Sam.

"Connie-"

"No, Alex." Her voice was raised but she paused to control herself. "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have come here and I shouldn't have let you stay the night." Her eyes finally found his. He was still bloodied up and bruised. Technically he should still be in hospital but he'd discharged himself. She still had no idea why he was here and what had happened to him.

"And we shouldn't have had sex, no?" The Romanian accent sang through his words, a smile marking his mouth.

"And we definitely shouldn't have had sex." Her tone was stern and there was a matter of fact lilt to her voice causing his smile to fade slowly.

"I see." There was a silence between them until she broke it eagerly, not particularly enjoying the uncomfortable quietness.

"I best be off, feel free to use the shower and get some food. Just lock the door behind you, leave the key under the plant pot outside." Spitting her words out quickly, she kept her eyes low and grabbed her keys and bag. In her flurry to leave, she left her coffee stained shirt on and headed to work.

The drive there was a blur, in fact upon arriving she couldn't actually recall the journey. All she knew was she was now in her office, stood at the small wardrobe in the corner looking for a fresh blouse. She always had spares on hand, more so for bloody accidents at work, not beverage marks caused by her own hand. Shrugging out of her shirt she felt the cool air hit her back, she almost had a feeling he would approach now and she couldn't have been more correct.

"Connie-" His sentence was spoken as he pushed her office door open, no knock to warn her as per usual.

"For _God's_ sake, Sam." She huffed, her back still facing him as she ripped the shirt on quickly. In hindsight, she had no idea why she was rushing to cover up like he hadn't seen her topless before. Part of the reason she felt was spite perhaps? If he was choosing his fiancee and unborn child over her then he wouldn't have the privilege of seeing any part of her body that nobody else gets to see.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I should have knocked-"

"You've had thirteen years of _I should have knocked,_ I think that excuse has been well over used now, don't you?"

"You're angry." He stated confidently, folding his lips before turning around to check nobody was watching as he closed the door. The privacy of her office concealing their delicate conversation.

"I'm not angry, Sam." Sighing irately, she moved to her desk and sat down. "What do you want?"

"It's Grace, she wants to visit Emma tonight." He stopped, she felt there was more coming but he was anticipating her interrupting. She remained silent allowing him to continue. "She's past the 12 week mark now, so-"

"You want to tell Grace."

"I mean, she's going to start showing soon so I figured it'd be better to tell her, be upfront."

"Fine." She wrangled her lips into a sorry attempt at a smile but the rest of her face showed suppressed anger. "She'll be at Hugo's and I'm busy tonight, so you'll have to pick-"

"Pick her up and drop her home, of course." He gushed excitedly. "That's fine-"

"Was there something else?" She cut him off sharply, giving him a clear indication that she was pissed.

"No, but I was hoping we could talk-"

"I'm busy, it'll have to wait." The noise of her papers being shuffled around slightly masked her voice but he heard loud and clear. "Close the door on your way out."

He could do nothing but sigh hopelessly. He felt so conflicted. He felt something for Connie, there was a spark there and not just an ordinary spark if there was such a thing. It was different and every part of him was signalling for him to go to her but now Emma and the baby? He couldn't turn his back on that, not only for the feeling of guilt but for the fear of being kept out of his child's life, again. At least he was in touch with Kieron now and Connie had come around with Grace when she was younger so he actually got to experience her childhood. He wasn't going to risk being shut out of another child's life. Not for anyone. His feelings for Connie were overshadowing the feelings he had or perhaps once had for Emma. That's when it registered with him, had there been no baby he could have walked away from Emma. Would a child really keep him with her?

He'd done as she'd asked. The door was closed delicately behind himself. Her mind had gone from being frazzled with anger and rage, blurring out the day's details to feeling foggy and like she was on the outside looking in. Sam was starting another family, separate to herself and Grace. It felt horrible. She always had that comfort of knowing he was always there, always available and strangely a part of _her_ family too but this baby changed all of that. It altered the dynamic of their strange and dysfunctional family. It took him away from her and she couldn't help but feel angry at herself too for not acting on her feelings sooner. They'd obviously always been there, just buried beneath her cool exterior. Either way, her brain ached with thought and her heart felt heavy.

* * *

Being winter, it was dark by five in the evening but it matched well with her depressive mood so she couldn't argue. Taking the steps to her front door slowly, she readied her house-key but pulled away from the door gently. She didn't even have to think about it. She grabbed the cold handle and opened it, still unlocked from this morning. Moving inside to the warmth she set her keys and bag down, shrugging out of her coat and scarf as she made her way into the kitchen, speaking as she neared the doorway.

"You don't think you've overstayed your welcome?" Her eyes landed on his frame, he was stood over the cooker top making what she guessed was dinner for the both of them.

"How did you know I was still here?" He smiled over his shoulder.

"I knew you wouldn't leave. You've got nowhere else to go and you're a long way from home." She glanced down at her shoes. "What are you doing here, Alex?"

"Well." He began, turning his attention back to the frying pan as it hissed and sizzled between their exchange of sentences. "A familiar face invited me-"

"Not here in my house, I mean _here_ in the UK, in _Holby_ of all places."

"You left your ID in my bedroom."

"So you followed me here?"

"I never stopped thinking about you after you left, Connie. I couldn't stop, I didn't want to stop."

"No, no, no." She put her hands up, attempting to stop him from speaking. "We're not doing this, not here, not now."

"I know there's someone else." His voice was so soothing, so calming and she couldn't lie, the food he was preparing smelled amazing. "I'm not asking you to drop everything for me. I know I'm not a good person, Connie. Just give me tonight with you, then I leave and go back to Romania."

"Alex-" The apprehensive notes in her voice was audible but he silenced her quickly.

"Please, just have dinner with me before I go?"

She couldn't be bothered to argue and dinner sounded good since she hadn't eaten all day. In addition to his home-cooked food, there was wine and a few glasses at that. She needed to unwind after today. Her body felt tense and ropey but the meal, wine and light conversation were helping. They were melted into the settee in front of the crackling fire talking lowly.

"Where will you go?"

"Me? Ah you know." He smiled. "Back to Romania of course, but no more bad behaviour for me." Laughing slightly he looked down at his glass and finished the last mouthful. "Straight and narrow from now on, I promise."

"Good." It came out as a whisper, the alcohol was making her feel more relaxed than she had in a while.

"And you? What will you do about your mystery man?"

"Keep him a mystery." She shut down his sentence kindly, she didn't want Sam in her thoughts at all, he'd been on her mind for far too long. Silence fell upon them again but it was comfortable this time, unlike this morning and before she could acknowledge it, his hand was brushing up against her thigh soothingly. Her sober instinct was to push it away but what the hell? Sam was off playing happy families with his fiancee, Grace and an unborn child, she wasn't in the picture any more so why shouldn't she get some attention? In a split second action she moved her hand down to his, it looked to him as though she was going to reject him too but instead she settled her hand atop of his and encouraged him, sliding his palm further up her leg.

"You're sure?"

"Positive." Breathing the answer seductively, she leant forward mirroring him as they sat the glasses on the coffee table and moved into one another. His hands roamed up her arms, to her neck and to the sides of her face cupping at her delicately as his lips finally made contact with hers. She could taste the wine on him as she allowed her own hands to move towards his belt buckle. Their movements were slow, almost delayed by the alcohol and her consideration for his wounded body but regardless she wanted it and so did he. He intensified the kiss upon feeling where she was going already, there was no foreplay unlike last night. She wanted to get straight to it and he wasn't about to discourage her. Finally pulling the belt from it's loops, she got his zipper down, snaking her hands up to his pecs she pushed at him firmly, making him sit back into the settee as she straddled him. The kiss never slowing in it's pace, only coming to a halt when she broke away for air as she hovered above him. Her eyes were dark with lust and reflecting back at her in the light of the fire were his, they were just as lustful. Reinitiating the kiss he took his chance to start unbuttoning her blouse and she began rocking on him slowly, both still clothed on their lower halves she was teasing him awfully. Grinding on the growing bulge between his legs she could feel his breath altering with each buck of her hips against his. He wasn't Sam but he still had the right parts to please her tonight.

* * *

"Dad, I've got it, I'm fine." She laughed at him fussing. Along with her school bag, P.E kit and violin she was struggling to get out of the car until he jumped out to help.

"Got everything?" He looked down at her, holding the car door open as she clambered out.

"Yeah, I think so." Hoisting her bag on to her back she picked up her violin and P.E bag from the floor.

"And you're okay with everything that happened tonight, with Emma I mean?"

"Dad, I've always wanted a brother or sister! This has been the best news ever!" She beamed happily and he felt his heart gush. Tonight couldn't have gone any better than it did. Now all he had to do was focus on what he was going to do about Connie. He rattled his brain back to the moment and closed the passenger seat door. "You coming in?"

"No, no I've got to get back, Emma's coming home tomorrow. I've got some tidying to do." He laughed as she headed towards the house, the wind whipping at her long hair wildly. His mind and body soon became oblivious to the harsh outdoor elements as his eyes landed on them through the window. His throat dried instantly at the sight of her on another man like that, topless and riding him. What the _hell_ was she doing? His body was jolted back into reality quickly when he heard grace put her instrument case down to get the door handle. "Grace!" Jogging up behind her he tried to mask his fury. "Here I'll give you a hand, take these straight upstairs, I want to speak to your Mother."

"My _Mother?"_ She looked at him weirdly and laughed but her cheery expression died quickly when she caught a glimpse of his flared nostrils. "Dad?"

"Just do as I say please, Grace." She knew when to joke around with him but she also knew when to obey his commands and this was one of those times but she had no idea what made his mood change so fast, he was acting like her mum. Everyone was being so _weird_ at the moment. "Go on." He urged upon opening the door quietly. "Take those upstairs, now." She didn't question him and did as he asked. She was over everyones mood swings, staying up in her room sounded like a good idea to her anyway. He let her get to the top of the stairs before tearing the living room door open. The pair were both shocked and horrified at the interruption.

"Sam!" She gasped, wrapping her blouse around her braless torso, dismounting Alex as Gracefully as she could. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?!" Getting to her feet, gravity helped her out allowing her skirt to drop naturally whilst Alex jumped up and shoved himself back into his jeans. They looked like a pair of horny teenagers who had been caught screwing by the parents they were babysitting for. Once again she was trying her hardest to cover herself like he hadn't seen or touched any part of her body before.

"Mystery man?" Alex asked breathlessly, her lipstick still staining his mouth. She ignored him, livid that Sam had the audacity to let himself in unannounced the way he had.

"Get dressed." He spat with disgust. "I want to speak to you, in the kitchen." He let his eyes wander over to Alex. He had no idea who he was but he looked a bit worse for wear. Bruises, cuts and stitches marking his face and chest. Giving them both a revolted look he left the room. Connie was completely lost for words. Initially it was shock but now she was experiencing an anger she'd never felt before.

"Connie, I'm sorry." He spoke sincerely and tried to grab her hand but she snatched it away from him.

"Please, just go." Not another word was spoken, he'd arrived in Holby with nothing but the clothes on his back and he left the same way. She waited until she heard the front door click behind him before fastening her shirt, she was so angry she buttoned it up all wrong but she couldn't contain the fury that was bubbling within her. She entered the kitchen like a hurricane.

"How _dare_ you!" She barked.

"No! How dare _you!"_ Hitting back with just as much rage, he slammed his fist down on to her kitchen table. "I have put _everything_ on the line for you! _Everything!_ And this is how you act?! Who was he? Hm? Did you pick him up off the street or what, Connie?! What, was this supposed to be payback or something?!"

"You and I are _finished,_ Sam! In fact, we never even _started!_ So don't you dare lecture me on who I can and can't sleep with because that is _nothing_ to do with you! You lost that right when you picked Emma!"

"I never said I had picked Emma!" He yelled loudly, his face reddened with outrage and the veins in his neck throbbing. "You wouldn't let me speak! I tried to explain to you not once but twice and as always you wouldn't have it! _You_ decided that I'd picked Emma and shut me out just like you do to _everyone_ around you!"

"Oh please!" She scoffed, leaning back on one foot. "You don't have the _balls_ to end it with her! Not if it means jeopardising the chance to raise your third child, but that's where you make your mistake, you don't _fight_ hard enough! You let people walk all over you like a _doormat!_ I mean, for God's sake Sam grow up!"

"People like you, you mean?! Because I've had over 12 years of it and I am _done!"_ His voice still held a shaky anger but his voice was lowered considerably, both of them had forgotten Grace was upstairs and no doubt had heard every word of their volatile argument. "So, go ahead." He breathed, moving close to her. "Fuck whoever you want to, so long as it's not me."


	10. Chapter 10

***Thanks so much to those of you who take the time to review, it's extremely appreciated. As per the poll on twitter, I'm trying to make this fic a little more serious in story-line as opposed to pure kinky trash. Having said that, this fic was intended to be just that so I'll try to maintain some of it's initial qualities. Enjoy this next chapter and please review :-) XX***

The next couple of days were fraught with tension, and not the usual sexually charged tension and spark that sizzled between them. This was a dark, cloudy fog that neither could feel lifting any time in the near future. Those closest to them were beginning to pick up on the hostility in their brief interactions both at work and outside of work too. It didn't help that Emma had been discharged and since she'd hit the twelve week mark the couple were gleefully announcing the news of their unborn child to everyone, much to Connie's dismay. Although she was angry and hurt at what had happened she couldn't help but feel a little relieved that they were having a breather from one another. Honestly, she wasn't surprised either. Not at her relief but more so the fact that Sam had run straight back to Emma at the discovery of her pregnancy, once again yet another man in her life had let her down. They say every girl should be able to depend on her Father but that was never the case for Connie. Or with any other man in her life so it would seem. With the exception of her dear Friend Elliot and maybe even Charlie, every man that had entered her life had caused her grief, suffering and ultimately the pain of a broken heart.

"Have you got everything?" Glancing across the passenger seat, she skimmed her eyes over Grace's over night bags. She was at Sam's for the weekend and the normal ritual would be to help her carry her bag to the door and see her inside but for the sake of her aching heart and partially her ego too, she was waving her off from the car.

"Yeah, thanks Mum." Closing the door with a smile, she gave her a sweet wave before letting herself inside. Sam had already beaten her to it, opening the door for her before she even got to the handle. She felt her eyes roll heavily when she saw him approaching her car. Tapping on the window he waited for her to wind it down. Part of her wanted to drive off without even looking at him but a part of her, the soft part, wanted to know what he had to say.

"Is this what it's going to be like from now on?" He was calm and collected, the polar opposite to how he'd behaved nights earlier when he caught her screwing her Romanian hunk.

"Like what?" She questioned icily. Not giving him the satisfaction of eye contact, she kept her gaze fixed ahead, her hands planted firmly on the wheel and ready to leave.

"This." He motioned the space between them. "The not talking thing, Connie. It's going to get really old, really quick. Grace has already been asking what's wrong with us."

"I don't have anything to say to you, nothing kind anyway." He rolled his eyes at her response, his fingers drumming on the roof of her car as he leant on it firmly.

"Fine. Suit yourself." Scoffing lightly, he pushed himself away from the car, shaking his head as he headed back inside. A small piece of him wanted to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness because he _knew_ what he was doing was shitty and awful but the other part of him wanted to cut all ties with her so that he could be a father to this child properly, unlike he was able to do with Kieron and Grace. He couldn't do that if he was fucking around with Connie. But he also couldn't ignore the feeling in his heart for too long, it'd come flooding out sooner or later whether he liked it or not.

The rest of the day seemed to speed by as if someone had put it on fast forward, it was evening again in the flash of a moment both of their minds wandering wildly back to old times, some good, some bad and some so steamy they could each feel their breath quicken at the mere memory. As cliche as it sounds, they were almost on the same brain channel at the same time in their separate houses. Connie was lathered up in the tub, trying to make use of her alone time with a relaxing bubble bath accompanied by fine red wine and some deliciously scented candles. And across town, Sam was slumped in front of the TV, an action movie playing before him but he was so deep in thought he couldn't tell you what film it was or who starred in it. Grace and Emma had been in bed for over an hour now like he should have been but instead, he was years deep in a reminiscent evening dream. He couldn't help but close his eyes, allowing the memories to take over his mind and senses. A small smile etched on to his face as he pictured it clearly, almost feeling everything he'd felt that night.

 _Her hands were planted firmly on his bare chest, holding herself up as she rolled her hips sensually. She'd changed things up a fraction, having finally got him on to his back, their positions had switched giving them both a new form of pleasure. His hands wandered up her thighs, panting deeply before finally reaching her hips and gripping them firmly. His palms were hot on her skin, squeezing at her hungrily he managed to force a moan from her lips. Her breathing was almost as erratic as his, her movements becoming quicker as she began working towards her second climax of the night. The bedsheets were a tangled mess beneath them, the urgency to get down to the the act saw them stripping off as soon as they'd entered her house, picking up where they'd left off in the locker room that afternoon._

 _They'd began their evening of torrid sex roughly and urgently, their tongues wrestling as they tore off every item of clothing, desperate to explore one another's bodies for the first time. Leading the way, Connie walked backwards in the direction of her bedroom, her shirt and bra already littered on the landing at the top of the stairs. Both were fighting for air as they kissed passionately. He was moving quickly in the removal of her attire, leaving her with some catching up to do but she soon came level when his shirt hit the carpet by their feet. Next came the kicking off of their shoes before each started working on the lower halves. Breaking the kiss suddenly, Sam backed her up to the edge of the bed, pushing her down before pulling her skirt off as she roughly snatched his belt from it's loops and worked at his zipper ravenously. Finally it was skin on skin, no fabric between them. Scooting backwards into the centre of the bed, the kiss was reinitiated by both of them, allowing their tongues to fight one another for dominance. Pushing her back down again, he hovered over her breaking the kiss once more to take in her sexual beauty. The coolness of the sheets on her back as she lay down was slightly refreshing, the air around them was hot, dripping with want and desire. Reconnecting their tongues, she startled herself with the sound of her own moans into his mouth as he remained loitering above her. Slowly, he lowered himself down, teasing her as he went from resting on his hands either side of her ribcage to his elbows. With his torso coming into contact with hers he couldn't stifle his own gasp upon feeling her hardened nipples grazing at his chest. Her own hands had snaked down his sides, feeling up and down his skin, delicately raking her nails over him before coming to rest on his hips. Parting and raising her legs, she allowed her feet to plant themselves on the sheets too. Her movement was a discreet invitation for him to rest between her spread legs, one which he took gladly._

 _"Mmmmm." She hummed loudly into the lip-lock, her brows knitting together at the feeling of him entering her. Upon doing so, he concluded the kiss, letting a moan escape his own mouth as she bit at his bottom lip. She felt so good it took him a moment to get to it. Bucking his hips slowly at first, he revelled in her vocality. Her right leg coming up immediately, wrapping around his lower back, forcing him to go deeper._

 _"Oh god." He panted loudly at the sensation, unable to keep his mouth from her body he moved his lips to the left side of her neck, licking, sucking and nipping at her skin as he continued to roll his hips into her, the movement gaining speed as she hardened her grip on his sides, sliding her palms up a fraction before digging her nails into his back, the pleasure becoming too much._

 _"Yesssss." Hissing with gratification, her left leg raised to mirror her right, wrapping around his lower back too. "Harder." Her words were short, whispered and consumed with desire, driving him insane in conjunction with the tight grip her legs had on him. Leaning his body weight all on to the left elbow and forearm along side her torso, he freed up his right hand to grab at her hip forcefully before gliding his fingers up the back of her left thigh that was gripping at him tightly. Finally reaching the back of her knee he wrapped his hand around the lowest part of her femur, pushing it up assertively. Her flexibility shocked him slightly, her knee almost coming into contact with her left shoulder as he obeyed her wishes, both quickening his pace and thrusting harder. "Ah! Oh my god, yesss!" Clenching her jaw, she growled through gritted teeth as he sped up his movement, grunting with satisfaction before once again re-familiarising his tongue with the inside of her mouth, her nails piercing further into his flesh as her breath quickened, becoming erratic and stilted throughout the kiss. He couldn't suppress his own pleasure, feeling her nearing her orgasm beneath him he groaned loudly, their vocals harmonising on the thick, sex tainted air around them. Breaking away from their lip-lock he pulled away on purpose to control himself but also to witness her as she peaked in record breaking time, and my was it a sight. He could feel her trembling, the aftershocks of her climax still rippling through her. Her legs had loosened considerably around his lower back, his movements at a standstill whilst she rode out the wave of pure rapture. Her eyes had rolled back at the sensation, her brows furrowed deeply but now she looked placid, content but still laboured in her breathing. Opening her eyes slowly, there was a devilish look on her face and before he knew it she'd rolled them over without disconnecting him from her, her body still heaving for breath as she settled herself atop him. Her mouth gaped with lust, his expression matching hers as he allowed his eyes to roam over her body. The window behind him was the perfect frame for the moon, letting in enough light to marvel at her physique yet still dark enough to set such a mood. Slowly starting to rock on him, he could see every part of her body in the light of the moon, every reaction she experienced as a result of their sexual encounter could be witnessed from this new position. Needing some sort of leverage, she leant further over him, her hands moving to his chest as she rested herself on him, granting her more access to grind on him agonisingly slowly. The growl emitted from his throat drew a mewl from her too, her eyes low with undisguised ardour._

"Sam." His brow furrowed at the voice. "Sam." And again. "Sam!" Jolting violently from his slumber he blinked rapidly, attempting to establish his surroundings. The TV still on, the credits of the film rolling as Emma hovered over him. "Sam, you were asleep." She smiled at his confused face, although she wouldn't be smiling so sweetly had she known what was going on inside his head and what she'd so rudely interrupted. "It's almost midnight, when are you coming to bed?"

"Hm?" He sat up, rubbing at his eyes, praying to God that his genitals weren't giving away his raunchy thoughts. "Sorry, I must have dozed off." Stretching his arms up, he yawned loudly before getting to his feet, turning the television off as he did so. "What are you doing up? I thought you'd gone to bed."

"I had, I needed something for the heartburn."

"Why didn't you shout, I could have brought something up."

"I did." She stared at him, a small smile on her face. "After the third time shouting I gave up. I didn't wanna wake Grace either. You know, you're a real heavy sleeper, you better be sharing the load with night feeds and diaper changing when this little one comes." Rubbing her hand over her almost invisible bump he smiled down at her as they reached the stairs.

"Of course I will, but we're in England now." He smirked cockily. "We say nappies, not diapers." As soon as her back was to him again, making their way upstairs his smile faded and quickly. His mind was so heavy with thought, he couldn't focus on anything else anymore.

* * *

Over in her own sexual dwellings, Connie was just now climbing out of her large bathtub, the bubbles had all vanished and the water had become lukewarm signalling for her to get out. Wrapping her hair in a towel she shimmied into her satin dressing gown, applying moisturiser to her hands and arms as she paced her bedroom floor finally coming to a standstill at her gigantic window. Staring out into the night sky she sighed heavily at the thoughts racing through her mind. She'd tried her hardest to shake them from her brain, not wanting to _want_ to relive them out of stubbornness and anger but at the same time she wanted to let the her recollection of that first night spent with him take over her. Before she could even allow the thoughts to cascade over her barely clothed body, her phone vibrated on the dresser, drawing an dissatisfied huff from her. Perhaps it was a sign? A divine intervention telling her to eliminate him from her mind completely and just get on with her life as he was with his, or so she thought.

But no. It was a one-lined text from Sam.

 _ **We need to talk. Properly.**_

As much as she wanted to flick one back telling him exactly where to shove it, she knew this all needed resolving, not only for their sakes but for Grace's and, as much as it pained her to admit, Emma's too. Growling under her breath she responded aloofly, telling him to see her in her office tomorrow. Throwing her phone on to her bed, she angrily ripped the towel from her head before she started towel drying her hair. Her rage peaking when her phone lit up yet again.

 _ **I'm outside.**_

Reading the two words in disbelief she moved back to the window and peered out on to the darkened street and there, surely enough parked beneath the orange glow of the street light, was Sam's car. What the hell gave him the right to show up unannounced like this? Licking her upper lip furiously, she tore her the blinds down before responding to him. Telling him plainly and simply, no. It was her office tomorrow or no talking at all. It was his choice. She _knew_ if she let him in here it'd go one of two ways. Either an eruptive, explosive and fiery screaming match _or_ an eruptive, explosive and fiery screwing session. Both of which she knew would be a bad idea right now. Heading back into her en-suite, she intended to proceed with her nightly routine but his loud, incessant knocking at the door halted her before she could even begin. An incredulous laugh escaped her mouth as she pulled the satin fabric tightly across herself as she marched down the stairs, wrenching the door open fiercely.

"What _on earth_ do you think you're doing?" She hissed maliciously but he merely ignored her anger and pushed the door further open as he brushed past her. "Oh, please, do come in." The sarcasm was clear in her tone, even through her fury. Slamming the door to deliberately highlight her vexation, she turned to follow him. He'd headed straight to her living room.

"I can't keep doing this."

"Well then stop." Crossing her arms to cover herself up somewhat, she stared at him emotionlessly. "I didn't _ask_ you to come here, Sam. In fact, I've done all I can to avoid all of this but you-"

"I know!" He barked, cutting her off and ultimately receiving an angry exhale from her before he continued in a more controlled fashion. "I know, I just, I thought breaking things off between us cold turkey would make it easier." He collapsed into one of her armchairs, rubbing his hands roughly over his face and hair. "This is a mess."

"You've made your bed-"

"No, Connie!" He looked up immediately, not completely shocked by her cold reaction. "This is all alright for you, isn't it? You've been quenching your thirst for sex with me and now that I'm unavailable you've moved on to the next one! What, do you have them lined up or somthing-"

"You think this is _easy_ for me? You don't think any of this has meant _anything_ to me?" She noted his eyebrows twitch with confusion, her words stunning him slightly. It was unlike her to express such feelings to someone's face, other than anger and disappointment of course.

"Oh come off it, Connie." He quipped back. "Don't pretend you're invested in this, all along this has been nothing but sex for you. Im the one suffering at your hands, you've screwed me up in the head. Everything is a complete mess!" Becoming angry and quickly, he unknowingly invited her to do the same thing. It looked as though it was to be the screaming match option as opposed to the sex session this evening.

"Oh that's it, blame it all on me. That's right." She nodded, remaining on her feet to tower over him, applauding him slowly and sarcastically. "I held a gun to your head and forced you to act against your will! Is that what happened?" Jeering exorbitantly, she ceased her taunting claps. " _Grow up, Sam_! You know, I shouldn't even be angry, it's not as if I wasn't expecting this to happen! It's built into you-"

"Me?!" He questioned vehemently.

"Yes, you! _Men!_ You're all the same! I don't know why I even bother to act surprised anymore!" Her anger was losing it's protective coating despite her loud yells, the hurt was starting to show through like the flesh of a man's skin beneath it's armour. "You know, you promise one thing and then do another. I can't, not now." Moving back towards the living room door she stood expectantly, silently asking him to leave. The look on her face was remarkably different to only moments ago, almost defeated but he wasn't finished. He came here to hash this out not squabble for a few minutes and leave even more angry than he'd arrived.

"That's _rich_ coming from you of all people." He laughed emptily. "You go through men faster than you do underwear. You've slept with half of the hospital, we're all objects in your eyes! That's all I ever was to you, isn't it? An _item?_ Someone to screw when you felt like you needed it?" His mocking tone was rubbing her the wrong way, not to mention the content of what he was saying.

"Oh, get a grip." She panted. "What, because you're engaged and you wear a suit every day now that eliminates your tainted past? You were the most philandering, self-centred male I'd ever met. Different girl every night wasn't it? A child at 17, not to mention the STD you spread around the staff on Darwin!" She snarled ferociously, giving back what he was dishing out as she ignored the animalistic look on his face. "You're a hypocrite, the only way you can big yourself up is by tearing somebody else down!"

"Just admit it, Connie." He scoffed. "You've been using me these last few months just like you use every other man in your life, only if it benefits you. Take Grace for instance, I was supposed to be out of the picture wasn't I? Only, you met your match with me." He laughed humourlessly. "Or should I say _the_ match? How did you narrow it down? I've always been curious to know, what was going through your mind when you decided to target me as a sperm donor? Hm? Was it my looks? My brains? 'Cause God knows it wasn't my personality or track record as a Father-"

"It was an accident!" She bellowed out over his loud, hollered words throwing silence of the room like a blanket. They both stood staring at one another as Sam had now got to his feet as well, the pair of them almost breathless due to their extreme arguing.

"No." He shook his head finally speaking, an un-telling smile marking his mouth for less than a second. "Impossible, Connie Beauchamp doesn't make _mistakes_. Your own daughter was coldly calculated, just like everything else in your life." Although his sentence was spoken surely and with a firm confidence, the look on his face was plainly asking her if she was joking but she'd swiftly become subdued and was shying away from any further quarrelling. Avoiding his questioning gaze, she motioned to the door before folding her arms tightly over her herself once again, feeling rather exposed quite literally and metaphorically.

"Just go, please." Her quiet voice startled him, he was prepared for at least another fifteen minutes of back and forth screaming before they even got close to resolving any of this but she gave up so quickly and so easily.

"No." He quipped confidently. "I'm not going _anywhere_ until we've sorted this out."

"There's nothing to _sort out!_ You've said your piece, now go!" Her words were becoming emotional, signalling to him that they were getting somewhere. There was a stark silence as he thought carefully.

"You're right." He breathed, suddenly a lot calmer than before. That's where he'd been going wrong all of this time and it was only just registering with him now. All he'd done so far is talk _at_ her, not _with_ her. But not anymore. "Now it's your turn." Sitting back down slowly, he relaxed his face, almost resetting his temper in preparation for his next words. "Grace was _planned_ , you told me so yourself. I was a sperm donor. Nothing more, nothing less. Those were the exact words you used at Tricia's funeral when you told me." He spoke confidently, sure of his statement but her next sentence was set to rock his understanding of the foundation of their whole relationship.

"You only know what I wanted you to know."


	11. Chapter 11

***Once again, thank you to those of you who left reviews on the last chapter! It's greatly appreciated, I only continue to update because of you! The previous chapter actually had the most visitors this fic has ever had! Enjoy this next chapter, please review! XX***

 _"Just admit it, Connie." He scoffed. "You've been using me these last few months just like you use every other man in your life, only if it benefits you. Take Grace for instance, I was supposed to be out of the picture wasn't I? Only, you met your match with me." He laughed humourlessly. "Or should I say the match? How did you narrow it down? I've always been curious to know, what was going through your mind when you decided to target me as a sperm donor? Hm? Was it my looks? My brains? 'Cause God knows it wasn't my personality or track record as a Father-"_

 _"It was an accident!" She bellowed out over his loud, hollered words throwing silence of the room like a blanket. They both stood staring at one another as Sam had now got to his feet as well, the pair of them almost breathless due to their extreme arguing._

 _"No." He shook his head finally speaking, an un-telling smile marking his mouth for less than a second. "Impossible, Connie Beauchamp doesn't make mistakes. Your own daughter was coldly calculated, just like everything else in your life." Although his sentence was spoken surely and with a firm confidence, the look on his face was plainly asking her if she was joking but she'd swiftly become subdued and was shying away from any further quarrelling. Avoiding his questioning gaze, she motioned to the door before folding her arms tightly over her herself once again, feeling rather exposed quite literally and metaphorically._

 _"Just go, please." Her quiet voice startled him, he was prepared for at least another fifteen minutes of back and forth screaming before they even got close to resolving any of this but she gave up so quickly and so easily._

 _"No." He quipped confidently. "I'm not going anywhere until we've sorted this out."_

 _"There's nothing to sort out! You've said your piece, now go!" Her words were becoming emotional, signalling to him that they were getting somewhere. There was a stark silence as he thought carefully._

 _"You're right." He breathed, suddenly a lot calmer than before. That's where he'd been going wrong all of this time and it was only just registering with him now. All he'd done so far is talk at her, not with her. But not anymore. "Now it's your turn." Sitting back down slowly, he relaxed his face, almost resetting his temper in preparation for his next words. "Grace was planned, you told me so yourself. I was a sperm donor. Nothing more, nothing less. Those were the exact words you used at Tricia's funeral when you told me." He spoke confidently, sure of his statement but her next sentence was set to rock his understanding of the foundation of their whole relationship._

 _"You only know what I wanted you to know."_

* * *

"I don't believe you." He shook his head as he spoke, not quite comprehending what she'd just explained to him.

"It makes no difference whether you do or don't." Answering him lowly, her tone and voice were simmered considerably in comparison to only moments ago. She was tired of arguing, she just wanted this to be settled and quickly. "But that is the truth."

"You told me-"

"I _know_ what I told you, Sam!" Becoming riled again, she stopped to take a breath. "What else was I supposed to do, hm?"

"So you lied? That whole story about how I was a sperm donor, that you planned to get pregnant? That was all bullshit?"

"Of course it was!" She scoffed disbelievingly, she'd let this lie go on for so long. She had no idea it'd still be in action today, still believed 12 years later. "What? Do you really think at that point in my life, with everything that had happened with Michael, that I'd _deliberately_ get myself knocked up by my registrar?"

"Yes, honestly, it's something I wouldn't put past you. Hence why I've believed it all this time." Now he'd lowered his voice too, shocked at the truth finally coming out. sitting down slowly, he rested his elbows on his knees. She followed his actions, sitting down on the settee opposite him. It felt nice to be finally saying it aloud but at the same time she felt exposed and vulnerable. Their conversation commenced but calmly this time.

"I didn't know what to do." She paused, glancing down at her hands in her lap. "And I panicked."

"You were scared." He stated it rather than asking, her eyes met his briefly before glancing down again and that was enough to tell him is statement was true. She just didn't want to verbally admit it. "So you made me think it was all orchestrated?" He looked less confused and less angry now that he knew some of the deeper facts.

"I didn't want to look like I was in trouble, I mean wasn't it enough having everybody looking at me with the same _poor Connie, her husband's been sent down_ expression without having them think _and now she's pregnant and alone too?"_ She inhaled slowly. "So I tried to make sure most people believed it was my choice, that I was in control." His brow twitched, he knew she was a figure of strength and didn't like anyone to think otherwise but he was genuinuely taken aback about how far she would go to hide her vulnerability.

"And me? I needed to be told the same thing?"

"I didn't want you involved, it was a _mistake._ I couldn't be tied to you for the rest of my life because I'd accidentally got pregnant." Softening her tone slightly, she realised what the words coming out of her mouth sounded like. "So I thought if I told you that you were a sperm donor, it'd be like a get-out-of-jail-free card, you'd be off the hook and out of my hair." She glared at him, not able to mask the tiniest of smiles from appearing on her face. "But that didn't quite go as I'd planned, did it?" He smiled too, finally a warm moment between them again.

"I'd already missed out on one child's life, I wasn't going to let it happen with the second." His smile faded. "You made it hard though, I mean, when don't you?"

"I know-" She started, an apology on the tip of her tongue but he interrupted her gently.

"Then I met your Dad and gained a small understanding of why you're so hostile about Fathers." Her eyes moved down to her lap again, not wanting to speak on the topic allowing him to continue. "And now a third child is on the way and I have the chance to be a proper parent from start to finish." He beamed. "I _can't_ fuck this up. I just can't and as much as this thing between us has screwed me up, I can't risk losing this chance." His voice was soft and caring. "Not until this baby is older-"

"What makes you think I'll still be waiting around?"

"If you feel the same way I do, like you're implying you do, then you'll be there." He licked his lower lip, looking down at his shoes before getting to his feet quickly. "I have to get back, it's late." She never once glanced up at him, her satin dressing gown still pulled tightly across herself as he walked past her. Before exiting, he paused to squeeze her shoulder reassuringly and to his relief she didn't pull away or receive it coldly. Instead, she reached her palm up and squeezed his hand back softly too. A non-verbal exchange between them saying they each understood and what will be, will be.

As he left her house, he felt accomplished, as though he'd actually got somewhere with her for once. Even if he'd left not feeling angry _that_ in itself would have been an achievement but to be leaving with a deeper understanding of her, this was huge. Climbing into his car, he sat in thought for a brief moment, contemplating her actions all those years ago. He had no reason to doubt her recent revelation, it all made perfect sense. There was no way their sexual encounter could have been orchestrated, it was a chance happening and she just happened to get pregnant. She must have been in turmoil, to have fabricated such a scenario to disguise their accidental pregnancy. It made him feel slightly useless and even a little sad that he didn't see through her facade or pick up on her fear. Thinking back on it now there were some tell-tale signs, such as the time she tripped on the wards and suffered an internal bleed. She'd been fairly consistent in her wishes for him to be excluded from any scans or pregnancy news but she stopped him from leaving the room that night, told him he could stay. Was that for his benefit? Or for hers because she was scared? He'd never know. Folding his lips together contemplatively, he started the car. His mind swinging back to Emma, his pregnant fiancee who needed him the same way Connie had needed him. He had to do it right this time, there was no ifs or buts about it. _But_ he couldn't let things cool off completely with Connie, he physically couldn't stop it.

* * *

Unfortunately, what hit them next was a tragedy. Something neither of them could have foreseen. Things were settling between them, a mutual understanding and respect for one another's space albeit both were missing each other's company. And, like a magnetic attraction, they found themselves being pulled closer and closer despite their efforts to avoid it. That is until their already chaotic worlds were turned upside down.

The sounds of the hospital were so much more alarming in this situation as opposed to a normal working day. The people around them were almost in slow motion as they both marched down the sterile corridors in unison, doors swinging in their wake whilst their fearing eyes searched for the room.

 ** _Twelve hours earlier_**

The room was silent apart from the rustling of bedsheets as he sat perched on the edge of her king-sized bed, re-buttoning his shirt as she lay behind him, the thin sheet barely covering her naked body as she watched him dress.

"How's Grace feeling?" Her words were soft on the air, her mind and body mellowed following their rendezvous.

"Over the worst of it I think, she can go back to school tomorrow."

"I take it she didn't pass it on to Emma then?"

"No, it was just a lengthy cold or flu. They're both fine." Standing up after getting his shoes back on he grabbed his suit jacket ready to swing back on but she stopped him before he could. Moving over to him, her bare feet silent on the fluffy carpet covering her bedroom floor. "Connie." He warned, throwing his jacket around her. "The blinds aren't drawn."

"So?" Questioning with a smile, she tiptoed as high as she could to reach his lips with hers, continuing to talk between kisses. "You didn't seem to mind before."

"That's because you're neighbour wasn't curtain twitching before but he is now." He planted his hands around her waist, pulling her bare body as close to his as he could, kissing her deeply after the small and unsatisfying kisses she'd given him. His jacket that was previously draped over her shoulders dropped to the ground, leaving her exposed again. He pulled away with a disgruntled sigh. "I can't, not now. I have to go. Besides, we've already given this creep one show, I don't think he could handle a second." Giving her one last kiss, he bent down having to restrain himself from her nude features as he picked his clothing up. "I'll be back later."

He'd managed to find a perfect balance, although it made him feel physically ill knowing what he was doing to Emma, if he blanked his mind completely he could cope with it. This _need_ he felt to be with Connie was a powerful one and it strenuously overruled his _want_ to be with Emma but their unborn child would resurface in his brain and remind him why he couldn't finish things with her or jeopardise his role of fathering their child. So, for the most part he tried to push his guilt away. Locking it out like the unwelcome guest that it was, instead he was overly cheery, to the point where he was actually believing his own chirpiness. The baby was doing well, Emma was glowing, Connie was keeping his side of the bed warm for him and although Grace had come down with a nasty flu, she was just happy her parents weren't tearing chunks out of one another and she finally had a sibling on the way. They'd just found out the sex of the baby too, another girl. All parties were happy, for now at least.

Showering after he'd left, Connie tried to push any negative thoughts from her mind. Telling herself to take things one day at a time, in theory Sam was telling her everything she wanted to hear but regardless of that she'd come to her own conclusions. It wasn't _her_ duty to make sure Sam was acting as a husband-to-be, that was Sam's job, he was his own responsibility, if he wanted to cheat he'd cheat, and he was. Even if she refused him her body, his heart wasn't in this relationship with Emma, so nothing that she was doing was making any difference, right? She was reassuring herself daily that it was okay, she knew the pain of a cheating partner but in her own experience she never blamed the other woman, it was always the male.

* * *

The hours passed agonisingly slowly, but here they were again, like he'd promised. This was new territory, Sam had offered to cook whilst she cracked open a bottle of red. He'd told Emma and Grace he was working late. Connie couldn't help but be puzzled at this union, if you'd told her twelve years ago, she'd be in her home having dinner cooked for her by Sam Strachan she'd have laughed in your face, but it was reality and it smelled delicious.

"Mm, what exactly is it that you're making?" She slipped behind him, two glasses in hand before setting them on the counter as she proceeded to fill each glass equally.

"Honestly, I don't really know." He smiled over his shoulder at her, gagging for the wine she'd just poured him, amongst other things. He licked his lips slowly, she was clad in that satin robe again, the one that had admittedly caused him much distraction weeks ago when he'd made an impromptu visit to her house late one night. But now, he could enjoy her in it freely, providing that he once again locked the guilt out of his mind. Turning the pan on to simmer, he ripped the tea towel from his shoulder where it had previously been draped. There was a look of sexual lust in his eyes, a look she noted from over the top of her glass as she finished a second mouthful.

"Well that sounds promising." Her words were whispered out as he moved in on her, he gave her just enough time to set her glass down before she dropped it. His lips connecting with hers as his hands found their way inside her loose robe, venturing over her bare skin. She leant back against the counter, her arms spread on either side of her, holding herself steady whilst she allowed him to move his hands all over her body under the robe. He deepened the kiss, his hands finally settling on her lower back, moving even closer to her, their tongues lapping up each others company harmoniously. Pulling away from the kiss slowly, he moved his mouth to her neck, her head tilting back dramatically to grant him more access as her breathing quickened. Not reciprocating his touch, she remained with her hands supporting herself on the counter, enjoying every lick, every kiss, every touch on her body. He soon picked up on the fact that that sexual run-in was all about her since this morning she'd made it all about him. Now he was returning the favour on her terms, as much as it aggravated him at work it was a different story in the bedroom. She could dominate all she wanted in bed and he'd happily beg her and thank her afterwards if she asked him to. He started moving downwards, his neck craned incredibly to allow his mouth to taste her clavicle, moving down to her cleavage and finally her breasts. Straightening her neck, she gazed down at him, watching his every move, becoming more and more turned on. Her mouth gaped and her lids flickered shut as he tongued at her flesh, her body working out of reflex as she started to roll against him, wanting _more._

Before they were rudely interrupted. His phone sang out on the counter behind him and he automatically pulled away, his eyes heavy with passion. Her own eyes fluttering open disappointedly as she grabbed at his suit jacket, trying to stop him.

"It might be Emma." He uttered breathlessly, removing himself from her as he went to grab the incessantly ringing phone. She rolled her eyes, snatching her robe shut before grabbing the second glass of wine and leaving the room stroppily. As she moved through the doorway she heard him pick up, calling her name before he had to redial. He'd missed it. A satisfactory smile graced her face briefly until her own phone started ringing. Turning on the spot she headed back into the kitchen to find Sam holding her phone, looking at the caller ID.

"Give it to me." Speaking softly, she sat her glass down and caught a glimpse of his face.

"It's Grace." He ignored her outstretched hand and answered it, much to her annoyance. He knew he was in for it when the call was over. First he'd started to please her and ceased, now he was answering her calls against her instruction. The look on her face told him to be prepared. "Gracie?" He smiled, awaiting a response from her but instead his face dropped. Connie couldn't have explained it even if she'd tried, but it was as if the colour had instantly drained from his face, his expression dropping within seconds. "Emma-"

"Emma?" Connie mouthed the one-worded question but he was ignoring her.

"Emma please, slow down. Where are you?" There was a moment of stark silence as she spoke on the other end before he moved to the pans quickly, turning everything off as he grabbed his keys. "Okay, sit tight we're on our way!" Hanging up at great speed, he tossed the phone back to Connie, who now looked as equally worried as he sounded.

"What is it?" Her eyes were wide with panic, her voice urgent upon taking in his stressed manner and agitated behaviour.

"Get dressed, it's Grace."

* * *

That sentence alone had sent her into panic mode, the drive to the hospital with Sam behind the wheel was erratic to say the least but she couldn't give a shit. They were both just hellbent on getting to Grace as fast as they could. When they reached resus, Connie went full steam ahead, catapulting through the double doors as she normally would. Sam was in an equal rush but stopped briefly to catch Emma who was stood looking through the window crying.

"Emma!" He gushed, pulling her into his embrace, her bump nestled between them as she sobbed. "It's okay." He cooed, trying to harness his own emotions as he took a glimpse through the window. Grace was laying lifelessly. Connie had the notes in her hand already, leaning over her and taking charge immediately. "What happened?"

"I don't know." She sobbed. "One minute she was fine, the next she's not moving and I couldn't get her to wake up-" Her cries halted her sentence from going any further.

"Okay, okay." He soothed, rubbing her back as he swayed with her slightly. "You did the right thing, she's in the best possible hands now, okay?" He kissed the top of her head before guiding her to a chair. "Here, sit down and I'll go and see what's going on."

"I want to come-"

"No." He spoke firmly through his worried feelings. "Stay out here, you've already been through enough stress." Crouching down in front of her, he kept one of her hands in his grip whilst his other hand lay softly on her small bump. "I'll come back and give you an update." He got to his feet again and moved swiftly into resus, Connie was barking orders, clashing heavily with Elle who was trying her hardest to calm her down.

"Ah, Mr Strachan." She spoke with relief as if he could actually control her. "Please, if Connie wants to be present she _cannot_ be treating her own daughter. She either leaves or she stands quietly out of the way!"

"This is my _daughter!"_ She bellowed fiercely, her anger quickly turning to panic.

"Connie, we can't treat her." He spoke gently, his arm extended around her as he attempted to guide her out of the way of the working staff. She tried to escape his looming embrace but upon a second attempt he managed to move her back towards the door, an emotional Emma watching on. "She's in good hands, our colleagues." He reassured comfortingly, almost as if he was trying to soothe himself. "They know what they're doing." She wasn't crying but he could sense tears were on the way. They both kept their gaze fixed on their lifeless daughter as the ED staff rallied around her. Glancing down at Connie he squeezed her upper arm comfortingly before turning to look at Emma through the glass. She was still seated on the chair he'd put her in, her leg bouncing rapidly as she wiped at her nose with a tissue, she looked shattered. What the hell had happened this evening?

* * *

It was a long three hours, the longest any of them had ever experienced but it was finally over, or so it seemed. Grace was stable and had been moved up to paediatrics where they were waiting on a specialist to come and speak to them. The silence between the three of them spoke volumes. Connie was furious and desperate to know just what the hell had happened but at the same time the guilt refrained her from jumping down Emma's throat. Grace was _her_ daughter and they'd _willingly_ left her in Emma's care so that they could sneak around and tend to their sexual appetites behind her back, which made her feel like shit. On the other side of the room, Sam was drowning in a sea of pure, raging guilt, both for not being there for Grace and also for having betrayed Emma, who was sat next to him. Her tears had finally stopped but she was as pale as a ghost and her leg was still bouncing with worry. Her mind was also plagued with a hundred and one questions, questions she couldn't ask at a time like this as the current situation made them seem petty and trivial. However, there would come a time though and these questions won't be brushed aside. Placing her hand delicately on her small bump, she got to her feet slowly.

"I need a hot drink, would you guys like one?" Her American accent sounded especially more nasal due to her stuffy nose and cried out eyes. She was met with a prickly silence from Connie so turned her attention to Sam who nodded gratefully.

"Coffee would be nice." He croaked with a tired and forced smile. "Thanks." As soon as she left the room and was out of sight he moved his eyes to Connie, who was stood diligently by Grace's bedside, she was holding her hand, almost willing her to wake up but she was completely out of it. "Connie, it's not Emma's fault-"

"I'm not stupid, Sam." Her words were cold as she interrupted him. "There's no external injuries, it's internal whatever it is." She finally looked over at him, although her sentences were icy her eyes were warm and genuine. "I never intended on blaming Emma, in fact, I'm grateful she acted as fast as she did." He blinked with relief and lowered his head, rubbing his hands over his face exhaustedly.

"I asked her what happened, all she said was she was fine one minute and the next..." He trailed off and returned his focus back to Grace's figure laying in the bed between them, tubes and wires all over her. "She was unresponsive." Connie was about to speak when a doctor entered the room.

Having got herself a cup of tea and Sam's coffee she started making her way back to the private room, stopping immediately at the sight of another person occupying the space, from the end of the hallway she could see a white coated figure, clipboard in hand. It must have been a doctor and judging by Connie's body language, coincided with the speed at which Sam stood up, it can't have been good news. She remained planted to the spot, not knowing what to do. She wanted to be in there, to comfort Sam and be there for him but at the same time she already felt like she was intruding. Grace wasn't her daughter, of course she loved her like a daughter but she wasn't her Mother and never would be. She watched on sadly, Connie's right hand was clasped over her mouth, her left arm wrapped across herself as she was obviously trying to hold back her emotions. Her heart writhed with pain, witnessing the doctor leave solemnly, Sam moved over to Connie delicately and embraced her. She didn't fight his physical touch, in fact it appeared as though she wanted it. It was accepted. Blinking rapidly, she felt the tears rolling down her face again. Now was not the time to be experiencing jealousy. They were Grace's parents, that's a lifetime relationship and she knew that when she got involved with Sam. Getting herself together she continued on down the hall and let herself in using her elbow to get the handle. Her entrance startled them both, moving away from each other instantly as Emma tried to appear unbothered by the pair of them comforting one another. Connie immediately turned her back, making her way back to the chair directly next to Grace's bedside, it was plainly obvious that she was crying. Sam was verging on tears too, turning to face her he looked broken.

"Sam?" She whispered softly, his face was contorted painfully. "What's happened? What's wrong with her?"

"They, uh." He started but quickly lost control of his collected sentence. He swallowed hard and looked up, blinking quickly to stem any tears from forming, not that it wasn't okay for men to cry but he obviously wanted to be the pillar of strength right now, for both Connie and Grace. He winced at the sound of Connie's cries behind him, she was masking them well but he could almost feel them and his conscience was screaming at him to go to her but he couldn't be there for her in that sense right now. Not with Emma present. He felt so torn. Finally answering her question, his shaky voice rattled her emotions. "They think it's Leukaemia."


	12. Chapter 12

***Hello everyone, I apologise DEEPLY for my lengthy absence! 2018 has been a crazy year and I can't wait for 2019 to get here already. I know a lot of people think I have ditched writing but I wouldn't do that to you loyal readers and nor to myself. Writing is very therapeutic for me and not being able to do it as frequently as I wanted to has been hell! I hope you all enjoy this, it's getting a little serious but will still have your kinky segments ;) Enjoy and please leave reviews, they help me and motivate me immensely! XX***

The room was deathly silent, she felt as though she could hear her ears ringing. Sam was to her right and sat on the edge of his seat, his knee bouncing with anticipation. Although she was glad of his presence his nervous fidgeting was bothering her to her core.

"Sam." She hissed his way, causing his movement to cease completely.

"Sorry, I'm just tired of waiting, we've been here for thirty-five minutes now." They were sat in Dr. Maison's office awaiting his arrival, it had been a week since Grace's diagnosis and it was as the doctor had suspected. Leukemia. And now it was decision time. Before she could utter a response the office door opened much to their relief. Sam wasn't sure how much longer he could wait for, initially he had been the pillar of strength as Connie struggled to come to terms with it all but now that it was fact, all she could do was look ahead at treatment and recovery. Now it was Sam's turn to struggle with the reality of things.

"Mrs Beuachamp, Mr Strachan." He greeted them accordingly and took a seat behind his desk. "Sorry to keep you waiting so long, there was an emergency in theatre."

"It's fine." Sam huffed. "We just want to get on with things quickly." Connie rolled her eyes at his frosty behavior, their roles seemed to be reversed somewhat as normally Connie would be the one acting icy, she figured his stress and worry was coming through as frustration and left it at that.

"Of course, let's get to it then." He smiled apologetically. "You're medical professionals so I won't sugar coat things or add any frill to my words. Typically speaking, the strain of Leukaemia Grace has been diagnosed with is usually treated with a course of chemotherapy followed by a stem cell transplant." He paused for a moment, taking in their worried expressions before continuing on softly. "Now what we can do is start her on chemotherapy treatment and get her on the stem cell transplant list and wait for a donor match. Normally this process is a lot faster when the donor is a sibling but as I understand it Grace is an only child?"

"Yes, she is." Connie croaked, her body still rigid with shock at the news of her twelve year old daughter having to endure chemotherapy treatment at such a young age.

"I have a son and another child on the way but-"

"But the donor has to be a full sibling, a child conceived by both yourself and Mrs Beuachamp, yes." He interrupted Sam's sentence, finishing it off and answering his question at the same time. Sam slumped back in his chair defeatedly as Connie's eyes closed briefly, trying to keep her emotions in check.

"Okay, so we get her on the waiting list straight away, I don't want to waste any time." She spoke after taking a deep and shaky breath. Looking at Sam briefly as she spoke, her words faltered a fraction, he had that look on his face. Like one of his bright ideas was about to burst out but he was building up to it.

"How long is the waiting list?" He asked in a very matter of fact tone with no protest from Connie as this was valid information she too wanted to know. She tore her gaze from Sam and looked back at the Doctor, his face looked bleak.

"It's hard to say but you're looking at ten to twelve months." He noticed their defeated mannerisms, Connie blinking slowly and melting back into her chair disappointedly as Sam just seemed to grow in frustration. "But it could also be that in five months time we find a match, it's just one of those things. It's hard to give an exact time frame-"

"Our daughter is not _just one of those things!_ " Sam spat angrily, causing Dr Maison to shudder with regret, his choice of words could have been better.

"Sam." She whispered tiredly, a warning for him to calm down but he continued on regardless.

"Okay, so what if we had another child?" The room fell silent, he'd shocked Connie into a quiet abyss as the Doctor looked between the two of them, smartly collecting his next words more cautiously than before. Sam could feel Connie's gaze burning into the side of his head.

"A saviour sibling?" He nodded to himself as if contemplating the idea. "I mean, it's a little controversial and there are ethical issues still surrounding it but by all means it's something that is regularly done in these situations. You also have a set and stable time frame too with the average pregnancy lasting between eight and nine months." Looking at the horrified expression on Connie's face he realised he was possibly fuelling an idea in Sam's head that wasn't sitting so well with her. "But of course both parents have to be in full agreement, it's a lot to take on board and I'm sure you have lots of discussing to do about your choice of treatment. I'll set you up with all the information you need, like I said we have a couple of days to make a decision but for now we'll start Grace on the appropriate chemotherapy and we'll move forward from there."

That was it. The pair of them had been hit by a massive truck and left to crawl out of the wreckage alone, fumbling around in the dark. Connie was being typically Connie, she'd shut down completely now. Words were having no effect on her, especially the ones she was hearing from Sam's mouth. It had been four days since their meeting with the Doctor and he was still pushing for this second child. A saviour sibling for Grace.

"I just don't understand." He uttered with pure confusion, they'd been sat with Grace for hours but desperately needed to hash things out away from her presence. Leading them to seek solace in their cupboard. The small, compact room suddenly held a new feeling to what it previously had. "This is to save _our daughter,_ Connie! And you won't even consider the idea, this is the best option for Grace."

"There are other options available to save her aside from bringing another life into this world with the sole purpose of being used as a treatment!" She snapped back, her temper finally reaching boiling point. She'd had four days of him incessantly going on about this treatment choice. The sensible side of her was only angry because she _knew_ this was best choice for Grace but the other part of her had reservations about harvesting another child purely to save the life of her already living child. It just made her feel awful inside.

"Connie." He breathed her name, his voice surprisingly soft and gentle in nature. "You _know_ it's the right choice." He moved closer to her, not becoming discouraged when she stepped back to avoid his closeness. "With everything that's going on right now with you, me, Emma and now grace, do you really think another child is at the top of my mind?-" She was close to allowing him to envelope her into his arms but following his final sentence she grimaced and retreated from his embrace furiously.

"No, I don't, Sam." She blinked rapidly, her mouth struggling to remain steady as she spoke but he could hear the emotions fighting to get free. "Which is why I _cannot_ bring another child into the world because I'll be the one left alone holding the baby, excuse the pun."

"I'll be here-"

"No!" She interrupted with a humourless laugh. "No you won't! That's the point, you'll have Emma and your newborn child. How on _earth_ will you balance two babies with two different women as well as a sick teenaged daughter? Hm?" She awaited an answer but her face softened quickly upon seeing his broken expression.

"I just can't even comprehend losing Gracie, I'll do anything to save her but I can't do it on my own. If I could, I would." He looked at her defeatedly. "You can't know me too well, I'll do anything to be involved in the lives of my children, you of all people should be well aware of the lengths I'd go to." Pausing emotionally, he stepped closer to her once more, this time she remained planted to the spot. "There's no way you'd be alone, I'd be there every step of the way." She knew they were running out of time, a choice had to be made and all she'd been doing so far was delaying the inevitable because of her own fears. She couldn't do that anymore, this was Grace's life that was on the line. Her mind had already decided two days ago but actually verbally saying it made it real and it petrified her.

"I know." The word was whispered quietly, she was avoiding his gaze but didn't have to try too hard as he let out a shaky, relief filled breath before enveloping her into his arms. She wanted to fight it but her body felt numb. Part of her was hoping, praying even, that this was all one big nightmare and she'd wake up soon and leave all of this behind. But it wasn't, this was all really happening.

How had it come to this?

* * *

Things were moving forward and quickly. Sam had the unfortunate task of talking their plan of action through with Emma and his Mother, luckily both were understanding. Emma took a while to come to terms with it and was still getting used to the idea but if this was the best chance Grace had then she didn't care what had to be done, so long as that little girl was okay nothing else mattered. The person struggling the most was still Connie, even now as she sat uncomfortably in Dr Maison's office with Sam to her right, she felt knotted up and tense. A week ago all was well, besides their torrid affair things seemed relatively good and now she found herself sat with the weighing burden of how to keep her child alive and tomorrow she could be expecting their second baby. It hadn't even fully registered with her yet, honestly she was scared for the moment it would because she had no choice in this matter and not being in control was something she feared so intensely.

"Mrs Beauchamp?" His words jolted her back into the moment, he and Sam were both looking at her expectantly.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said we can get you in this afternoon for all the necessary checks but first I'll run through the procedure with you both, okay?" He frowned slightly at her reactions, his eyes flickered over to Sam before landing back on Connie. "But first I have to be certain you're both on board with this? Particularly you, Mrs Beauchamp. It's all good and well for a man in this kind of situation as they escape the intrusive procedures but as the carrier of the child I need to know you're 100% okay to go ahead with this?"

"If it means saving my daughter's life, then yes." She cleared her throat attempting to collect herself. "I'm 100% on board." Sam exhaled with relief, prompting the Doctor to continue.

"Right, well, as you'll both be aware this isn't really a case of just having sex and getting pregnant." He got straight down to business, like he said no sugar coating and no frills. "It'll be done using artificial insemination so we can analyse the eggs to ensure we have the perfect match for Grace, if the saviour sibling is born with the same genetic predisposition as Grace there's a chance they could develop leukaemia as well, rendering the stem cell transplant useless. Not to mention the ethical side of things as I'm aware the two of you are no longer physically involved." Sam glanced down as Connie shifted uncomfortably. "Exactly." He smiled awkwardly. "So we'll run the necessary tests this afternoon and proceed sooner rather than later. By the time Grace has finished chemotherapy the baby will be born, or failing that we can induce at the safest possibly gestational age if things get hairy and we need the transplant more urgently." Connie took a deep breath, the words being uttered were positively swirling through her brain, she felt like the room was spinning. He was talking as though this baby wouldn't even be a significant life. Of course she knew that's not how he was intending to sound, the feeling of child abuse was playing on her mind causing her to be sensitive to any and all references towards this unborn child she was about to carry.

* * *

 _"Don't act as though you don't like it." He whispered heavily into her ear, her eyes were already closed but seemed to close even tighter at the mere feeling he was giving her. The small confines of the storeroom cupboard exaggerated every noise they made. This union was twelve years in the making, the sexual tension finally becoming too much to handle. As went most of their interactions, the animalistic need to have sex seemed to intensify following an extremely heated argument and this time very much like the first last time, they acted on it. A lot had changed in twelve years. He was no longer under her thumb, no longer below her in rank so to speak and it shifted the balance of their interactions. Connie no longer had the upper hand she was so used to having with him and Sam finally felt like he could overthrow her power and he revelled in it. He could tell she was feeding off of his dominant energy too, in fact she craved it. It wasn't often in Connie Beauchamp's life she'd find herself being the submissive sex. Most men shied away, struggled to deal with her intelligence and high status or they'd obey her every command submissively. Despite their efforts to counteract her dominance, she'd always win but now the tables had well and truly turned and she was living for it. He was rough, angry and demanding. He had no fear._

 _Her back was pinned up against the metal shelving, each groove digging into the flesh beneath her clothes. Two out of three boxes had been checked so far, they'd had an angry exchange of words, she told him to grow up, he told her to shut up, she'd slapped him across the face and now came the third box to tick. Sex. Locking lips following the slap, their breathing was hot and heavy as their tongues became reacquainted. An uncontrolled moan escaped her mouth into his as he picked her up, pinning her against the shelves, her legs automatically coming up to wrap around his lower torso, his hips holding her in place against the shelving. She could feel him pressed up against her, growing with every touch of her body as he got more and more aroused. This was when he broke the lip lock, whispering the aforementioned sentence sensually into her ear as his left hand smoothed up and down her outer thigh under her skirt, his right hand finding it's way to where she so desperately wanted it to go. He teased at first, showing her who was in control. Fighting against her hand as she tried to force him in the right direction, a stifled and frustrated moan dripped from her lips as he continued to rub his fingers over her underwear slowly, her toes curling in her heels at the feel of his touch. Her eyes were heavy, almost closed but she had her gaze fixed on him. Two could play this game. She continued to writhe in his grip, rolling her hips against his hand as he finally moved his fingers into her underwear. She gaped her mouth, her own hand stroking at the bulge beneath his pants drawing a throaty growl from him in return. She didn't tease for as long as he did, she got through his belt and zipper using both hands to get to his crotch, a devilish smile marking her face at the change in his expression. His eyes closed lazily as his brows pulled together in a look of pure want. He pushed himself even closer to her, making it hard for her to continue stroking his length._

 _Quickly growing tired of this foreplay he tore at her underwear with enough force to rip them off. The sound she made along with the noise of tearing lace was one he would never, ever forget. It was a high-pitched gasp with a gravelly element to it, her head flung back and her brow furrowed deeply, this partnered with her gaping mouth painted the most erotic picture of arousal. She quickly regained control of her panting body, her hands now planted on either side of his head and neck, reinitiating their deep lip lock. She didn't let anything disturb it this time, she was hungry for it. Even the feeling of him entering her slowly. She merely growled into him, and he into her as they allowed their tongues to continue wrestling. His hands were unable to roam her body as he began thrusting slowly, he had to support her weight. She bit at his lip roughly between ravenous kissing, inviting him to throw a little more aggression into his movements too. He didn't care where they were anymore, he wanted to **hear** her. So far he could hear rattling shelves, heavy breaths and the occasional moan but he wanted to hear more of the same sound he got when tearing her panties off. Speeding up his movements, he bucked his hips faster and harder, her groans started to become less chesty and more throaty, her back was being thrown roughly into the shelves as her left hand moved from his jawline and reached out frantically for the shelves to the side of her, desperate to hold on to something whilst her right hand moved to the back of his neck, gripping at him tightly. She couldn't keep up with the kissing, her breathing was too laboured and the sex too rough. Pulling away with a pained groan she couldn't help but still be aware of their whereabouts. Anybody could be out there and hear them, but she wasn't in control of this sex session anymore that much was clear to her, however she couldn't contain her pleasure and he was lapping it up. He could see she was nearing the edge, her vocals were finally unhinging but not as much as he would have liked and he put it down to location. Hospital cupboards aren't the best spaces to fully get it on he concluded. Regardless, she was letting out short, sharp gasps whilst still managing to control the amount of sound she made. The noises escaping her got closer and closer together the faster he rolled against her, he was struggling to mask his own pleasure filled groans as he felt her tightening around him, the mere feeling of her orgasm as she whispered his name breathlessly and pleadingly led him to his climax too. The air was thick and heavy with passion as they both came down from the high, her breathing was a shambles and her right hand remained with it's firm grip on the back of his neck. There was a slight moment of hesitation on both parts, their faces were so close to one another, their noses almost touching between their heavy breathing yet since the deed was done they shared the same question in their minds. Would kissing mean something now? Before and during sex seemed more acceptable but since they'd both peaked, do they kiss? Or does that complicate things?_

 _Now he remembered why he restrained from getting into these situations with her in the past. She confused him and his feelings. It was only something he ever experienced with Connie and he couldn't for the life of him explain it. Unbeknownst to either of them at the time, this was the beginning of what was to be a lengthy and torrid affair._

* * *

He was late but she wasn't surprised or even particularly bothered. In fact she wanted to be alone, she was overwhelmed and feeling slightly claustrophobic. Sitting on the edge of the hospital bed in the private room she waited as patiently as she could, her foot wiggling with anxiety. The nurse in her company was already aware of how on edge she seemed and offered a small smile over the top of her clipboard.

"The heating should kick in soon, I know those gowns don't offer much warmth." The young nurse received only a half smile in return and decided to press on. "We're just running some bloods and checking vital stats today, so nothing to stress about-" Before she could finish her sentence Sam entered loudly, slowing his movements upon entering and realising he was interrupting.

"Sorry I'm late." He spoke quietly and closed the door delicately. Connie couldn't help but notice how fatigued he looked, he was washed out and looked as though he needed a week of sleep. Having said that she beat him in the eye bags department. Her own body was tired with worry and concern for Grace and it was starting to show in her appearance too.

"That's okay, I was just running Mrs Beauchamp through the tests and procedures we're doing today." She smiled at him and looked back to Connie who looked irked at his presence.

"Actually we're both in the medical profession, you can skip all the diagrams and step-by-steps if you like?" He set his coat and scarf down on the visitor chair before moving to the end of the bed.

"Oh, my mistake! I had no idea." She laughed, feeling slightly stupid having only just realised this was _the_ Connie Beauchamp. Sat on the bed however, Connie was internally raging. She was trying to buy as much time as possible and Sam just came in and squashed her plan. Desperate to delay what was to come, being a patient never sat well with her and this time was no different. "In that case I'll crack on then!" She set the clipboard back down at the end of the bed and sanitised her hands. "Before I go, do you have any allergies to any medications?"

"No."

"You're not currently on or taking any prescribed medications?" She shook her head in response. "Have you recently been pregnant?"

"No."

"And there's no chance you could be currently pregnant?" She shook her head again feeling like a broken record.

"Okay, perfect." She smiled. "I'll drop back in when we have your bloods back and we'll proceed from there but for now you can get comfy, and I'll update Dr Maison on everything and get on to Obs and Gynae."

"Thank you." Sam stepped in to speak upon Connie's lack of response and the room fell silent again as soon as she closed the door behind herself.

"How's Grace?" She croaked, feeling guilty for leaving her bedside to endure these tests and this endless prodding and poking.

"She was fine when I left, a little nauseous but that's nor-"

"I know it's _normal,_ Sam." She spat angrily but quickly collected herself, shaking her head at her own irritability. "Sorry, I just-"

"No, it's fine." He rubbed her forearm before moving backwards to sit on the chair. "Actually she seemed a lot chirpier after her nap, she might even still be awake by the time we're done here." He was speaking carefully, he wanted to make light of the situation but it was a huge thing that was happening right now and he could feel the stress radiating from her.

"You didn't tell her, did you?"

"No." He looked down sadly. There had been a discussion about whether or not Grace should know about this baby or if it should remain a secret to her, obviously she'd realise her mother was pregnant at some point but the circumstances and reasons would be kept quiet in order to shield her from any feelings of guilt. Needless to day Connie wanted it kept quiet and Sam wanted her to be aware of everything that was going on.

"Good, we should keep it that way. It's not a nice feeling, especially not for a child." Avoiding his eyes, she kept her focus on her hands in her lap as she fidgeted. He could feel his heart sinking. He couldn't even imagine what she was feeling right now but he knew this was what had to be done, regardless of Connie's feelings. That last sentence she'd uttered indicated she was carrying some sense of guilt about what they were doing.

* * *

A quiet hour or so passed before Dr Maison entered the room at 6pm, immediately Sam straightened up in the chair as he was moments away from nodding off and Connie sat a little more upright on the bed awaiting the next set of checks.

"Sorry to disturb you both." He spoke softly and calmly, looking at the sheet of paper in his hands. "It's just earlier you told Nurse Carter there was no possibility that you could be pregnant but your bloods are saying otherwise." He looked at Sam briefly before reconnecting his gaze with Connie and expanding. "Not to throw you in to a state of shock at such a delicate time but you're pregnant, Mrs Beauchamp."


	13. Chapter 13

***Thanks for being patient, I hope you enjoy this next chapter! Please read and review, thank you to those who took the time to do so on the last chapter. I'll be updating 'Perfect Illusion' next but I'll so how I go! Enjoy! (Also, once again, I'm not a medic and I know nothing about medicine or medical procedures so there are bound to be some inaccuracies in my fics! XX***

 _A quiet hour or so passed before Dr Maison entered the room at 6pm, immediately Sam straightened up in the chair as he was moments away from nodding off and Connie sat a little more upright on the bed awaiting the next set of checks._

 _"Sorry to disturb you both." He spoke softly and calmly, looking at the sheet of paper in his hands. "It's just earlier you told Nurse Carter there was no possibility that you could be pregnant but your bloods are saying otherwise." He looked at Sam briefly before reconnecting his gaze with Connie and expanding. "Not to throw you in to a state of shock at such a delicate time but you're pregnant, Mrs Beauchamp."_

The stark silence in the room paired with the expressions displayed on their faces was enough to tell Dr Maison that this was news to both of them, putting him in an understandably uncomfortable position.

"Perhaps I'll give you both a moment to talk?" He folded his lips as he started inching backwards towards the door but Connie's raspy voice halted him.

"Talking isn't going to change anything." Her cold and matter of fact tone concerned him slightly but he continued to listen. "What do we do now?"

"Well," He began cautiously. "There's no easy way of saying this but if you're to carry this baby full-term, a saviour sibling for Grace is out of the question and your best plan of action is the waiting list. A saviour sibling _must_ have the same two parents as the patient we're treating." He sighed regretfully, his eyes flickering over both of their faces. Connie's gaze was now fixed on her lap, her right hand massaging at her temple delicately.

"Actually it-" She stopped, clearing her throat as she stalled, the shame was holding her back from being able to talk coherently. "It is his baby." She spoke the four words as quietly as possible, as if it would somehow make it not true. Avoiding the Doctor's gaze in the seconds of silence following her confession, she allowed her eyes to only briefly meet Sam's before looking down again.

"Ah, right." He tried to cover his shock, looking to Sam he noted a look of pure discomposure. "I see." Glancing back to Connie he blinked, attempting to gather his words. "Well then, if you're happy to proceed with this pregnancy, we'll need to perform a Non-Invasive Prenatal Screening to asses whether the foetus is a match for Grace-"

"And if it's not?" Sam interrupted immediately, panic overruling his actions.

"Well, again, there's no easy way to say it but Mrs Beauchamp can choose to carry this baby full-term or opt for a termination followed by a short period of rest before attempting the artificial insemination." Her jaw clenched both in a bid to stem her sadness but also as a way of venting her anger at this whole situation. Dr Maison observed the fraught silence, his heart honestly went out to them. "You can trust anything said in my presence shan't be spoken elsewhere." He could tell Sam was fretting upon the secret coming out, especially since he had a pregnant fiancee sat at home. "But I'm going to leave you to discuss things whilst I get the Non-Invasive Prenatal Screening arranged." He folded his lips and gave them both one last glance before exiting, leaving them to sit in both shock and silence.

"Did you know?" He finally croaked after a minute or so of quiet.

"Of course I didn't _know!_ " She snapped ferociously at him, this new information was hitting her hard. She felt as though her head was spinning, the thought of possibly having to terminate this pregnancy if it wasn't a match for Grace was making her sick with guilt. He leant forward on the chair, his hand running roughly over his mouth and chin as he thought.

"Okay." He breathed. "So what do we do now?" His probing questions pushed her over the edge.

"You mean what am _I_ going to do if this baby isn't a match? You want to make sure I'm going to go ahead with a termination if it isn't so why don't you just come out and _say_ it, Sam? Hm?" She shook her head angrily, smiling with disbelief as she looked away from him.

"Don't you dare." He sat bolt upright, becoming emotional. "Don't you _dare_ make it seem as though I couldn't give a _damn_ about this baby because I do but at the same time I can't stop my thoughts from going back to _Grace_ and how _sick_ she is. We might _lose_ her, Connie." He squinted, not quite understanding where her head was at the moment. "Doesn't that thought haunt you?"

"Yes! Yes, it does!" She barked, her voice holding a tremor that was rather noticeable. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have been sat here fully prepared to go ahead with this procedure as much as my instincts are against it! Isn't that enough for you? Carrying an unborn child for nine months, giving birth and having another child to care for?" She left him no time to answer before proceeding. "Grace is the _only_ reason I'm in this room right now, how I choose to deal with the situation is my _own_ way of coping, forgive me if I'm not happy about going through with all of this because I'm _not_ so will you _please_ just let me cope the only way I know how to!" Her emotional outburst silenced him into a spiral of guilty thoughts. Although he was ultimately only thinking of Grace he was being selfish in how he was expecting Connie to react to what was going on. In his mind she should be up for anything if it meant saving Grace and she _was_ however the emotional strain this was going to take on Connie was a factor he hadn't quite expected to encounter.

"I'm sorry, my thoughts are just so clouded by the object of saving Gracie I haven't really considered how you're feeling." He rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "I know you'd do _anything_ for Gracie, I'm sorry I suggested otherwise." She silently accepted his soft an surprising apology.

"Regardless." She shrugged, her facial expression blank and unreadable. "We'd be in this same messy situation even if Grace was happy and well." His brows twitched as she spoke. Call him oblivious but it was only just dawning on him that she was pregnant, carrying _his_ child. Again.

"And if the baby's not a match, wh-"

"I'd have to terminate." Her words were gravelly, the sentence was hard to utter but she knew it's what she had to do. "There's no question."

* * *

Charlie didn't quite know what to say, he remained speechless as Sam's words still registered with his ears. They were sat by Grace's bedside as she slept heavily. Connie had been there all day and upon night falling headed home to get showered and changed before returning to her daughter. Sam needed extra help with their situation, he knew Connie well and knew she'd go backwards and start closing herself off from everyone and that's something he really didn't need happening right now. Taking initiative he decided to speak to Charlie, slowly and quietly talking through every detail of their situation. He knew he could work magic on Connie and it comforted him knowing somebody else was aware of what was happening.

"So all is well with the baby I assume? I mean he or she is a match for Grace?"

"We don't know yet." He sighed, sitting further back in the chair with his almost cold coffee. It was nearing nine o'clock at night and he was ready for another caffeine hit. "They did a Non-Invasive Prenatal Screening ten days ago, we got the results this morning but nothing showed up." Yawning towards the end of his sentence he gulped down the last mouthful of his drink. "They've booked her in for an amniocentesis tomorrow morning."

"Invasive testing?"

"She's almost 11 weeks so it's safe to proceed but there's a minor risk of miscarriage."

"And she's fully prepared to terminate the pregnancy if it's not a match?"

"I don't know, Charlie." Exhaling his words deeply, he rubbed at his face with fatigue. "She hasn't spoken to me properly since we found out, she's doing what she always does-"

"Shutting everyone out." He interrupted Sam and finished off his sentence for him. "She's got a lot on her plate, give her some time."

"We don't have time, that's the issue."

"This is a big thing, Sam. You can't expect her to just grin and get on with it. Regardless of whether it's to save Grace or not, it's obviously affecting her."

"So what do you suggest I do? If I could be the one to do it all, I would-"

"I think we as men have no right to act as though we know what it's like to be the carriers of our young." He raised his eyebrows. "And that's _definitely_ not the way you should approach this with her either, it'll end in a war and a bloody one at that." His eyes rolled over Sam's troubled expression, he looked haggard. "Just give her some time, some space and let her know you're still there." He paused, not knowing whether or not to continue but he threw caution to the wind and did so anyway. "As _there_ as you can be with a pregnant fiancee on the scene as well."

"Charlie not now, please." He exhaled sharply, his temper spiking. "This mess isn't something I'm proud of-"

"So I think you should fix it before it gets even messier." Shaking his head in disbelief he got to his feet slowly. "Two women, two pregnancies, it's not going to get any tidier." Patting his shoulder on the way past he made his way to the door. "I'll keep an eye on Connie, let her know I'm aware of the situation." He nodded to himself as he spoke. "Might encourage her to talk to me if she needs to."

"Thanks Charlie, you can mount my balls on the wall as a trophy once she's killed me." Offering a tired smile with his joke he tried to make light of the extremely complicated situation.

 _Their relationship had always been very tumultuous, one minute they'd be screaming at one another with a full audience the next they'd be getting hot and steamy in a locker room. Since being in the ED they'd moved on to cupboards now but neither of them could ever forget that second rendezvous on the Darwin ward, way back in the days when she was ruler and he was a rule-breaker. They were still a good match in terms of sex because like any woman, she liked to be pleased and pleasured, thus being submissive in the bedroom had it's advantages. More so now that Sam liked to pull rank, he had an authoritative stance about him which was highly appealing to Connie. It shouldn't get twisted though, she liked to dominate sometimes too, who doesn't? After just a single taste of one another they both wanted more, every time they caught each other's eye on the ward or in theatre she had to fight her own body to stay standing. He on the other hand just wanted to get her alone in a room every time he locked eyes with her. He was **thirsty** for it. Their first night of passion at Connie's house had set a standard, it had begun with an argument followed by a slap. It was their volatile relationship that made that night so intense. Who's to say a second round would match in explosiveness? It might pale in comparison. _

_There was only one way to find out._

 _The board meeting had positively dragged on and on and on for what felt like hours now, Connie felt as though her eyes were drooping with fatigue. She and Sam along with Elliot and Ric were still dressed in Scrubs and were fresh out of theatre whilst the remaining 14 people sat at the long table were dressed appropriately in suits and skirts. It was mostly HR stuff and hospital politics being discussed, hence her sleepy state. It didn't help that Sam was sat beside her yawning every two minutes causing her to do the same. Just when she didn't think it could possibly get any more boring, Kate the HR lady decided to stand up and give a little talk, she took note of Connie checking the time on her watch, she was deliberately emphasising her annoyance at being present and wanted to make sure Kate was aware. Goal achieved._

 _"How much longer do we have to sit here for?" Sam whispered, his leg bouncing with boredom under the table to the left of her. The lanyard around his neck was jingling with each bounce, annoying her almost as much as Kate's dreary voice that she'd only just managed to blank out quite well._

 _"Stop!" Grabbing his leg under the table she ceased his movements instantly, her sharp and aggressive whisper was heard only by Sam as he became still. Her hand was warm and her nails were slightly pressing into his inner right thigh. Not looking his way, she loosened her grip with the intention of letting go upon having finally ended his annoying movements but before she could pull her hand away he clasped his own hand down over hers, locking it in place. She jumped slightly but recovered quickly to remain unobserved. It was a fairly massive table, easily coming up to Connie's lower rib cage as she sat slouched in her chair. The spaces between chairs were considerably large too, they happened to be in a prime spot at the opposite end of the table to where Kate was stood meaning everyone was looking away from their general direction. They both remained still, Connie not knowing what to do and Sam in a state of shock at what he'd actually just done. What if she pulls away and makes a scene? He felt like he was starting to sweat, her hand was just sat motionlessly beneath his, no longer gripping his leg, it was just placed there. Glancing around at the other people nervously he tried to see if anyone was aware of what was going on beneath the varnished wooden table top. Everyone was oblivious. His heart began to slow back down again, going back into a more regular rhythm but his breath hitched suddenly feeling her tighten her hand around his thigh again, she was trying not to smile and her focus was 100% on Kate, she looked like she was listening intently. Keeping her right arm resting on the table she let her left hand do all the work._

 _She felt him slouch down into his seat slowly and quietly as she loosened her grip once again but began sliding her palm up towards his crotch agonisingly slowly. He quickly let go of her hand, moving his own hands to be above the table, grabbing at his pen in a desperate bid to quietly fidget with something as she teased him. Internalising his gasp, he pressed his lips together forcefully, she was stroking at him over his scrubs and he wasn't sure how long he'd last like this. The thrill of being in a public place was a sexual high in itself, never mind Connie moments away from giving him a hand-job during a hospital board meeting. Ceasing the stroking motion, she let the flat of her hand travel up to the waistband of his trousers and pants, her fingernails toying at the elastic holding them in place. In one swift movement she was past the elastic, her hand buried in his pants. Feeling the warmth of her skin on his penis, his legs stiffened under the table, she had him fully in her grip now moving up and down discreetly. He was completely hard and the satisfaction she got from that was an unmatched feeling._

 _"Alright, has anybody got any questions to finish up today's meeting?" Kate's loud final sentence ricocheted through Sam's head, bursting him from his trance. His hands quickly ducked beneath the table and removed Connie's skilful hand from his pants, rubbing at his erection in an attempt to make it go away. "No? Okay, then." She looked around slightly disappointed with the participation in today's meeting. "Well, we'll discuss more on patient welfare in the next meeting, but I'll leave that for you to organise, Mr. Sutherland." She shuffled her papers, having a quick chat with the CEO as everyone else got to their feet and began filing out of the room slowly. Sam was frozen in fear, he couldn't stand up, everyone would see he clearly had an erection. He looked around at everyone leaving and then back to Connie who had an amused look on her face._

 _"Oh ha ha." He scoffed through a whisper, slightly angrily. "How very funny."_

 _"I think it's quite amusing." She whispered seductively into his ear as she stood up, her tongue ever so slightly catching his earlobe and making him shiver._

 _"Ah, Mrs. Beauchamp, I was wondering if I could have a word with you actually." The last two people had just left the room, leaving Sam, Connie and now Mr Sutherland who was after a conversation with Connie. He looked at Sam who was strangely still seated. "Would you mind giving us a moment?"_

 _"No!" He blurted out in a panicked fashion, only to realise how bad it sounded before he blinked slowly and began fumbling on his words. "I mean, no...Sorry, it's just I've been waiting to speak to Mrs Beauchamp about something really important for a while now." He glanced up at her pleadingly, she was obviously getting a kick out of this which was making him even more irate._

 _"I'm sure it can wait-" She smiled but was cut off quickly._

 _"No, it can't! I need to speak to you, now!" He gritted his teeth, inviting Mr Sutherland to clear the air._

 _"It's fine, I can perhaps schedule a short meeting with you on Monday morning. I sense your registrars issue is more important than mine." He smiled. "The board room is free for the rest of the afternoon, you can chat in here if you like the door locks itself from the outside."_ _He grabbed his briefcase and left. Their eyes following him to make sure he was definitely gone._

 _After hearing the click of the door Sam got to his feet at lightening speed, shoving her against the edge of the table roughly. He barely gave her chance to finish her desperate groan before locking lips with her, the furrow in her brow was deep with sexual want as his hands gripped at her hips in an unrestrained manner. It took her a moment to adjust to what was happening, it was ignited so quickly but as she felt his tongue lapping up against hers inside her mouth she moved her hands up to his face hurriedly. Kissing him back now with just as much force, her eyes closed as she moaned into the embrace. It was the sheer urgency of his actions, it had her weak at the knees. With the speed at which things were progressing, she knew she was about to be laying flat on her back on the table in a mere matter of seconds. He was pressing his lower half up against her front, rolling against her and forcing her back over on to the table as his hands travelled further up to support her. In an attempt to stop herself from disengaging in the rough lip-lock she removed her left palm from his face, instead reaching it out behind herself to keep them both from collapsing heavily on to the wooden surface as her right hand gripped aggressively at the collar of his scrubs. Bunching the fabric into her fist she pulled at him forcefully causing him to let go of her body and plant his hands firmly on to the table either side of her as she guided him farther over the top of her. Her left hand and arm helped her remain upright as they continued to let their tongues wrestle violently. Suddenly pulling away from the intense kiss she opened her eyes lazily. They were both panting extremely heavily, a slight sound emitting with each of her gasps for air almost like small moans. Their faces were only millimetres apart and their eyes scanning over one another's facial features passionately._

 _This was definitely not going to be a one off._

* * *

Across town at Sam's house, the mood was just as sullen as it was in Grace's hospital room. Emma was festering. Of course she couldn't let this be known to Sam, how would that make her look? Grace's life was hanging in the balance and she was sat home alone feeling jealous and territorial. This was _not_ how she'd imagined her first pregnancy would go, with Sam's ex also carrying a child belonging to him. Her face was glowing with the light of the TV, her eyes set upon the screen but not taking anything in. She had to keep forcing her own brain to remember this was to save Grace's life, nothing more nothing less but deep down her gut was still not letting it sit well with her. As her mind raced into overdrive her right hand subconsciously smoothed over her bump in a slow but repetitive motion. She was due for a scan tomorrow, she was 18 weeks and they be finding out the sex but coincidentally Connie was booked in for a procedure relating to her pregnancy too. She had no doubts though, Sam would be there, he'd promised.

* * *

"Connie?" He shook her again, a little more roughly this time in order to wake her. She'd fallen asleep in the chair by Grace's bedside. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you but the appointment is in ten minutes." Blinking quickly it took her a few moments to adjust to the light. It was daytime, she knew that much but as for the day, date and time she had no idea. Sam had awoken her as nicely as he could but she was exhausted and was in the deepest sleep imaginable.

"Has she woken up at all this morning?" The sleep was still lingering in her voice as she sat herself up, her face wrinkling with discomfort having slept so awkwardly in the visitor chair.

"No, not yet." Handing her a hot drink he held his own tightly and moved to lean against the window, he'd just opened the curtains allowing the morning light to flood into the room. "We can take it in turns if you like? Staying here? That way you can get some proper rest in a bed."

"I'm fine on the chair." Digging her heels in already she stood up, stretching slightly as she sipped at her drink. "I bumped into Charlie last night on the way back." Her words were growled, a hint of anger showing through.

"Connie-"

"Who else have you decided to fill in on the situation? Perhaps you could pin a notice up on the staff noticeboard to save your breath."

"Charlie is the only person I've spoken to." His face turned stony and his nostrils flared. "You have your way of coping and I have mine." Throwing her own sentence back at her he took another sip of his coffee. "Unlike yourself, I like to talk about my worries and problems, Charlie just happened to pop in and see Grace when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed. Is that okay?" He lied and merely received a scowl in return but tried to remember what Charlie had said, he was right this was a big thing. He just had to keep reminding himself to see things from Connie's position. She was probably nervous about today and thus he stopped himself from going any further and causing a possible argument. "Do you want me in the room for the appointment?"

"I don't care what you do."

"Ah, we're being like this are we?" Throwing his empty takeout cup into the bin he grabbed his phone and jacket before holding the door open for her with a forced smile. "After you."

There were no words spoken as they made their way to appointment, the clicking and stepping of their shoes echoing off one another down the empty corridor until Sam's phone rang out in his back pocket. Stopping abruptly he pulled it out and answered as Connie continued heading in the desired direction. Even as she got further and further away from him, she could still hear his voice. It sounded like he was speaking to Emma. There was a lot of apologising going on, followed by _I'm on my way._ She couldn't help but shake her head to herself. It had started already.

"Connie." He called out loudly, jogging to catch up with her now stationary self, she didn't bother to turn and look at him, she already knew what was coming. "I have to dash over to Emma's 18 week scan, I completely forgot it was today." He sounded harassed. "I'll be twenty minutes max-"

"It's fine." She intersected abruptly, her face showing no emotion. "Do whatever you want, I told you, I don't care." The cold look she gave him chilled his spine. Charlie was right, this was just going to get messier and messier by the day. For the life of him he couldn't muster another word, instead he just watched her walk away and enter the room alone. His heart was well and truly torn. Knowing she was bound to be in a foul and impossible mood now he inhaled deeply and took off in the opposite direction hoping to God Emma wasn't feeling as hostile as Connie.

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?" Her American accent exaggerated her sentence more than ever, the furrow in her brow was deep and unforgiving. She was already laying on the bed, her jumper rolled up and the gel spread across her bump ready for the scan.

"I'm sorry." Closing the door and holding his hands up in surrender he moved swiftly to her side. "I was with Gracie-"

"And Connie." She hissed, quickly looking away from him and letting her eyes focus on the screen displaying their baby.

"I walked her to her appointment, yes." He grimaced, finally sitting down after noticing her concentration was now almost fully on the ultrasound scan and not his whereabouts. "I wouldn't miss this for the world." He squeezed her hand gently, his own eyes glued to the screen now too.

"Okay, so baby is looking fine." The nurse spoke sweetly, having tried her hardest to ignore their squabbling. "All the parts are there and the heartbeat is good and strong." She smiled, moving the scanner head around gently. "And you'd like to find out the sex today?" Smiling over at them both her eyes jumped between the two of them as they turned to face one another. Emma was smiling ecstatically, ultimately making Sam smile the hardest he had in a couple of weeks.

"Yeah, we wanna know today." She beamed happily as she looked at the nurse, her eyes quickly flicking back to her unborn baby on the screen.

"Alright, well I'm happy to report it looks like you're having a happy and healthy baby boy." She smiled wide in response to their reception of the news. Sam could hardly believe his ears, a baby boy. A baby boy that he was going to be _there_ for this time.

"Oh my God." She gasped the whispered words, her brain and heart completely letting go of all the previous anger she was holding. "Did you hear that?" She sobbed happily, her face only centimetres from his as he leant in towards her. His head and emotions were in the room experiencing this news but his heart was stretched corridors away, laying with Connie and she sat alone in her appointment room after he'd promised she wouldn't be going through this alone.

Her own heart was pounding hard and fast. In her mind this was the last of the ugly hurdles, all she wanted to know was whether this baby was a match or not. If it was then she could go on with life and do what needed to be done but if this baby wasn't a match she wasn't so sure if she could go ahead with a termination.

"Mrs Beauchamp." The doctor entered the room quickly, startling her from her deep thoughts. "Sorry to disturb you." He smiled as comfortingly as he could. "My name is Dr Goldman, I'll be the one carrying out the procedure today." Sanitising and getting his gloves out at the ready he began sorting his tray of tools out. "So you're familiar with the procedure of amniocentesis?"

"I'm the ED's clinical lead, so yes, I am familiar." She lay back a bit more on the bed, trying to shake loose some of her worries. "What's your take on the miscarriage risk?"

"I'd say it was relatively low if you're 10 weeks or more, less than 1% and any time before that then the risk of miscarriage is a lot higher." He smiled reassuringly. "You're past the 10 week mark, Mrs Beauchamp so in my professional opinion you have nothing to worry about." Finally having everything laid out and ready he looked over her rigid frame as she lay on the bed, her foot was shaking and her hands fidgeting with one another. "Let's try and relax a little bit more, okay?" He offered her a warm smile to which he didn't receive back but he put it down to nerves.

"Please, let's just get this over with." Slouching down a little more, she looked down at her still smooth abdomen and rolled her polka dotted shirt up.

"First things first, I'm going to do an ultrasound to determine the position of the foetus and placenta." He grabbed the gel whilst talking. "Apologies, this is going to be a little cool despite my efforts to warm it up." He spread the gel around using the scanner head before turning silent as he studied the monitor screen intensely. She couldn't look, she didn't want to let herself feel anything for this baby in case she couldn't go through with the pregnancy. Distancing herself from something that was growing _inside_ her was a lot harder than closing herself off from people around her. Refusing to acknowledge any sign of this unborn baby existing was what helped her to remain disconnected from it. "There we go, there's the head right here." He pointed at the monitor after interrupting her spiralling thoughts. "And there we have the legs and arms." Pointing to each body part respectively, he glanced back only to realise she wasn't looking. Allowing his smile to fade away, he cleared his throat and continued. "The sex of the baby can also be determined from this test we're about to do, if you'd like it to remain unknown I'll note down your wishes and it won't be looked into?"

"I just need to know if this baby is a match for my daughter's stem cell transplant, find out whatever you want about it." His heart tensed slightly at her approach to this whole situation. He'd only met her a mere 5 minutes ago and already he could feel there was something amiss. Setting the scanner head down for a second, he scooted over to his computer on his high stool and began typing quickly before heading back her way. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't make out what he was typing, he was too far away.

"Okay, I think were all ready." Sanitising and re-gloving he grabbed a small needle, flicking it twice before placing two fingers below her belly button and slightly to the left. "I'm giving you a local anaesthetic before we extract the amniotic fluid, it'll just be a little more comfortable for you." Inserting the needle into her skin he pushed down on the syringe, the cool liquid running into her quickly. "I'll leave you to sit for a minute and get all nice and numb before we move on to the next step." Moving back over to his computer he began typing again, he was on patient notes she knew that much for sure but what he was typing she had no idea. It was a good 5 minutes before her lower abdomen started to feel completely numb, signalling it was time to proceed with the amniocentesis.

"And you're sure that's not going to go anywhere it shouldn't?" She asked nervously as she eyed up the gigantic thick needle that was about to pierce her midsection.

"I've located a safe area to insert the needle, said area has been numbed and I'm ready to proceed so long as you're still happy for me to do so?"

"Yes, yes." She shook her head, her eyes fluttering closed as she went limp _waiting_ for this to all be over. "Just do it." With her head back and her eyes lightly closed, her brow twitched slightly at the sensation, although she was numb she could still feel the movement. There was around 40 seconds of quiet as he pushed further and further in, only stopping when he knew he was far enough in before he started to draw up the syringe.

"Alright, I'm taking around 15 to 20 millilitres of amniotic fluid, we're almost there." He soothed as he finished pulling the correct amount of fluid out. "All done, we'll get that sent off as soon as possible." Removing the needle slowly and gently he set it down on the tray before pressing down on the track mark on her abdomen that was now starting to bleed. "I'll get this dressed for you and then I'll do a second ultrasound to see how baby's doing." He did as he'd said he would, dressing her wound nicely before once again checking on the baby and all was well. Everything went smoothly. As she wiped away the gel, careful not to hurt the puncture wound, she listened to his further instructions and rolled her shirt back down, just as Sam knocked lightly and entered the room.

"Sorry to interrupt." Closing the door quietly, he edged his way into the room looking slightly frazzled. "I'm the Father."

"No-no, come on in we're just finishing up." He smiled and turned back to an extremely bemused looking Connie as she got herself up, allowing her legs to hang over the edge of the bed whilst she sat up gently. "You'll need to take it easy for the rest of the afternoon and evening, you might be a little tender and bruised for the next couple of days but I assure you that's all normal."

"And what's abnormal?" Sam butted in, receiving an eye roll from Connie.

"I've provided Mrs Beauchamp with a pamphlet listing all symptoms that are considered irregular, she's to come straight back if she notices any." Although Dr Goldman rambled a bit too much for Connie's liking, she knew he could definitely sense her guards flying up as soon as Sam entered and thus he gave him no major details. And this she credited him for, greatly. "Now, we normally suggest you stay here for 30 minutes or so just to be sure all is well but I understand your daughter is in another ward here? If you'd like to sit with her we can allow that, so long as you stay in the hospital for the next half hour?"

"Yes." She nodded softly. "I'm going back there now, thank you." Getting to her feet she grabbed her jacket and folded it over her arms, hugging it against herself. "How long until we get the results?"

"Ah, well you're probably looking at around a week maybe 10 days. The lab will fast track it for you." He smiled warmly again. "Don't hesitate to pop back in if you experiencing any major discomfort, okay?" He spoke kindly as he moved over to the door, politely holding it open for the both of them.

That's it, it was all over and done with in less than 20 minutes. But now came the most excruciating part, waiting for the results. She just wanted to know _now_ and have it off her mind.

"So, how was everything?" He asked eagerly, walking slightly behind her. She just wanted to get back to Grace.

"Fine."

"And they obviously did an ultrasound-"

"Yes, Sam." She huffed irately, shoving the door open as he tried to get ahead and do it for her. He was fussing and it was already beginning to annoy her. "I think I can manage opening a door by myself, thanks." Her sarcasm sliced through the air sharply.

"He said to take it easy-"

"It's a _door_." Shaking her head she pushed past him and entered Grace's private room. As soon as she was in she placed her jacket over the back of the chair, poured herself a glass of water and sat down. Grace was still fast asleep but she seemed to be doing as well as she could be and her doctor was happy with her progress through the treatment so far.

"I'm just saying, you're carrying precious cargo-"

"Alright, enough!" She snapped, her eyes almost darkened with anger as she looked up at him. "I know the gravity of the situation, it's been weighing on my mind every day since we made this choice, so do me a favour and _back off._ " She growled angrily. "Save your time and effort for your fiancee and _her_ unborn child because I _cannot_ allow you to stick around here for the moments you want to deal with and disappear whenever you want! Because _this_ is what it'll always be like, you racing off between us, jumping ship whenever you feel it's necessary." Breathing heavily she didn't allow him to cut in as he so badly wanted to. "You choose _now_. So long as you're stringing Emma along, you can stay the hell away from me because I _will not_ let this baby be second best."

"Connie-"

"No! I mean it, you make a decision." She held her hand up, silencing him immediately. "And you're right, we should take this in turns. That way we can avoid one another as well." Speaking more calmly and quietly now she was still breathing harshly due to her erratic outburst.

"So, what? That's it, you're giving me an ultimatum?" He was taken aback although he ought to have seen it coming, this whole situation was a complete mess and part of him really couldn't blame her for the fury she was feeling but another part of him was exasperated at how she was choosing to deal with this. "I _told_ you, I'm working on it, you can't just expect me to finish it-"

"No, _you_ can't expect _me_ to carry on waiting for you to do something! I will not wait around forever. The _only_ thing I care about right now is Grace."

"Why are you two always arguing?" Her small, feeble voice made them both jump, turning to look at her quickly. She looked sleepy and annoyed but regardless they couldn't help but smile down at her.

"We weren't arguing." Sam started with a smile, his voice lighter in tone and sweeter on the ear.

"No, no we were just having a discussion." Connie added, her demeanour instantly changing. Stroking her hand softly she sat forward in her seat to get closer to her. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." She yawned. "When can I go home?" Sitting herself up she leant forward as Connie stood to rearrange her pillows for her, helping her to settle back into them before retaking her seat. The furrow in her brow as she sat down best expressed the discomfort she was feeling. It was very similar to the pain experienced following a blood test only one hundred times worse and it felt deep in her abdomen, almost as if her midsection was really badly bruised.

"You okay?" He inched towards her in a protective manner, his big brown eyes were full of concern.

"Stop it." She warned, turning her head discreetly and whispering the words sharply so Grace couldn't hear. All he could do was roll his eyes in response, inhaling deeply to keep himself collected.

"Mum?" Gaining her Mother's attention again, she awaited a response.

"I don't know Gracie, we have to make sure you're doing well enough before you can come home." She soothed, her smile turning into more of a sympathetic one.

"But the doctor said I was doing really well, can't we just ask him if I can leave?" Looking from her Mother and back up to her Father she couldn't help but perceive their silence as a bad thing. The broken look on her pale face pulled at Connie's heart strings, her temper fighting with her heart as she felt her anger peak. Sam was heading further into the room, ready to sit down.

And he was sat.

"You know what, you're Dad was just leaving so maybe he could find Dr Maison and send him this way?" Not looking his way she carried on rubbing her arm softly, Sam looking on at her in utter shock.

"Am I?" His brows knitted together furiously, she couldn't stop him from seeing his daughter like this.

"Yes." Blinking rapidly she faked a confused expression. "Weren't you just saying Emma needed you for something?" She lied.

"I haven't even seen Emma yet." Grace frowned sadly, interrupting the well managed quarrel her parents were currently having. "Is the baby okay?" As she spoke, Sam's phone buzzed on the table next to him where he'd set it down before perching himself in the chair. He was seated on the opposite side of the bed to Connie.

"That might be her now, maybe you should get it?" Connie bit, inviting him to scowl at her, all the while Grace had become oblivious, trying to rearrange her bed-sheet as they had gotten tangled around her legs.

He gritted his teeth upon looking at his phone screen, 3 missed calls from Emma and now a text asking where he was. The sharp inhale of air through his teeth told Connie she was right, it was indeed Emma.

"The baby?" He picked up where Grace's question was left hanging after texting Emma back. Starting to smile wide, he continued. "Well, _he's_ absolutely fine." Grace's beaming face matched his own but he couldn't help noticing Connie's strange reaction. She almost looked hurt.

" _He_?! You mean I'm going to have a baby brother?!" She grinned cheekily, the excitement being a nice change from what she'd been experiencing the last couple of weeks.

His face relaxed quickly, his wide smile vanishing along with the twinkle in his eye. Not taking his eyes off of Connie before he quickly got down to the matter at hand. He really needed to sort things out. "Look, I'll tell you all about it later I promise, I'll go and see if I can find Dr Maison and I'll be back later tonight, okay?" He stood to kiss her forehead, giving a sullen looking Connie a deflated look on the way back up. "Your Mum and I are going to take it in turns, I'll stay tonight, she'll stay tomorrow." Connie squinted her eyes at him, he was calling shots now too, attempting to overthrow her power.

She ignored his exit despite him trying to catch her attention, she couldn't really face him right now. For the moment, she just felt like she needed to be alone, have some time to herself to let all of this sink in. The next week was going to be hell as they waited in limbo to find out the results from the amniocentesis. At the same time as fretting about Grace and this pregnancy she still couldn't rattle Sam out of her brain, which further angered her because she wasn't like this. This was _not_ Connie Beauchamp behaviour at all. Sharing a man with another woman was one thing but hanging around waiting for him to decide who he should be with was becoming _very_ boring and _very_ quickly. The old Connie would have hit him where it hurts and told him where to stick it but she felt far too comfortable having him around now, almost _attached_. It actually felt nice after ten or so years doing this parenting thing alone. And now Gracie was sick and a second child was being dragged into the equation just to add to the difficulty rating of her life. She _hated_ to even think it let alone admit it but she _needed_ him. Not just for their daughter or their unborn child but for moral support as well. She needed him for _herself._

She didn't want to push him out and go through this alone, but her way of coping was to do exactly that.


	14. Chapter 14

***Thank you all so much for the reviews, really appreciate you taking the time to do that and it really helps with motivation as well. Hope you all enjoy this next chapter! Also, I never tend to write Connie and Sam as being soppy/romantic because that's just never how I imagine them to be but in the correct circumstances, I can envisage it and translate that. I hope that makes sense. Lol. XX***

 _She ignored his exit despite him trying to catch her attention, she couldn't really face him right now. For the moment, she just felt like she needed to be alone, have some time to herself to let all of this sink in. The next week was going to be hell as they waited in limbo to find out the results from the amniocentesis. At the same time as fretting about Grace and this pregnancy she still couldn't rattle Sam out of her brain, which further angered her because she wasn't like this. This was not Connie Beauchamp behaviour at all. Sharing a man with another woman was one thing but hanging around waiting for him to decide who he should be with was becoming very boring and very quickly. The old Connie would have hit him where it hurts and told him where to stick it but she felt far too comfortable having him around now, almost attached. It actually felt nice after ten or so years doing this parenting thing alone. And now Gracie was sick and a second child was being dragged into the equation just to add to the difficulty rating of her life. She hated to even think it let alone admit it but she needed him. Not just for their daughter or their unborn child but for moral support as well. She needed him for **herself**._

 _She didn't want to push him out and go through this alone, but her way of coping was to do exactly that._

* * *

There was a slight shadow of guilt in her step as she walked into the ED, making a beeline to her office as she noted how busy it was. Ethan and Elle were pulling together as best they could to make up for the absence of herself and Sam. She merely wanted to pick up a few items and head straight up to Grace before her follow up appointment with Dr Goldman. It had been eleven days and her test results were back in. Needless to say she hadn't informed Sam and fully intended to go alone. In fact, she'd hardly spoken to him since their hushed quarrel by Grace's bedside, she could only assume when he wasn't worrying about Grace he was far too busy fussing over Emma and their unborn son to even give her a second thought, so why bother filling him in if he wasn't even bothering to ask.

"I wasn't prying the other day, I hope you know that?" Charlie's voice snuck up on her as she was bent over, rummaging through her lower desk drawer.

"Jesus, Charlie you scared me." Exhaling slowly she stood up straight to look at him before speaking softly. "I know, sorry I reacted the way I did."

"No apology needed." He smiled and entered her office, closing the door a fraction behind himself. "How's Grace doing?"

"As good as she can be, considering the circumstances." Offering him a not so convincing smile, she looked down awaiting his next question which she automatically knew would involve the topic of pregnancy.

"When do you get your amniocentesis results back?" His voice was heavy with concern and his worried face warmed her heart.

"Today, actually." Clearing her throat she shuffled the papers in her hands and kicked herself back into movement. "I'm going up to sit with Grace before the appointment." Carefully stashing the papers away into her bag, Charlie watched on as he tried to phrase his wording cautiously.

"And Sam's meeting you there?"

"No, I'm going alone. That's how this whole scenario is going to pan out in the long-run anyway, so I may as well just get used to it now." Her words quickly became volatile and her actions more sharp as she rammed her bag closed. Her anger clearly peeking through the calm and collected exterior she'd painted on for everyone around her.

"Connie-"

"It's fine." She interrupted abruptly, taking a second to cool her temper before speaking more delicately. "I'm fine, it's just a short follow-up appointment, I don't need anyone there to hold my hand." Collecting her coat and bag she finally turned to look at him, making eye contact for the first time during this whole exchange.

"And what if it's not good news?" His grey eyebrows knitted together on his pink face causing her to soften her stony expression. Truth be told, she was dreading the news. What if this baby wasn't a match and she was faced with having to make the decision of possibly having to get an abortion? Her thoughts were so transparent, she may as well have had them presented in the form of a neon sign above her head. She didn't even need to answer. "I've got a break coming up soon." He smiled and headed towards the door before turning to face her again. "You're not going alone. I'll see you up there." He didn't receive a response, telling him that she was happy to have his support.

* * *

Even having his pillow clamped over his head wouldn't blur out the noise downstairs. His fists were clenched tightly as he wrapped it over his skull with even more force. Grace had taken a turn for the worse earlier in the week so he'd been up all night by her bedside before coming home at 7am to try and get some decent sleep in an _actual_ bed but Emma had her friends over from America visiting for the next couple of weeks. He was already livid with her for having invited them without asking, not that she needed his permission but at such a sensitive time he thought she would have at least consulted him on the matter. To make matters worse, his Mother had also popped over, uttering her pure disappointment at the state of the house and thus began hoovering and dusting around everyone. Admittedly, he'd let things slip with being at the hospital so much but that didn't matter to her. She was one of those _appearances matter_ type of people. So here she was, cleaning.

"I can't do this." He whispered to himself manically, his eyes bloodshot red. The last week had honestly been a living hell. Emma was in full swing with the wedding plans as well as simultaneously organising a baby shower _way_ ahead of time. He felt like he was suffocating and the _only_ topic on his mind was Grace, shadowed closely by Connie. An eruption of girlish laughter downstairs was enough to rile him up out of bed. Throwing the sheets back aggressively as he launched his pillow across the room he snatched his duffel bag from the wicker chair in the corner and began throwing clothes messily inside. A rickety visitor's chair in Grace's hospital room beat this torture hands down, perhaps he could even sneak a couple of hours kip in the on-call room between waking hours? He didn't really care at this point. It was almost as if Emma had completely forgotten about Grace and what she was going through. As if just because Connie was now pregnant and carrying this saviour sibling meant all was well. It made his blood boil. After throwing on some clothes he grabbed his bag and hit the stairs in a hurry, coming face to face with his Mother at the last step.

"Sam?" Glancing over his rough appearance, along with his packed bag her face contorted into a frown. "Where are you going?"

"I can't just sit at home festering, Mum." He edged past her and headed into the kitchen to get his keys, his Mother close behind him with one thousand and one questions ready to fire. "I need to be with Grace, Emma will understand."

"You can't sleep in that chair _every_ night Sam, you'll get a bad back!"

"A bad back doesn't really _compare_ to the pain Grace and Connie are experiencing right now, Mum. I think I'll survive." His words remained calm yet icy, spoken through a clenched jaw and gritted teeth. He remained with his back to her as he raided the cupboard for snacks to take along with him, including Grace's favourites. Maltesers.

"Ah, Connie." She hissed with a curled lip. "I should've known she'd have something to do with this-"

"To do with what?" He turned around swiftly, his temper now spiking.

"You swanning off to her rescue, she's got you twisted around her little finger just like she did when you first started working in that Godforsaken hospital! You've got a lovely fiancee right here who is _also_ pregnant and needs your support, Connie's not going through anything that your fiancee isn't-" Suddenly his booming voice cut her off and silenced her immediately, her eyes wide with shock.

"Do you have _any idea_ what she's going through right now?! If this baby isn't a match for Grace's transplant, she'll have to terminate the pregnancy! She'll have just enough time to recover physically before she has to go through artificial insemination all over _again_ regardless of her mental and emotional state!" He roared angrily, his own emotions finally getting the better of him. "So _excuse me_ if I show a little concern for her, she's got the weight of this all resting on her shoulders! She's bringing another life into this world to save our daughter, _your_ granddaughter! I don't know what part of all of that _isn't_ remarkable enough for you?" His ferocious yells were so loud they silenced the ongoing party in the living room, inviting Emma to enter the kitchen with a look of pure shock painted across her face.

"Sam, what the hell is going on?" Her disturbed expression flickered from his red and raging face to his Mother's subdued and hurt body language.

"Nothing, just go back to your friends, they've come all this way to see you." He spat, not once looking her way. "I'm going to sit with Grace for a while."

"Why are you taking a bag?" Her lip quivered. "You're gonna stay there?"

"I just-" He took a moment to collect his thoughts before looking down and sighing heavily, finally glancing her way. "I just need to be with Grace right now. She needs me." His voice was remarkably softer now, even though he was incredibly irate with her he didn't want to storm out on a sour note, it'd only bother him more. "Spend some time with your friends, I'll be back in a couple of days when Gracie's out of the woods and feeling a little better." She looked slightly remorseful at his spoken words, she'd hardly asked about Grace recently. She was too wrapped up in her friends and the _happily ever after_ she so desperately wanted them to see she was going to have with her Medical Director husband.

"How long will you be gone-"

"I don't know." He interrupted, his back to her as he halted in the doorway. "You can call or text me if you need me, but at the moment Grace is coming first." The silence behind him felt prickly but her soft voice rippled through the air after a few seconds of quiet.

"I understand." Pausing sadly, she rubbed her growing bump with one hand as the other pushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "Give her my love, won't you?" His bowed head told her he'd heard what she'd said, her heart sinking as he disappeared down the hall and out of the front door.

* * *

She'd been sat in the cafe outside of the hospital for close to an hour now, her appointment over and done with in less than twenty minutes. Charlie remained lovingly by her side the entire time and she couldn't have been more grateful. As soon as she'd entered the room her heart had began beating so fast and hard she feared it would give out on her. She stared blankly into her empty coffee mug, the foam still sliding down the inside. Her phone rigid in her grip as her thumb hovered indecisively over Sam's name in her contacts. She wanted to call him and tell him but once again her brain and heart were at odds. Her fantastic brain fiercely arguing with her hopeless heart in an attempt to protect her from heartbreak and letdown. Her brain won. Quickly tapping the home button she turned her phone off and slid it back into her coat pocket and got to her feet. Why should she chase after him? He should be asking her questions, he should be _involved_ like he promised he would be if she went ahead with this pregnancy. And where was he?

The walk back to Grace's room gave her an extra ten minutes to mull things over but upon arriving, she still felt clueless and lost. Her heart skipped a beat as she reached the door, Sam was slouched in the chair by Grace's bed. That skip soon turned into rage, this was _her_ time to be with Grace. Entering the room loudly she startled him from his slumber. He looked awful and her anger quickly diminished. He hadn't shaved, his eyes were red and tired, his clothes untucked and untidy. He looked far away from the Sam Strachan she knew.

"Sorry." She closed the door more quietly than she opened it, the guilt sweeping over her body like a cool blanket. "I didn't know you were in here." She lied.

"Yeah, I just wanted to be here with her." His voice was husky and fatigued as he sat up and stretched. "I know you said-"

"It's fine." She halted him kindly. "She'll want you here too." Her eyes scanned over him and to the corner of the room where she clocked the duffel bag. "Are you uh, moving in?" Taking her coat off gently she draped it over her own chair on the opposite side of the bed to him before standing beside it.

"Oh don't." He sighed exhaustedly, rubbing at his face with both hands causing his words to become muffled. "I needed to get out of there, those screeching women and my _bloody_ mother..." He trailed off and looked at her sadly. "I'll sleep in the on-call room on the nights you want to stay with her-"

"You can stay at mine." She interjected his sleepy sentence, forcing him to stop talking and stare at her in shock. "Obviously, the nights I'm here you'll be there and vice versa."

"Thank you." He finally breathed with relief after a long silence. He leant back in the chair, moving his focus back to Grace. "How has she been this morning?"

"Fine, I think." Her own eyes travelled over to their sleeping daughter, she hadn't woken up at all this morning and it was nearing midday. She could't shed any more light on Grace whilst her mind remained plagued by the results she'd just received. "Sam-"

"I just hate all of this waiting around." He interrupted emotionally, leaning forward again. Her worried gaze studying his worn out features. Licking her lips anxiously she opened her mouth to speak again, hoping he wouldn't interrupt.

"Actually, that's what I was just about to talk to you about." She clenched her jaw briefly, her eyes darting down to her lap as soon as he looked her way. The words were balanced on the tip of her tongue, nerves getting the better of her now that she had his full attention. "She's a match." There was almost ten seconds of silence following her fragile confession before he managed to respond.

"What?" He whispered, his mouth dry and his brow wrinkled with confusion.

"The baby, she's a match." Her lip trembled as she spoke, a quiver in her voice as she felt her throat constricting in an attempt to force the tears back. "I got the results this morning."

" _She_?" The pure joy in his voice was overwhelming, his lower lids supporting the heaviest, happiest most relief filled tears he'd ever produced. He was up on his feet in seconds whilst she nodded in response, unable to utter another word for fear of breaking down but that was about to happen anyhow as he moved around the end of the bed towards her. His left hand snaked under her arm and came to rest gently on her lower back as he initiated a hug. Her body tense, her brain and heart in battle once more but the intense rush of emotions saw her heart win this round triumphantly. She remained rigid for only a second or two before melting into his embrace, his other arm now wrapped around her tightly too as his right hand gripped at the back of her neck pulling her as close to his body as possible. She mirrored the hug, much to his relief. Her right hand gripping at his shirt above his right hip and her left hand doing the same in the middle of his back. The material balled tightly into her small fists and her arms tight to his torso, she tried to harness her emotions but she was completely overwhelmed. She didn't have to worry about anything but Grace now and the news she'd just received was the biggest weight off of her shoulders. Sniffling quietly, her head remained nestled under his chin and the left side of her face resting on his upper chest, her tears marking his crumpled shirt. They fit together perfectly, like two jigsaw pieces. She could feel his heart beating in her own chest, they were pulled that closely together. Their heartfelt embrace was only brief as Charlie accidentally intruded on the soft moment.

"Ah, sorry, I didn't know you were - I should've knocked." He started retreating back through the doorway as they pulled away from one another quickly, both still highly emotional. Connie immediately faced the opposite direction, wiping under her eyes swiftly as Sam blinked rapidly and looked up at the ceiling in a desperate bid to not look as though he'd been weeping. The older nurse stopped moving, a warm smile gracing his face. "I take it you've just got the good news?"

"The best news." He laughed exasperatedly, his brows framing his eyes sweetly.

"I guess I can say _congratulations_ now?" He chuckled hearing Connie let a small laugh out in between dabbing at her eyes still. "Another girl." He marvelled. "And I'll bet you anything she's just as strong as her big sister, all you have to do is look at their Mother." Speaking sweetly, he folded his lips, taking in the happy sight before him. These three people needed this today, it was a huge step in the best possible direction and he only prayed it'd continue to improve from here onwards. "Right, well I was just popping in to see how you were doing but I'll leave you to it." Receiving tearful nods in return he left the room smiling. The sun was finally peeking out from behind the dark clouds that had been hanging over them for the last few weeks. The room fell comfortably silent following his departure before Sam's shaky exhale caught her attention. She'd taken a seat, her body finally feeling relaxed for the first time in a long time. Following his sigh, her eyes landed upon his frame and followed him as he moved to the window, gazing out of it wistfully. He felt as though the afternoon sun had made an appearance especially for this news and it was warming the room nicely.

"Sometimes I feel like things happen for a reason, you know? Like it's meant to be." His voice was still jaded and his nose now sounded stuffy following the reassuring news they'd just shared. "You and me-"

"Sam, please don't." She began softly, her eyes fluttering shut with dread. She didn't want things to turn sour with an argument about relationships, not after the positive moment they'd just had.

"No, I want you to hear this, please." Turning back to face her, he merely looked like a silhouette with glaring sun behind him shining through the window. "You and Grace have been the only thought in my mind for the last few weeks and I can't carry on ignoring that." He paused, glancing at his shoes for a moment. "You were right to say all the stuff you said last week and all the times before that, in fact. I never wanted this, us, to turn into something secretive of underhand and I can't shake this feeling."

"And what about Emma?" She croaked delicately, she knew where this talk was headed but she didn't want to get her hopes up too soon.

"Emma will be fine." He sounded so confident and sure of his words causing Connie's brows to pull together in puzzlement.

"You're engaged and she's _also_ carrying your child-"

"I think I just slot nicely into her perfect idea of living happily ever after." He laughed in a small manner. "She's got her heart set on heading back to America before the baby is born, talking about her parents ranch that she wants to live on and that's just...not me. It's not _love. S_ he's just in love with idea of being in love." He shrugged. "I'm not prepared to moved across the world again. If I really did love her I'd be prepared to go anywhere and do anything to keep the flame going but I'm not." He frowned. "And I'm not leaving Grace again. I can't." His eyes finally reached hers. "I'm not leaving _you_ again." He finished his piece without being interrupted, she looked a little taken aback but by all means she appeared content and relaxed, almost as if the news had calmed her mind even further. Not wanting things to become awkward or have her feel as though she had to somehow reciprocate his words, he quickly rubbed the back of his neck and pushed himself away from the windowsill, returning to his seat. "Two girls." He smiled proudly before looking a little perplexed. "How do you know the sex already, you're not far enough along?"

"The amniocentesis." She cleared her throat, still revelling in his velvety sentences from only moments ago. "It can determine the sex earlier than a scan."

"Of course." He breathed. "You uh, didn't mention the appointment was this morning..." He trailed off as her heart sank.

"I wanted to be alone, I didn't know how I'd react if the news wasn't good." She swallowed hard. "Having you there would have just enhanced my reaction, whether it was good or bad."

"Well I promise you, I'll be here every step of the way. Please, don't shut me out this time?" He blinked contentedly following her tearful nod, her hand once again having to come up and stem the tears from falling. This wave of serenity washing over her felt blissful and pure.

But sadly it'd be short-lived.

 ***Apologies, there is no 'kinky' scene in this chapter even though that's the whole point of this fic but there just didn't seem to be a place to slot one in this time. It was a very emotional chapter lol. But this is a one off. I promise. XX***


	15. Chapter 15

***Thank you so much to all of those who read and review, I deeply appreciate it! I hope you enjoy this next chapter! XX***

 _"Of course." He breathed. "You uh, didn't mention the appointment was this morning..." He trailed off as her heart sank._

 _"I wanted to be alone, I didn't know how I'd react if the news wasn't good." She swallowed hard. "Having you there would have just enhanced my reaction, whether it was good or bad."_

 _"Well I promise you, I'll be here every step of the way. Please, don't shut me out this time?" He blinked contentedly following her tearful nod, her hand once again having to come up and stem the tears from falling. This wave of serenity washing over her felt blissful and pure._

 _But sadly it'd be short-lived._

* * *

They were soundless. Their actions slow, gentle and loving. Something they were both _extremely_ capable of despite what anyone said about them. The sex they normally had together was fiery, explosive and rough but not this time. This time it was sensual and caring, quiet but more meaningful than any other time together. Their noses only millimetres apart and their lips brushing together lightly between kisses. Laying beneath him, her hands were caressing his neck and jawline as he slowly rocked over her, the sheets beneath them becoming a wrinkled mess. Their eye contact was broken when her eyes fluttered shut, the intensity too much to handle. Reinitiating the kiss once more, he held himself up over her with his left forearm beside her rib cage, his right hand smoothing down to her thigh and pulling it up gently over his hip. He felt her breath hitch, a sound finally hitting the still and heavy air as she hummed into the lip-lock, a newfound pleasure coming from the position he'd put her in.

"Mmmm." Breaking the kiss, she opened her eyes slightly and gazed up at him in the dark. His own eyes glistening back at her in the tiny bit of moonlight peeking through her bedroom window. Keeping her left hand below his ear she allowed the other to venture beneath the duvet, raking her nails down over his side to his lower back before resting on his hip and squeezing tightly. The small gesture was also a signal for him to pick up the pace, which he gladly indulged in. She gasped at the sensation of his quickened movements before she was silenced again with a kiss. A little more rough in nature this time, their tongues dancing harmoniously as he let out a throaty growl displaying the amount of pleasure she was bringing him as she too rolled her hips faster to match him. Their breathing was laboured, the sounds of their short pants intertwining in the air, both of them close to climaxing. The slow build-up possibly made this time even more satisfying. He certainly felt so, and she was feeling particularly more horny at the moment too with her hormones flying all over the place. Feeling herself nearing the edge, her brows pulled together with pleasure as she broke the kiss once again with a groan. Her mouth gaping slightly as her hand came back up from his hip to mirror the other on his neck and jaw. His head dropped, moving slightly to her right as he planted his lips onto her clavicle, diverting his affection there as she could no longer keep up with the kissing. She could feel him breathing heavily onto the skin of her shoulder, the sound right next to her ear whilst she struggled to harness her own breathing. Each panted breath was now coming out quicker and shorter in length, the sound of them increasing in volume as he brought her closer and closer to peaking. She couldn't remain quiet as she climaxed, allowing her vocal chords to join in she made sure he knew how he'd made her feel. She rode out the wave, her brows still furrowed, her lids flickered shut and her mouth still gaping but she was silent with pleasure as she continued to roll her hips, a little more irregularly now as she suffered the aftershocks of her own orgasm. He was close behind, her climax leading him to his as he groaned into her skin loudly, his body stiffening with his release before moving slowly back to her mouth and kissing her though her pleasure-filled whimpers. Their movements very gradually slowing down and their breathing becoming more controlled and subdued through their tender liplock until finally, they were motionless. Their lips still locked together lazily as they enjoyed the kiss.

This was it. This felt _right._

The morning sun crept up on both of them, barely brightening her room but it was enough to wake her from the blissful slumber. That's how it always felt upon waking, until the painful, dull ache hit her. Grace was alone in hospital enduring an aggressive form of treatment yet here they were, her parents wrapped up naked beneath a duvet. It's not as if they'd just abandoned her, in fact Dr Maison had come in to chat to them in regards to Grace's progress and told them she wouldn't wake any time soon due to the pain meds she was on. So, following his instruction, they both went home for the night to get some well-needed rest. He'd assessed that Sam looked a little worse for wear, whilst Connie looked drained but that was hardly surprising considering she was in the early stages of pregnancy, the most tiring few weeks as the body adjusts. Needless to say, Sam had accompanied Connie back to hers as they'd previously discussed. He couldn't face going back to Emma and her gang of girlfriends. Having said that, he hadn't fully expected to jump into bed with Connie either, it just sort of happened but it always did with her. It was a strange thing, the spark between them, for the most part he couldn't fathom it but a part of him didn't want to either.

"Sam." She managed to croak out a whisper as she sat up sleepily, clutching the duvet over herself. "Sam." Giving him a shake, it took him a moment to come to before sitting up quickly, he looked a little shell-shocked but relaxed upon realising where he was and what happened last night.

"Good morning." His mouth curled into a smile on one side before frowning, his eyes lazy with sleep. The incessant ringing in his dream apparently wasn't in his dream. Looking around he rubbed at his face with one hand as the other searched the bedside table for his phone, jumping a little when her hand appeared before his face with said ringing mobile.

"It's your Mum." Curling her words expertly, her eyes rolled at the mere mentioning of the woman. "It's the second time this morning." Raising her brows she watched his face contort with anger before standing up and taking the duvet with her, leaving Sam beneath only the sheet. She decided to go and get showered and give him some privacy to speak to the absolute dragon.

* * *

"What did she want, your Mother?" Walking behind him, clean in some black trousers and a white shirt tucked in loosely, she reached up into the kitchen cupboard to grab the new box of tea-bags. Her hair and makeup looking as flawless as ever despite her tired complexion.

"Already made you one." Glancing behind himself, he watched her set the PG Tips box down, a slight smile on her face as she moved to the opposite side of the table to face him, leaning on the counter behind her.

"Thanks." Picking the warm mug up, she held it close to her neck and chest between sips. Her eyes glancing over his still exhausted being, he was hunched over a black coffee. The steam rising slowly, almost in time with the slowness of the clouds outside floating by. It was overcast, unlike the glorious sun they had yesterday. One might have even said there was a storm brewing. "You uh, still didn't say what your Mum called for."

"Yes, she's _decided_ it'd be a great idea for her and Emma to visit Grace today." Before he could get the next word out she'd already stepped forward to voice her protests but he raised his hand and halted her. "I know, I know. I told her it wasn't a good time, that Gracie isn't really up to any visitors."

"But?" She probed, sensing there was more to this story. Her temper twisting with anger.

"She's already there-"

"What?" She spat furiously, setting her mug down so quickly the tea splashed out on her table top. "She's not well, Sam! She needs-"

"I know!" He stood up, moving around to her, his hand wrapping gently around her upper arm. "I know. She's not inside yet, they're having a coffee. Waiting for me."

"Absolutely not."

"Connie-"

"No, Sam, I will not have our daughter at risk of infection whilst she's having chemotherapy because strangers want to go in and out willy-nilly-" She shrugged out of his grip, snatching her keys from the counter.

"Her _grandmother_ is hardly a stranger!" He laughed, slightly irked and perplexed at her behaviour. "We can't deny her visiting rights, she's her granddaughter."

"I will not allow it." Carefully growling each word thoroughly, she let it sink in that this was something she wasn't going to let happen. Grabbing her coat from the back of the chair, she brushed past him. Her perfume intoxicating his senses for only a second. He couldn't stop her when she was like this, nobody could.

"Lord, please give me strength." He whispered to himself, looking up as if really begging a higher power to help him out. Sighing heavily, he clasped hold of his own jacket, hot on her tail out of the front door. This was going to be an _extremely_ stressful day.

The majority of the car journey was silent, aside from her drumming fingernails on the steering wheel as she drove rather speedily to the hospital. They'd both gone home in Connie's car and left Sam's parked at the hospital, he was far too fatigued to be behind the wheel yesterday. It was only as they approached the hospital car park that Sam opened his mouth nervously to speak.

"Look, my Mum and Emma don't know that I was at y-"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't say anything, I've got it." Snapping back at him as she pulled into her parking space, she yanked the handbrake up and turned the car off before sighing deeply. Her eyes closing as she faltered getting out of the car. "Sorry, I'm just - I'm tired and-"

"It's fine." He cut her off calmly, his hand reaching over to hers delicately. Giving it a reassuring squeeze, he could see she was in some sort of turmoil. "And you're right, we don't want people milling in and out of Grace's room so frequently. Especially if my Mum's been around my sister's kids, who knows what kind of germs she could be carrying."

"I'm not purposely trying to be the bad guy, Sam." She defended her decision but at the same time had seen some light, he was speaking truth. Refusing anyone to see Grace would ultimately just make things worse, more so for her daughter. Grace needed everyone who loved her around her right now, supporting her. "They can visit, alright. Just make sure necessary precautions are taken." She didn't look his way as she talked, not wanting a whole big song and dance to occur at her quick change of heart.

"Thank you." He smiled through his sentence, once again squeezing her hand sweetly. He was grateful she was backing down because starting a battle with his Mother wasn't something he wanted to do right now, there was already too much going on. "I'll see you up there." Letting go, he stepped out of her car before turning around and leaning through the door prior to closing it. "I'm going to speak to Emma today too, I promise." She could do nothing but offer him a small and disbelieving smile, the happiness wasn't reflected in her eyes though.

* * *

"You won't be able to hide it forever, you know?" Charlie once again snuck up on her in her office, this time closing the door behind himself as he let himself in. She was sat at her desk, deep in thought. Even though officially she wasn't working, she would seek solace in her office from time to time.

"Hide what?"

"I know this baby isn't a result of artificial insemination." Stating the fact so surely, she could do nothing but stare up at him silently. "You were already pregnant, weren't you?" He noted her sudden glance downwards, a cue to him that she was about to change the subject.

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it." The glum sentence slightly surprised him. He was half expecting her to deny all acknowledgement of what he'd just said but instead she more or less admitted he was right. "How did you know?" Her lips managed a small smile, despite the circumstances.

"Sam accidentally let slip you were just over 10 weeks before the amniocentesis."

"That man is a loose cannon." She licked her lips, leaning forward over her desk with a dry laugh but it faded quickly, her brain plagued with thoughts.

"This _bridge_ you're going to cross is going to sneak up on you pretty fast-"

"Yes, Charlie. I know." Breathing harshly she recollected herself, her mood swings were something else at the moment and she was repeatedly lashing out at everyone around her. "Oh God, I'm sorry, I'm just so-" She rubbed at her face exasperatedly. "So tired of not being able to _do_ anything for her. My _own_ daughter and I have to just sit and watch." Venting frustratedly, she glanced back over at him whilst he took a seat on her office couch.

"But you _are_ doing something, Connie." He smiled, motioning towards her general direction. "You're carrying a second child to save her. Aside from that, all you can really do is just be there for her." He scanned the room quietly as she contemplated his words. "Speaking of, I thought you'd be up there now?"

"Yeah, well." She huffed. "Sam's Mother wanted to visit and as much as I want to push through it, I cannot sit in the same room as that woman. Not to mention there'll be a thousand questions thrown my way and Sam and I haven't exactly got our lies planned out with one another yet."

"Are you going to tell Grace?"

"Didn't I just say I'd have all of this to deal with from Audrey? I don't need you hassling me about it as well, Charlie." With the venom back in her bite she didn't wince or visibly seem to regret that attack, which suggested to Charlie that perhaps he deserved it. "I'm thirteen weeks, I'm barely even showing, I've got a little time to work it out." Her words sounded as though they were more for her own reassurance than to answer his question but he didn't want to harass her further.

"Actually, I meant will you tell her that this baby is to save her?" The question was met with nothing, not even a facial expression. She looked blank and tired.

"What would you do?" Finally speaking more softly, she relaxed her guard. Genuinely wanting to know because honestly, she didn't have a clue what to do.

"Me? Well, I'd tell her the truth." He folded his lips together, his little pink face contrasting harshly with his white hair and dark blue scrubs. "There already seems to be quite a lot of lies going on and the more you add, the messier it will be. Just tell her the truth, it'll save any heartache in the long-run." He finally made eye contact with her, she looked understanding if not a little torn now.

"That's what Sam wants to do." She admitted quietly, now rethinking her whole approach to this situation.

"I think Sam's a little tired of all the lies he's tangled up in too. He looks exhausted. It'll only be a matter of time before he slips up if he keeps going the way he is." He flashed her a sympathetic gaze before attempting to salvage the discussion and point it towards a more positive direction. "But it's good news that you've surpassed the twelve week mark, that must be another weight of your shoulders I imagine?"

"Hm?" She looked absent, her mind far away as she tried to put herself back into the conversation. "Oh, yes, of course." Glimpsing down at her desk, she fiddled incessantly with a pen lid as she answered him, there was something troubling her. He could feel it in her behaviour.

"I'm always here, you know? If you want to chat or vent, all you have to do is sit in here minding your own business and I'll show up unannounced." He chuckled, finally gaining a genuine smile from her too.

"My very own Batman." She blinked softly, her smile fading away as she locked eyes with him. "Thank you, Charlie."

* * *

"So, where is she then?" Audrey probed whilst rearranging the vase of flowers by Grace's bedside, obviously referring to Connie with her question. Emma was sat quietly in the chair behind her, not quite knowing how to approach Sam.

"Avoiding you most likely." He snipped back, a look of fury in his face as he warned her from the other side of the bed. He could already sense she was geared up and ready to be confrontational. "If you're going to cause problems you can leave now-"

"Sam!" Emma sat forward, slightly sickened at the way he was speaking to his Mother but she was completely unaware of the conversation he'd shared with her yesterday in regards to Connie.

"It's fine, Emma." Audrey reassured without taking her eyes off of her son. "He's obviously just tired, I did warn him that sleeping in a hospital chair all night wouldn't be good for him."

"I slept perfectly fine, thank you." He growled irately. A part of him wanted Connie to come in shouting the odds as she normally would, she was the perfect match for his Mother but at the same time he wanted no drama or ill feeling around Grace as she fought this battle, not to mention screaming and yelling probably wouldn't be good for Connie or the baby.

"When are you coming home, Sam?" Emma's small, fragile voice floated through the air and dissipated the tension quickly. "It doesn't feel right without you there."

"I told you, I just - I need to be here with Gracie. Things are only going to get worse before they start getting better, they've told us she can't come home any time soon so for the time being, Connie and I will just continue to take it in turns staying the night with her." He kept his voice as calm as possible, growing sick of having to repeat himself. He was about to open his mouth again when the door opened behind him, it was Connie. Everybody's head turned in her direction but she was greeted with silence, aside from a small smile from Sam that screamed _help me_ she scanned the room catching Audrey's disapproving glare and Emma's miserable expression. Happy moods all around.

"I didn't think you were coming in until this afternoon?" Audrey grilled, causing Sam to finally lose his temper.

"Didn't I just tell you to leave it?!" His jaw was clenched tightly and his body rigid with anger as he continued to stand up. He was halfway out of the chair to let Connie sit down when he flew into fight mode.

"Sam, it's fine." Connie whispered tiredly, placing her hand on his forearm. "Just leave it." Her eyes flickered across the side of his face, watching him slowly calm before she let go of him almost instantly, she'd completely forgotten where they were and the company they were in. Avoiding the angry gazes she took the seat gratefully as Sam let a sharp breath out before turning his back to everyone. She'd never seen him quite this riled and visibly bothered before.

"I uh, need to go get some air." Her American accent almost sang through the air in a depressive tune. Connie merely glanced at her once before moving her concentration back to Grace, the guilt was eating at her conscience. She had intended to stay away until they left but figured she couldn't avoid them forever.

"Ah, full house today!" Dr Maison gave them all a fright as he entered the room without warning, causing Emma to halt her escape and sit down again. Hopefully he was here with good news.

"Yes, everybody's here this morning." Sam hissed, disguising his anger well but Connie could feel it radiating from him.

"You're looking a lot more rested, glad to see I was right to send you both home last night, I assume sleeping in proper beds did the you both the world of good?" He smiled warmly as Connie's eyes closed regretfully and Sam remained frozen by her side.

"Sam?" Emma's eyes filled slightly up as she spoke his name. "You told me you were staying here with Grace last night?" The room suddenly became extremely uncomfortable.

"Oh, sorry, my mistake, Sam slept in the on-call room down the hall. Connie went home for the night." Dr Maison quickly corrected, realising what he'd just done. The look Sam gave him was one filled with pure relief. "I, uh came to chat with you actually but it isn't urgent. I'll come back a bit later."

"When will she wake up?" Audrey asked as quickly as she could before he left the room.

"Well, she's very sick, Mrs..." He squinted his eyes, waiting for her to fill in the blank.

"Sorry, there was no introduction." Side-eyeing Sam, she moved around the bed to shake his hand. "I'm Audrey Strachan, Grace's grandmother."

"Ah, Audrey." He indulged her handshake, noting Connie's dull expression partnered with Sam's growing frustration. "Nice to meet you and to answer your question, she's not in an induced sleep or anything of that nature, she's merely exhausted. Chemotherapy can really hit you hard, in Grace's case it's just knocked her a little too hard. But not to worry, she's responding well and things should continue to improve during the next few months until Mrs Beauchamp gives birth and we can proceed with the transplant."

"Thank you, Doctor. I'm a tad out of the loop, you see." She spoke sadly, playing the victim as well as she could. Sam could do nothing but face away, allowing his gaze to lay upon his beautiful daughter sleeping before him. He had to let any anger he felt simmer because becoming hostile and angry wasn't going to solve anything. His attention was pulled away quickly at the sound of Connie standing up rapidly.

"Excuse me." Shuffling between the pair blocking the doorway she made a hasty exit, her face as pale as a sheet of paper. Sam's head followed her movements as she headed swiftly down the corridor, a look of utter worry on his face.

"Morning sickness already?" Audrey poked, her eyes narrowing in the Doctor's direction as he shared a look with Sam. "She's only around three or four weeks, is that normal?"

"It's different for every woman, Mrs Strachan." He saved the day again, backing up the lies of Sam and Connie once more. "Even as early as two weeks as I understand it." He made one final look around the room, becoming uncomfortable in the tense atmosphere. "Perhaps I'll just leave you all to it, I'll pop back in later to have a chat with you both." He made sure to aim his final sentence at Sam only. As he turned to leave, Sam was already on his feet ready to go after Connie but the doctor stopped him kindly. "It's fine Mr Strachan, I'll make sure Mrs Beauchamp is okay." He could tell there were underlying issues hanging over the three of them that needed hashing out and normally getting involved in family disputes wasn't something he practiced but he felt he was already involved in this messy affair so what harm could come of it?

"You can't just leave things alone can you?" He hawked in disbelief.

"Well, forgive me for being concerned about my granddaughter! Hasn't it occurred to you that we're all worried sick?! It's been weeks since you last spoke to me about her! Even just a text with an update! And we get nothing. Not a shred of news!"

"We've been a little _preoccupied_ with everything else at the moment, I'm sorry we can't constantly be filling you in on every detail!" His sarcasm had a salty effect on his already emotional Mother. His last sentence was the icing on the poorly made cake. He felt only a tiny amount of regret as she snatched her handbag and coat from the windowsill, not uttering another word as she headed for the door.

"I'll go make sure she's okay." Emma spoke lowly as she got to her feet, wrapping her grey cardigan snugly across her bump. The door was swinging violently with Audrey's exit. "I don't think I wanna be in the same room as you right now." The shake in her voice lilted him into negative wave. What was he turning into?

* * *

"Morning sickness?" Dr Maison asked politely as she exited the Ladies Room, looking a little less sickly than before. He'd waited patiently for her to emerge.

"Unfortunately." She smiled weakly. "Not as bad as it was with Grace but still unpleasant nonetheless."

"And how are things going? With the pregnancy I mean?" His eyes and face were warm and inviting, there was something about him that could make people open up and spill their feelings. He'd had his concerns about her from the start, even now she seemed very disconnected from her unborn child. He'd made a mental note to keep a close eye on her as the pregnancy progressed.

"Fine, I keep having to remind myself actually. It doesn't seem real." She placed her hand gingerly on her abdomen but pulled it away quickly upon feeling the ever so slight bump beneath her clothes. "I should probably get back in there, I think world war three is upon us."

"It was quite the atmosphere, I must admit." He frowned. "Try not to surround yourself with negativity, keep things light, okay? I'll be in a bit later to speak to you both." He patted her arm sweetly and headed off down the corridor as she too made a move back to Grace's private suite.

* * *

"Doesn't any of this anger you?" Audrey queried, a tremor covering her words as they exited the hospital. Emma already knew they weren't going back inside to Grace but was secretly relieved, the tension in there was unbearable.

"How can I be angry?" She asked sweetly as they walked and talked, the cold air hitting them harshly. The wind had picked up dramatically, the clouds darker than ever. "It's Grace's life, they're both worried sick, _I'm_ worried sick. It feels like there's no right time for me to start whining about our crumbling relationship. I mean, let's face it, he's got far more pressing things on his mind."

"So it is affecting you? As a couple?" Audrey wiped at her nose with a tissue, approaching the car having finally controlled her emotions. Leaving the way she did wasn't exactly planned and she was almost instantly regretting it but she felt some space was needed for them both to cool down before trying to talk in a more civilised fashion, away from Grace's bedside. "You're his fiancee, you're carrying his son. Yes, he has a lot on his plate but that's something he needs to figure out." Emma went to interrupt but Audrey continued on with her rant. "It's not that hard, he visits Grace, he comes home. How hard is that?" She scoffed. "No, it's _her_ that's making things difficult. She always has, even when she was pregnant with Grace. Made his life a living hell she did."

"Truth be told, Audrey, things haven't been right between Sam and I for some time now. I think all of this has just pushed us farther apart. He's worrying about Grace and ultimately Connie too, she's carrying Grace's only hope of survival, you know? How do we compete with that?" She swallowed sadly rubbing her bump, speaking for herself and her unborn child as she and Audrey looked at each other across the roof of the car, prepared to get in and escape the approaching rain storm.

"Well that's just my argument, you _shouldn't_ have to compete." Emma's attention was quickly pulled from Audrey's angry words and in the direction of Connie's car only two spaces away.

"Could you just give me a minute? I'll be right back." She closed her car door again and headed for Connie's car, her eyes squinting as she looked in through the passenger seat window. Her heart stopped dramatically. Deep down she knew, hence why she was drawn to look into her car for some sort of confirmation, but her brain talked her into squashing the idea. Maybe if she pretended it wasn't real then it would just all go away? But the physical and very real sight of Sam's duffel bag in the footwell only affirmed her sickening suspicions.

He was with her last night.

* * *

"Well, that was a nice warm family gathering, I can only imagine how lovely your Christmases are." Connie spoke sourly as she re-entered the room, whole heartedly relieved to see that the witch and fiancee had left. "I take it they're not coming back then?"

"No, at least I hope not." He rubbed his eyes tiredly and looked over at her as she sat down where Emma had previously been sat. Although it was only nearing 1pm it was almost dark outside. "I'm sorry, I should have let you banish her from visiting like you were going to. Things were still heated from how I left yesterday." He looked down embarrassedly. "I'll sort things out tonight, I don't want Gracie caught up in a blood feud, it's the last thing she needs."

"And Emma?" Her brows raised, awaiting a response. She was sick of feeling guilty, feeling like the other woman and waiting for him to address the situation with her.

"I need to go home and sit her down, there was no good moment to do it today. Not here, not like this." He leant forward, quite obviously harassed by the whole situation. "I feel like -" He cut himself off, fighting some sort of emotional battle as he rubbed angrily at his face and head with both hands. Managing to regain control he began speaking again, more shakily this time. "I just feel like there's only a small amount of me and I'm being spread too far, like I'm going to slowly fade away and disappear. I can't seem to balance my priorities, or even verbally state what my priorities are." He blinked rapidly as Connie's brow twitched with concern at this emotional, panicked outburst. "You know, there's Emma and the baby and when I'm with her all I can think about is you and this baby whilst the whole time Grace is on my mind and I just can't divide myself up-" His words had gotten faster and faster, more rushed and intense in volume as he stood up and began pacing. Before it got anymore out of hand she was up and out of her seat, quickly putting her palms on his forearms and gently pushing them down to his sides to stop him from waving them so emphatically.

"Alright, alright." She whispered softly, shushing him after speaking. Keeping her right hand on his right forearm by his side, she let her left palm find it's way to his torso, smoothing it up and down his chest comfortingly. His breathing was all over the place. He remained still for a moment or so, allowing her actions to ease him down from this ledge he'd somehow got himself all worked up on to. Finally letting out one deep and heavy breath after about twenty seconds of being soothed, he looked down at her before resting his left hand on her hip and his right on her upper back just below her neck as he pulled her into a hug gently. She reciprocated the action, her left palm still stroking at his chest as the other arm wrapped around his lower back too. Nestling into his embrace, she blinked slowly before whispering into his shirt again. Her ear was pressed up against his chest, every beat of his heart hammering into her brain. It was beating fast and hard, the rise and fall of his rib cage going twice as fast as hers. "You're in a mess, hm?"

"A big mess." He sighed back in response, the vibrations of his vocal chords buzzing through her head as it remained pressed up against him.

They stayed like that for a short while, Sam's mind positively racing with how to handle this delicate situation without causing any heartbreak and Connie silently battling her own inner demons as she stood enveloped in his arms. Dr Maison returned as he said he would, interrupting their moment and understandably feeling quite caught in the middle. He'd basically come to talk to them about Grace's progress in terms of her treatment, that her hair would start to fall out soon and this is something they might want to talk to her about when she wakes.

The discussed the matter at length, telling her together when she finally woke up that afternoon. To their surprise, she handled the news extremely well, even vowing to donate her locks if they shaved her hair before allowing it to fall out. With Sam having battled cancer himself, he was obviously more relatable to her right now and Connie could merely smile gratefully at how he talked her through things, relieved she had the support of her Father like this. Something she never had as a young girl.

"You're going to stay for a bit longer?" Sam whispered as he got to his feet, it was getting close to 7pm and Grace had drifted off agin after her tea, leaving the room silent once more. The blinds drawn and both bedside lamps glowing softly.

"Yeah." She nodded, glancing at her watch sleepily. "I'll spend the night-"

"No, no, you go home, I can stay overnight once I get back." Shrugging into his coat, he prepared himself for the insane weather waiting for him outside. He was on his way home to sit down and speak with Emma, and honestly he was dreading it. Connie partly wanted to argue and stay the night with Grace, but the exhausted part of her was almost relieved she was free to go home and climb into bed after a nice hot bath.

"You're sure?" Her eyes followed his frame as he moved around to the side of the bed she was sat on, leaning down to kiss her.

"Positive." He finally answered after pulling away from the short but sweet peck. "I'll text you when I'm on my way back." Jangling his keys in his pocket he made a moved for the door. He seemed jittery and on edge.

"Good luck." Offering him an encouraging smile, she watched him disappear out of sight, left alone with her thoughts.

* * *

"I thought you said you weren't coming back?" She asked icily as he entered the living room, dropping his duffel on the floor gently.

"We need to talk, Emma." There was a dryness to his voice, and an audible rasp indicating his fatigue. The dark circles under his lower lids made his eyes seem even darker in colour. She was sat on the couch, the light of the TV illuminating her features as she studied him in the doorway.

"I know where this is going." She whispered delicately as she looked away from him, the tears already starting to fall. Sam blinked regretfully, slowly moving into the room and taking a seat in the armchair.

"Emma-"

"Don't even start with the _I'm sorry_ bullshit either, I don't wanna hear it." Spitting ferociously through her tears, she continued to avoid his gaze. "How long has it being going on?"

"How long has wh-"

" _You_ and _Connie,_ Sam! You think I'm really that stupid?" She laughed between sobs, a slight crazed expression marking her face. "How long?" She repeated once more, desperate for an answer.

"I swear, last night was the only time." He lied, a nauseous feeling punching him right in the gut. But if this was the end, like he was planning for it to be, he didn't want to hit her with the whole truth. It'd break her.

"You swear?" Finally looking at him, he was faced with the consequences of his decisions. This heartbroken woman before him was the result of his unfaithful actions.

"On my life."

"On Grace's life?"

"Emma." He warned, not even wanting to tempt fate in such a way. "Don't do that."

"You can't do it, can you?" She folded her lips together, her brows wrinkling inwards as the tears continued to roll down her cheeks. "You're full of shit." Hissing angrily, she got to her feet and rummaged indignantly through her bag, pulling out a sparkling silver earring. "I found this on the backseat of your car." Holding it up for him to see, she monitored his face closely. "It's Connie's, she was wearing these at our _engagement_ party." His eyes closed slowly, the fight was up. It was time to come clean.

"I'm sorry-"

"I said I don't wanna hear it!" Throwing the earring at him with some force, she stopped suddenly. Her face becoming deadpan as she spoke coldly. "I'll be gone by the end of the week, I'm going back to the states and I don't want you to contact me ever again." Walking past him, she headed for the stairs. Her bags were already packed and waiting in the bedroom. As soon as she'd seen their behaviour today, along with the duffel bag in Connie's car she knew she wasn't going to stay and make do. This, together with Connie's earring told her that this torrid little affair had been going on for some time behind her back.

"Emma, wait!" He called after her up the stairs, the panic starting to kick in. "You can't just leave the country! What about the baby? Our baby?!" As he followed her up the stairs, he was met with a cold laugh.

" _Our baby_?" She repeated with a cruel smile, the tears still glistening on her face as she turned to face him, heading his way with a purpose. "No, Sam." She shook her head, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear roughly. "This baby is going to have _nothing_ to do with you." She growled. "He won't even know you exist."

"Emma, please-" His begging sentence was sliced short as she stepped even closer to him, her voice dangerously hushed.

"You made your bed, Sam. Now go lie in it."


	16. Chapter 16

***Thank you to those who take the time to review or message me on twitter I really appreciate it! Sorry about the wait, my sister's laptop is broken so we're currently having to share mine, which I am most unimpressed about! Enjoy!***

 _"Emma, wait!" He called after her up the stairs, the panic starting to kick in. "You can't just leave the country! What about the baby? Our baby?!" As he followed her up the stairs, he was met with a cold laugh._

 _"Our baby?" She repeated with a cruel smile, the tears still glistening on her face as she turned to face him, heading his way with a purpose. "No, Sam." She shook her head, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear roughly. "This baby is going to have nothing to do with you." She growled. "He won't even know you exist."_

 _"Emma, please-" His begging sentence was sliced short as she stepped even closer to him, her voice dangerously hushed._

 _"You made your bed, Sam. Now go lie in it."_

"I won't let you do this!" Moving around her he grabbed her packed bags, attempting to open them up and empty them.

"My mind is already made up! _You_ are the only reason this is happening! This isn't something I just decided on a whim, Sam! _You_ cheated on _me!_ The only person to blame for _any_ of this is yourself!" Her tears were running more freely now, her words still angry but more hurt than anything else. His movements ceased, dropping her bags sadly, the realisation hitting him hard. He'd fucked up. He knew their relationship was well and truly over, this he was sorry for but not regretful or sad about since his heart belonged to Connie. But his son would suffer the consequences of his actions and this he would never forgive himself for. She had no idea how relentless he was though, he won over _Connie Beauchamp._ If he could wear her down and be granted access to Grace then he was sure Emma would be easier to work with. "Tell me." She sniffed and interrupted the silence. "The night I rushed Grace to hospital and I called you, you said you were working." Her eyes narrowed angrily. "You weren't answering your phone, so I called Connie out of pure human decency, I figured she should know her daughter was on her way to hospital..." She trailed off, her mind spinning as she tried to recall the events of that morbid evening. "But then _you_ answered Connie's phone, and you showed up together." Her eyes widened, turning to face his guilty expression. He couldn't even look at her, his brows sloped downwards at the outer edge, his lids heavy with regret. "You son of a bitch." Whispering angrily, her American accent emphasised her disgust. "You were with her then, weren't you?" He merely clenched his jaw and that was the only answer she needed. "Get out."

"Em-"

"Get out!" She screamed at an alarming volume, shocking even herself before she started to get physical upon noting his lack of obedience. She didn't care that this was his house, it was hers for the rest of the week whether he liked it or not. Sam still had an ounce of decency in him, deciding to leave despite the property being his. He didn't want Emma to get too worked up and bring harm to herself or their unborn son. She needed time to cool down and he needed time to think through his next movements carefully.

* * *

Back over at the hospital, Grace was still sleeping peacefully whilst Connie fought her own fatigue in the uncomfortable chair by her bedside.

"She looks picturesque laying there like that?" His voice startled her, she was moments away from sleep when he entered. As she turned to stare up at him she couldn't muster a word, the silence a warm one before she stood up quickly and moved over to hug him.

"Elliot." She whispered lightly, her eyes closing as her chin rested upon his shoulder, feeling secure in his warm hug. She couldn't describe how much she missed him, even if someone had asked there were no words to properly explain how much he meant to her. She felt soppy and embarrassed even thinking these thoughts but it was too late, she was already teary-eyed and his hands rubbing at her back soothingly were only making it worse.

"I heard through the grapevine what had happened, I was trying to find the right time to come and see you." His words were soft spoken as always, she could feel him smiling as they pulled apart. His mouth moving to more of a frown once he realised how emotional she'd become. "Hey, what's the matter?"

"Nothing." She whispered shakily, her lip trembling as her eyes searched the ceiling in an attempt to stem any more tears from falling. "I, uh, I just wasn't expecting to see you, that's all." She managed the last of her sentence without a tear escaping, finally locking eyes with him. He'd even brought Grace a present, as her eyes landed on the plush bear and chocolates in his grip he suddenly began speaking again.

"Ah, yes, she's probably a little old for this but I didn't know what else to get her." He shrugged, almost a little embarrassed but she was quick to extinguish his self-doubt.

"No, no she'll love it." She sniffled. "Thank you." Taking the gifts gratefully she moved over to Grace's bedside and sat them there ready for when she'd wake tomorrow. Moving her coat and bag from the second chair she motioned for him to sit down, smiling when he did so before retaking her own seat on the other side of the bed.

"She's a fighter then? Just like her Mother."

"I should hope so." She smiled tiredly. "They said she can come home soon, next week maybe."

"Connie, that's great news." He beamed sweetly, noting his friend's tired complexion. "Hospitals are a great comfort but they're draining, on the patient and the relatives. I'm sure things will look up once she's at home with you."

"Here's hoping." She smiled back at him and sat back in her chair a little more for comfort. The quietness between them wasn't at all uncomfortable, in fact it was the opposite. It felt nice to sit silently with someone sometimes and this was one of these times.

"And they've found a donor? Or is she on the waiting list?" He looked over his glasses resting at the end of his nose as they always did. The nice silence quickly turning prickly as she looked down, avoiding his gaze.

"Actually, I'm-" She paused, trying to find the right words but there were no right words because even now it felt wrong, she moved her focus to Grace, wordlessly trying to convince herself it was okay, it was all for Grace. "I'm carrying a saviour sibling." The sentence was quiet and calmly spoken despite her inner turmoil. Her eyes nervously moved over to Elliots's face, seeking confirmation that she was doing the right thing but his expression was unreadable, which frightened her slightly.

"I should have guessed." He smiled widely, causing her heart to flood with relief. "You've got a glow about you, even with all that's going on." He leant back in his chair too, still smiling. "Congratulations!" He could read her like a book and knew _exactly_ what she was thinking and feeling right now. "For what it's worth I'd have done the same thing, given I was able to carry a child but you know what I'm getting at."

"Thank you." She exhaled shakily, it wasn't like her to feel as though she need approval from anyone for anything but hearing Elliot speak those words, she already felt one hundred times better about all of this.

"So, Mr Strachan is obviously around?" He raised his brow, a smile appearing on his face noticing her small eye-roll. "I hope you two are getting along, for Grace's sake." She couldn't help but smile at his cluelessness.

"We're trying our best." She half-lied, not wanting this particular line of questioning to go any further. "He should be back soon anyway, he's staying here tonight so I can get some sleep."

"Oh, how generous of him. I hope you haven't been overdoing things?"

"Actually, quite the opposite." She smiled at his surprised face. "Ethan and Elle are manning the ED between themselves and I trust them one hundred percent." Her smile diminished looking back at her sick daughter. "I just need to be here for her."

"She has two loving and devoted parents, and I'm sure she feels the love and support." There was a sloght pause. "How has she taken the baby news?"

"We haven't told her." She looked his way again, licking her lips before glancing down. "I've only just passed the twelve week mark, Sam wants to tell her the truth but I'm a little reluctant."

"You don't want her to feel guilty." He stated confidently, knowing her as well as he did he could feel her own guilt radiating from her very being.

"It's an awful feeling, Elliot."

"You've nothing to feel guilty about." His voice was soft and caring as he leant forward to gain her attention, he wanted her to listen to his every word. "What you're doing is extremely brave, whether you feel it or not. Grace is depending on you and this baby. You and Sam will love and cherish this second child as much as you do Grace, despite your differences. Don't look at this situation as a medical fix, see it as a double blessing. Grace has a donor and you'll have another child to love and care for." He smiled sweetly, watching her face soften as she took every one of his words on board. "He or she is going to be loved dearly."

"She." Whispering gently she locked eyes with him, her lips curling into a small smile. "It's another girl."

"Wonderful, two beautiful girls." He grinned, genuinely happy for his old friend but his heart ached for her simultaneously. She looked tired, worried and plagued with a thousand thoughts. "She'll get through this, Connie. She won't give up." His eyes locked on to hers, his stare almost promising her that everything would be okay. Their sweet exchange was interrupted as Sam entered the room, his own features exhausted with worry as it relaxed upon seeing the old face in the room.

"Mr Hope." He began with a smile, honestly happy to see his friendly face in such dark times.

"Please, no need for formalities any more! Just call me Elliot." Standing to greet him he had his hand out at the ready for a shake but was surprised when Sam pulled him into a hug. He reciprocated the action nonetheless. "I just thought I'd pop in and see how you were all doing." Stepping out of the friendly greeting he looked up at Sam and back down to Connie who was still sat in her chair. "And I hear congratulations are in order." Smiling once more, he finally managed the initial handshake he was going for as Sam indulged him.

"Thank you, it's all been a bit of a rollercoaster, hasn't it?" He glanced towards Connie who widened her eyes and nodded in response. "But she's on the right track."

"She'll come out on the other side smiling, I know she will." He patted Sam's arm, offering him the same encouraging words he'd given Connie. "I'll leave you both to it and pop back in tomorrow at a more decent time." Turning his gaze back to Connie, he put his hand on hers on the arm of the chair. "I'll see you tomorrow." He smiled at her grateful nod before giving Sam another arm pat and leaving the room quietly. The silence lay over them gently, like a blanket of snow falling in the early hours of the morning before anyone awoke.

"How did it go?" Her voice was full of concern, studying his defeated body language and blank expression. He looked empty.

"It went about as badly as I expected it to." He smiled falsely whilst exhaling and slumping into the chair Elliot had previously been sat in. Connie's eyes following him worriedly. "She's going back to the states at the end of the week. I'll never see her again and I'll never see my son." He stared down at his hands not knowing what to say next. Each sentence he spoke was drawn out and sad.

"You and I both know you won't just let this go." She blinked slowly, awaiting a response but he remained quiet. "Look how hard I tried to shake you and you're _still_ here." Her comment made him smile, even if only for a brief moment. Part of her wanted to wave Emma off happily, she'd be out of the picture and make things miles easier for herself but that was an unfair wish and she knew it. This was Sam's child they were talking about and although she was feeling territorial and would hate nothing more than to share him, she understood Sam had battle for his son. "You should fight for him." Her short yet sure sentence shocked him. "The way you fought for Grace. She might not realise it now but she'd be making a huge mistake." Her last words uttered grabbed his attention, forcing him to connect his gaze with hers.

"Is that how you felt?" His heart softened and he watched her glance down for a moment, mustering the right words to speak. Admitting she was wrong was a difficult thing for Connie and collecting the sentences in her head was proving to be a hard task, but she finally answered lowly.

"I was so caught up in not wanting you to be around, I thought it would be better for Grace. All my Father ever did was let me down. I wanted to spare her the heartache." There was a bitterness in her voice as she recalled her own cold childhood. She avoided his eyes as they sought hers, she wasn't one to open up like this, particularly about her past but she felt Sam needed to hear this. She didn't want to be the reason he never fought for his son. "But when I see you with her now and how much you mean to her, I can't believe I almost robbed her of that." Sam's face and body relaxed after hearing the words she'd just spoken and as per usual, Connie was right. He couldn't let another child out of his grip the same way he'd lost Kieron and almost lost Grace if it weren't for his persistence.

She only stayed a few moments more before gathering her things, she was well and truly exhausted. Her lids felt like heavy weights and fighting to keep her eyes open was getting more and more difficult despite it only being quarter to ten in the evening.

"You'll be back in the morning?"

"Yeah." She whispered her reply, getting herself rugged up for the cold weather outside. Her invisible bump was further hidden beneath her grey coat as she slipped it on as quietly as she could.

The air outside had a nasty bite to it, partnered with the rain and wind she felt as though she'd walked into the abyss. Although her talk with Elliot was extremely short in length, it had made the biggest difference to her peace of mind. It was almost as if she needed someone who was on the outside looking in to tell her that she was doing the right thing. Unbeknownst to Elliot, she was already pregnant before Grace fell ill, which forced her to think more in depth about her decision. She wouldn't have terminated the baby in the first place so why should she be feeling guilty? It's like Elliot said, this baby was a double blessing.

* * *

The next couple of weeks were fraught with all kinds of tension. Emma was still very much in the UK and proving to be a giant pain for Sam, neither could blame her under the circumstances but she was dragging her heels and attempting to make life as difficult for Sam as possible. And it was working. Since Grace's diagnosis, Connie had hit a low point very early on but now felt she was on the rise, whereas Sam had flown into it with a positive mindset and very little doubt eating away at his brain. However, with everything that was happening with Emma he was now experiencing a lull. Having not really witnessed him in this sort of state, Connie was at a loss in terms of what to do.

The _only_ positive thing to have happened in the last three weeks was Grace's arrival back home. Although she was extremely relieved to be out of the hospital she was confused about the situation. Her Father was living out of bin liners of clothes under her Mother's roof, Emma was nowhere to be seen and she hadn't seen her gran once. She felt like she'd come back to a completely different universe. It had only been two weeks since she returned to the comfort of her own room and she'd already began a collection of woolly beanies and hats. Losing her hair was harder than she'd expected but with encouraging words from her parents, she soon accepted this new look and it was like her Mother said, _hair grows_ _and it'll be back in no time_.

"You're sure you want to do it tonight?" He asked again, only inviting her to raise her voice irritably.

"I can hardly leave it any longer, can I?" She hissed, remembering Grace was in the living room as they stood in the kitchen. They'd held off telling her about the baby and with her being fifteen weeks gone now, it was starting to become apparent that she was carrying, she was concealing it incredibly well with her blouses and coats but that could only last so long. At her hushed and angry sentence Sam's eyes moved down to her small midsection as she leant with her back against the kitchen sink, he was sat at the table, his posture almost as tired as his face. Moving her own eyes back to him she couldn't help but fall into a well of regret, he looked ill. His sharp mind plagued with God only knows how many thoughts. She licked her lips with a steady sigh. "Let's just get it over with, then it's one less thing to think about." Softening her voice to almost a whisper, he offered her the smallest smile in a grateful manner. Relationships were weird for Connie and whenever she showed any kind of compassion or consideration he felt as though he had to acknowledge it for her to recognise that those small things were greatly appreciated. Like he was positively reinforcing her loving behaviour. She let her eyes roll over his being as his head once again hung low, his mind completely elsewhere but trying it's hardest to remain present. She felt bad for him, truly. Moving away from leaning against the side, she made her way around the table, stopping when she was behind his slumped body in the wooden chair. He had one arm and hand resting on the table top, the other one resting limply on his thigh. Slowly and gently she placed her right palm on his right shoulder, her thumb laying across the base of his neck as she stroked at him softly before allowing it to venture further down. As she reached the middle of his chest she sat her left hand on his left shoulder and began the same comforting rubs before feeling his left palm move from resting on his thigh, coming up to meet her right hand in the centre of his ribcage. He squeezed at it gratefully, the whole of his own hand engulfing hers. Not a single sound was audibly exchanged between them but both of their actions spoke a thousand words. With her front pressed up against the back of his chair, his head lifted to lean back on her abdomen and they stayed this way for a while as they both thought their own separate thoughts.

Friday night was takeaway night and Grace always got to choose, that was the rule and tonight was no different. Much to Connie's disgust, she'd chosen pizza. Cheese wasn't on her list of favourite foods at the moment, in fact even just the smell and sight of it made her stomach churn. Luckily, Sam had offered to go and collect it since there was over an hour wait on delivery and Connie couldn't face the smell of the restaurant. He'd been gone ages and needless to say Grace was getting impatient.

"Finally!" She beamed upon seeing headlights hit the driveway as he parked up. Her face positively lit up as she shrugged out of her couch blanket and shuffled her feet into her slippers. Connie couldn't help but smile but it was a short-lived feeling as the front door opened and they heard a familiar voice sing through the walls.

"Sam?" It was the dragon. "Grace? Hello?" She called out again, closing the front door and heading further into the hallway as Grace more or less tore the living room door open and bolted out to greet her.

"Gran!" The pair shared a loving hug before Connie appeared in the door frame, a little shocked at the audacity of this woman to help herself into the house.

"Yes, do come in, Audrey." She spoke sarcastically, smiling falsely if only for Grace's benefit.

"Ah, Connie." The genuine smile vanished from her face as she stood up straight, releasing Grace from her embrace. "I'm here to see my son." She pursed her lips as Connie crossed her arms and laughed humourlessly.

"He's not here-"

"Yeah but he's coming back." Grace turned to look at her Mum after interrupting, her small pale face full of confusion. "I haven't seen Gran in ages, please can she stay?" Connie's heart melted at the sadness in her daughter's voice before Audrey broke the silence.

"I'll wait here for him, if you don't mind." Her voice was stony and she definitely wasn't asking. The two women were locking horns greatly, their eyes telling a thousand different emotions between them.

"Come sit in here, we're getting a pizza." Grace grabbed her Grandmother's hand softly, leading her past Connie and through the doorway back to the living room before sitting down with her sweetly. She was talking a mile a minute about almost anything and everything that happened in the last couple of weeks but Connie was frozen where she stood, her back still facing them as she stared ahead at the wall opposite her, deep in thought. Sam really had been ages. Suddenly coming to, she pulled her phone from her pocket and proceeded to call him, but there was no answer. She'd just have to sit tight for as long as she could. Taking the deepest most controlled breath she could, she turned around and headed back into the living room, tidying a little as she made her way back to the armchair she'd previously been sat in.

"Well, you look a thousand times better without hair than your Father did." She smiled, purely relieved to see her Granddaughter so cheery despite what was going on. Helping her put her woolly hat back on she rubbed her cheek softly. "You're so brave."

"It's just hair, Gran." Grace laughed, not fully aware of what her body was really going through. Obviously she had a basic understanding but as medics, both Sam and Connie knew _exactly_ what was happening which made the whole situation a lot more scary.

"And what do you think about your Mum's big news, hm?"

"What big news?" Grace's head tilted with intrigue, her gaze switching between her Grandparent and her Mother as Connie quickly zoned back into reality, her heart starting to beat louder and faster with each passing second.

"Audrey." She growled expertly, her brow furrowed and framing her angry eyes furiously.

"Ah, you still haven't told her?"

"Stop." Connie merely breathed through a rigid jaw, she was doing well to hold on to the anger that was brewing within her.

"Told me what?" Becoming agitated at their coded conversation, Grace interrupted and shifted her gaze quickly between her Grandma and her Mum. They were staring at one another, neither one of them blinking or moving.

"Your daughter is asking you a question, Connie." She spoke coldly, a sly look rippling over her face. "She has a right to know." The mocking tone of her voice made Connie's blood boil. This was _definitely_ not how'd she planned for this to come out. Audrey was shit-stirring to cause hassle for herself and Sam, she knew that but to toy around with Grace the way she was, Connie would _not_ tolerate.

"And _I_ will tell her when I feel the time is right!" She spat furiously, initially she'd been keeping her cool for Grace's sake but Audrey was about to meet _Connie Beauchamp_ properly for the first time and she had no idea what she was in for. "Grace, go upstairs please. I need to talk to you Gran, alone." Taking a deep breath she spoke calmly but her tensed jawline and rigid hands told Grace she was beyond angry, in a normal situation she'd stay and argue to know what was going on but she knew not to test the boundaries when Connie was as angry as she was right now. Everyone joked that her own short temper was inherited from her Mother but it was all truth. Without hesitation, Grace collected her blanket and left the room solemnly, as soon as she was out of earshot Audrey felt a pang of fear strike her. That conniving little plan she'd conjured up had failed epically and now she had to face the music, alone. She stood up, ready to make her exit but Connie wouldn't let her off as easily as that.

"I can't believe you haven't told her-"

"How _dare_ you!" Standing up as well, she made the playing field level, her temper spiking. "That is _not_ your call to make!" Her chest was rising and falling heavily, she was struggling to keep her fury controlled.

"She's _my_ Granddaughter and she has the right to know about this! After all, _this_ is part of her treatment isn't it?!" Waving towards Connie's midsection with dismay she caught a momentary look of hurt on Connie's face before being hit with a barking yell her Son was all too familiar with. This particular subject Connie was extremely touchy about, it was something she battled with daily in her own brain without other people drawing attention to the fact that this baby was a form of treatment. She _never_ wanted her child to be referred to as that, hence her ill-tempered reaction to Audrey's comment.

"Get out!"

"That's not how I meant for it to sound-" Suddenly back-peddling at how awful her previous sentence had sounded she held her hands out, motioning for Connie to calm down but the rage was out and there was no containing it now. Connie could do nothing but laugh cynically, her hair falling from it's previous place tucked neatly behind her ear. She was all out of whack, emotions, breathing, composure. It was all a mess.

"You know what? That is _it_ , you and I don't cross paths again." She breathed harshly, propping her hand on her hip and taking in Audrey's panicked face. This had escalated far more than she'd intended. All she wanted to do was throw a small spanner in the works and leave but it was getting out of hand. "You don't speak to me, don't look at me, in fact don't even _think_ about me!"

"Connie-"

"No!" She yelled over the top of her pleading words, this felt like a tsunami of emotions climbing up and escaping all at once. Of course this situation had been the trigger but everything she was feeling at this current moment in time had been slowly building up over the last month or so and she was finally exploding. Unleashing it all on Audrey since she was the one foolish enough to provoke her into such an attack. "And as for _this_." She rested her palm gently on her bump, a look of pure hatred on her face. "You will have _nothing_ to do with this baby, I'll make sure of it." Having finally brought her yells down to firm words, she stopped speaking and let the sound of her breathing fill the air. Audrey looked shocked, partially at the way she'd just been screamed at but also at the size of the bump beneath Connie's protective palm. Something was amiss here.

"I knew it." She scoffed, leaning back one foot as she shook her head in disbelief. " I _knew_ there was something not right here!"

"I told you to get-"

"To get out, I know! But now I'm _definitely_ not leaving until I've seen my son!" She yelled back with a little less sting than Connie but nonetheless it was still a fair growl. "You were already pregnant before Grace was diagnosed, weren't you?" She snarled, but was met with silence as Connie swiftly let go of her abdomen, allowing her blouse to hang loose and disguise her shape once more. "So how long has it been going on for, hm? How long have you been screwing around behind his fiancee's back?" She looked her up and down with disgust upon yet another loud silence as Connie could do nothing but look down. "You just couldn't leave him alone, could you? You saw he was happy, moving on with his own life, starting a family and you just _couldn't_ let him be?" Her jaw tensed, her eyes flickering over Connie's frame before her. "What, you can't keep a man of your own so you have to take someone else's? Is that what it is?"

"Please." Connie finally retorted with a vexed smirk, her anger beginning to boil again. "I can't make him take what he doesn't want." There was a sinister note in her words, she wasn't yelling anymore which unnerved Audrey a fraction. She was eerily calm, her voice just a little higher than a whisper. "And I don't want to sound crass but he really couldn't get enough, _he_ was coming to _me_." She squinted as her mouth turned into a smile. "You can't blame a failed relationship on _the other woman_ , Audrey. I mean, sure, I tempted him and teased him but ultimately he chooses who he sleeps with."

"You're unreal." She rasped, suddenly stepping back upon completing her sentence when Connie moved towards her slowly with a devilish look on her face.

"That's what your Son says too." Her light whisper partnered with the satisfied smile on her face was enough to send the older woman marching after a few seconds of uninterrupted eye contact followed by a shaky sigh, she shook her head with pure disgust one last time before grabbing her bag and leaving. The triumphant feeling coursing through Connie's being was very temporary, in fact it last only seconds as regret started to wash over her like a waterfall. The smile fading instantly and her eyes closing. "You don't know when to stop, Connie." She whispered to herself but jumped out of her skin when Grace's yells filled the stairway as she came rushing down them, her body had already started moving in her daughter's direction before her brain even had time to comprehend what was happening "Grace!" She yelled loudly, panic kicking in at the thought of something terrible happening to her. "Gracie, what is it? What's the matter?!" Rushing over to the trembling child she was looking over her rapidly searching for what could possibly be the problem.

"Not me! It's Gran!" She moved out of her Mother's grip, the sheer terror on her pale little face as she dashed over to her Grandmother laying lifelessly outside of the front door. It appeared as though she'd only just made it off the front step and collapsed.

"It's okay Gracie, move out of the way, quickly." She shuffled Grace back inside the doorway so her slippers wouldn't get damp on the outside ground as the rain came down so lightly it almost looked like snow under the street lamps. Grace could do nothing but shiver as she watched on sadly, her tears felt as cool as ice on her face as the outside air hit her with each soft breeze. Connie was on her knees by Audrey's side in seconds, sniffing lightly as she got her emotions back in check, the initial panic of thinking Grace was hurt had immediately sent her into a frenzy.

"Is she okay?" Grace sobbed, fidgeting nervously with her dressing gown rope in her hands. Connie didn't answer, she was trying to roll Audrey over as gently as possible. She'd landed flat on her front on the stone pavers, her arms not even out-stretched to break her own fall. She checked her pulse, exhaling angrily upon not feeling anything.

"Alright." She breathed shakily as she rolled her sleeves up, getting in position to start chest compressions. "I need you to go inside and call an ambulance, come and tell me how long they'll be and then go back inside. Okay?" Grace didn't reply as she witnessed her Mother start CPR on her frail looking Grandmother in the cold rain, the mist of Connie's breath hitting the air as she panted hard with each compression. "Can you do that for me, Gracie?"

"Yeah." She squeaked, turning quickly to do as she'd been instructed, leaving her Mum to do what she did best.

"Come on, Audrey. Don't you dare do this now." Whispering firmly she carried on despite the cold biting at her bones and the puddle she was kneeling in soaking through her clothes as the rain continued to come down.


	17. Chapter 17

***Thanks to those of you have read and reviewed, as always it is greatly appreciated! I explained via twitter, I work 5 days a week doing 12 hour days so posting/finding time to type is quite difficult! Apologies for the waiting, I've had a few reviews requesting more "Connie and Sam" so I hope this is more along the lines of what you're after :) XX***

 _"Is she okay?" Grace sobbed, fidgeting nervously with her dressing gown rope in her hands. Connie didn't answer, she was trying to roll Audrey over as gently as possible. She'd landed flat on her front on the stone pavers, her arms not even out-stretched to break her own fall. She checked her pulse, exhaling angrily upon not feeling anything._

 _"Alright." She breathed shakily as she rolled her sleeves up, getting in position to start chest compressions. "I need you to go inside and call an ambulance, come and tell me how long they'll be and then go back inside. Okay?" Grace didn't reply as she witnessed her Mother start CPR on her frail looking Grandmother in the cold rain, the mist of Connie's breath hitting the air as she panted hard with each compression. "Can you do that for me, Gracie?"_

 _"Yeah." She squeaked, turning quickly to do as she'd been instructed, leaving her Mum to do what she did best._

 _"Come on, Audrey. Don't you dare do this now." Whispering firmly she carried on despite the cold biting at her bones and the puddle she was kneeling in soaking through her clothes as the rain continued to come down._

* * *

As he pulled up to the driveway, he felt his chest tighten at the sight of flashing lights. The ambulance was half in the driveway, half out. The back doors open and ready for whoever was being treated. He didn't even close his door or turn his headlights off and before he was even aware of his own movements he was under the rain, bolting towards the house. It was as if his hearing had failed him, everything was silent aside from his own pounding heart and heavy breathing. The blood came back to his head and everything starting working coherently again upon seeing Connie, she was stood talking to Iain absolutely drenched.

"Connie!" He got to her but felt as though he wasn't actually present, his eyes were darting around looking for the stretcher, looking for Grace. "Where is she? What's happened?"

"Sam-"

"Is she okay?" His heavy breaths filling the gaps between his sentences, he only glanced at her when he felt her hand wrap around his forearm gently.

"Grace is fine, she's inside." She paused. "It's you Mum, she's-" She couldn't finish her sentence, he's spotted the gurney and quickly moved towards it. Iain and Connie shared a concerned look before he gave her a half smile and patted her arm reassuringly.

"You did good, kept her going until we got here. There's nothing else you could've done, you know that."

"Thanks, Iain." She returned the smile along with a nod as she shivered, wrapping her arms around herself.

"You must be frozen, I'll grab you a blanket and give you a once over-"

"No, I'm fine honestly." She ended the fuss, just wanting to be inside with Grace but she knew she had to speak to Sam.

"You sure? It'll only take a sec."

"Yes, positive, thanks." Her smile faded when Sam reappeared, he been reassured by Sam Nicholls that his Mother was stable and she held no doubts that she'd be fine, obviously she couldn't promise him but things looked as good as they could considering what had happened.

"What happened?" His eyes were narrowed with concern.

"I don't know, Sam. She came to see you, you weren't here and next thing I know she's collapsed on the way out." Her body shuddered as the wind ripped through her wet clothes. "I didn't even see it happen, began CPR and Grace called for an ambulance." She could feel focus scanning over her worriedly.

"You shouldn't be out here, have you been checked over-"

"I'm _fine._ " She breathed heavily. "It's just a bit of rain."

"I have offered to take a look at her but she seems alright." Iain sniffed, he was crouched down getting his medi-kit packed up beside the quarrelling pair, clueless to their partnership as were most people at work besides Charlie.

"She's pregnant, so saying that _she_ _seems alright_ isn't really going to cut it." He snarled down at the paramedic, watching him as he got to his feet slowly. Iain's gaze landing on an _extremely_ irate Connie. She looked like she was going to murder him.

"Well, I wasn't aware." He clenched his jaw, aiming his frustration at Sam, he didn't take kindly to being talked to like he was lower in class. "But now I am." Relaxing his face, he looked back at Connie but she ceased her deadly stare off with Sam and turned away, walking off briskly shaking her head with disbelief. Sam immediately followed, ignoring the signals for him to back off.

"Connie, you should let them check-"

"I don't need _checking over_ , Sam!" She barked, turning to face him furiously. "I was out here for _ten_ minutes doing CPR, that's it!" The rain continued to hammer down over them, Iain attempted to look as though he was ignoring their spat but he needed to get going and wasn't sure if he was supposed to be examining connie or not.

"Right, well, we're headed back now. You can follow on separately, we'll meet you there." He did all he could, which was inform them he was leaving.

"Thanks, Iain." Connie repeated, her voice more stony than before, basically telling him he was okay to leave. She was stood in the doorway, Sam in front of her as their argument remained on pause before Sam hit play again.

"If you lose this baby-"

"I am well aware-" She began fiercely but Grace's small voice halted their altercation.

"Mum?" They flinched with shock, unbeknownst to them she'd been sat on the stairs behind them the whole time. A regretful wave crashed over the pair, Grace's face was sporting a look of pure hurt and heartbreak. Connie went to speak but before she could even breathe a word, she'd bolted up the stairs leaving them stood in a harrowing silence.

"I'll go and talk to her-"

"No!" She interrupted him ferociously, stopping him from entering the house. She was _so_ incredibly angry. "You've done _enough_."

"Connie-"

"Just go!" There was a ringing in the air following her short but fiery sentence, he knew when not to be told twice and this was one of those times. Instead, he blinked apologetically, taking a deep breath before stepping out of the threshold backwards. This was not how either of them planned for this to come out, he realised he'd fucked up as soon as he told Iain and now Grace had overheard. There was no undoing it now. Needless to say he left, following the ambulance back to the hospital, he'd made a mess of things with Connie so figured he'd let her cool down whilst he saw to his Mother. Another twenty pounds of guilt added to his conscience, the last conversation he'd had with his Mum was a nasty one. He just hoped she'd pull through.

As soon as he'd left she slammed the door in a temper, this whole evening had gone from bad to worse. It was one thing for Sam to tell Iain without her say so but blurting it out in Grace's presence? She was livid. This situation was _so_ delicate and the way she'd planned on handling it was all thrown to the side now, she just hoped she could rectify it. Pushing the damp strands of hair out of her face she took a deep breath before heading upstairs. First thing on her list was to get some dry clothes on, she grabbed the first thing she could find in her chest of drawers, an extremely large, oversized knitted jumper and some black leggings paired with some woolly socks. Yes, Connie Beauchamp in woolly socks, a sight everyone should see at least once in their life. Throwing her damp and dirty clothes in to the wicker washing basket she made her way to Grace's room, slightly anxious about how she'd be greeted. It was completely silent, she was curled up under her pink duvet, the only light in her room was coming from the fairy lights pinned along the white headboard of her bed. Her woolly beanie still on her head keeping her warm.

"Go away."

"Grace-"

"I don't want to talk to you, I'm tired." Her voice was small, Connie could sense a small hint of anger in her words but more than anything she seemed to be fighting the urge to cry. Ignoring her daughter's orders, she continued on into the room, perching herself on the edge of the bed softly.

"We were going to tell you tonight."

"So it's true then?" She finally rolled over to look at her Mother, who looked as equally pained as she felt. "You're having another baby?" Her Mother couldn't find a word, instead she nodded silently allowing her eyes to meet Grace's.

"It's not what you think, I promise." Averting her eyes, she felt like she was losing control of her emotions. She was blaming her hormones, normally she'd be able to battle through most things without shedding a tear but seeing Grace this upset was triggering her sadness.

"You're just having another baby because there's something wrong with me-"

"That is _not_ true." She looked up instantly as Grace allowed her tears to flow following her latest sentence. "You could _never, ever_ be replaced, Grace. Don't you _ever_ think that." Reaching across her snuggled up body, she grabbed her hand gently and squeezed it with reassurance before sniffling. Grace wasn't fighting the contact or protesting, in fact she was squeezing back just as tightly. "Your Dad and I were going to tell you properly together but he uh, he messed that up didn't he?" She smiled a fraction as Grace nodded with a small smirk, her eyes still streaming sadly. "Dr Maison told us when you were diagnosed that the best way to help you with your treatment was with a stem cell transplant, do you remember that?"

"Yeah." She sniffed deeply, wiping her eyes with her free hand. "I'm on a waiting list, then I'll be better again."

"That's right." Connie smiled down at her, quickly wiping at her own tears too. "But he also told us that the quickest way to do it was if you had a brother or sister that could act as a donor for you."

"But I don't have any brothers or sisters." She looked panicked, inviting Connie to hurry into the next sentence.

"No, no you don't, not yet anyway." Placing her hand lightly over the large jumper she watched Grace's eyes follow her movements. "So this baby is going to save your life."

"What about Emma's baby, he'll be my brother, couldn't he help me?"

"No, sweetheart." She blinked slowly. "The sibling has to have the same two parents that you have, this way Dr Maison knew she'd be a perfect match for you."

"She? You mean it's a girl?" Her tears had stemmed, the only remaining look in her big brown eyes now was intrigue.

"Yes, a little sister for you." She smiled back at her sweetly, her heart almost sighing with relief at how this was turning around.

"And she won't be a half-sister, like Emma's baby? Dad said he'll be my half-brother."

"No, she'll definitely be a full sister." She watched on with interest as Grace glanced down at the duvet, her eyebrows knitting together with confusion.

"So, you and Dad-"

"Ah." She laughed tearfully. "Maybe we'll leave that conversation for another time." Smiling once again, she squeezed her hand, her spirits lifted upon seeing her daughter no longer weeping sadly. "But I _promise you,_ your Dad and I would never replace you, alright? That doesn't mean we won't love this baby just as much as we love you, because we will but it just so happens she'll be able to save you too."

"Like two good things at once." Grace stated, her mind at great rest knowing she wasn't being replaced because of her illness at all as she'd initially thought, but rather she was being blessed with a little sister who could also save her life.

"Exactly like that." She sniffled once again before pulling the duvet up over her a little more. "See, you're so clever I knew you'd understand. I was so worried about telling you, but you've been the most understanding person." Her voice was faint, almost as if she was talking more to herself than to Grace but she jumped back to the moment upon feeling her daughter squeeze her hand again.

"I'll look after you and you can look after me." That was it, she felt like the tears were about to flood out with alarming force, thus she nodded with a smile as she wrestled with her emotions. Leaning down she kissed the top of Grace's head lovingly and stood up.

"I'll go and see if I can find something to cook, your Dad drove off with the pizza." She attempted to look apologetic but she was so relieved, even Grace could tell. She left quickly, the tears already running down her cheeks. They were a whole mixture of different tears. Tears of relief, tears of happiness, tears of sadness and tears of anger. She couldn't tell which ones were more prominent, her body was experiencing huge changes, this she had to be conscious of and allow to happen instead of trying to fight it all the time because it was _exhausting_ her.

* * *

Sam had been sat by Audrey's bedside for over an hour now, she was out of the woods and being monitored closely but he still didn't have the answers he sought. What was she doing there and why had she collapsed? She had no major health issues that he was aware of.

"How's she doing?" Charlie appeared in the doorway, two coffees in his hands.

"Um, she's fine." He yawned, standing to take the takeaway cup gratefully. "They're going to monitor her over the next couple of days and my Dad's on his way up to Holby."

"I just spoke to her Doctor, they said it was most likely brought on by stress." He folded his lips sadly. "Perhaps the whole Grace situation is getting to her more than she's letting on." Sam's mind was ticking quickly, he felt horrible even thinking it but he was looking for answers anywhere he could find them, even if they weren't reasonable.

"I need to speak to Connie." He stood up suddenly, his face wrinkled with irritation.

"Sam, I don't think that's-"

"No, I'm sorry but if my Mother went over there to speak to me there's no way she'd leave if she knew I'd be returning soon." He looked at Charlie expectantly as he threw his coat back on. "If an argument was started, by either of them, you _know_ full well that Connie will have finished it."

"Yeah but you can't blame this on her, Sam." He looked completely bewildered, in his own medical experience he knew he was projecting his own guilt on to Connie. Everything was getting on top of him and he was trying to find someone to blame aside from himself. He couldn't blame his Mother as she lay lifelessly before him, he couldn't blame Grace, his sick daughter, he couldn't even blame Emma because she was excluded from this whole mess. That left only Connie to release his anger out on.

"Can't I? She was there, she should know what happened and _how_ it happened." He took another quick sip of his drink before setting the cup down. "Thanks for the coffee." And just like that, he was gone. All guns blazing.

* * *

Needless to say, an explosively hushed argument erupted as soon as he re-entered the house. She read him his warnings the moment he raised his voice, Grace had finished her pasta and was fast asleep upstairs for the night and Connie didn't want her being disturbed after the emotional evening she'd had.

"Alright, yes!" She hissed. "Unsurprisingly, we had an argument, are you happy now?!" Clearing away the plates she turned her back to him whilst awaiting an answer.

" _Happy?_ My Mum is laying in a hospital bed, Connie! She almost _died_!"

"I know! I was there, Sam!" There were cracks of volume emerging from her words as she struggled to keep a lid on her fury. He was really trying to blame this on her.

"What did you say to her?"

"I don't believe this." She laughed humourlessly, as she began filling the sink for the kitchenware too big to fit in the dishwasher. "She went into cardiac arrest, _nothing_ I said or did caused it to happen." Her speech started off calmly but the further she got into details the angrier she became. "If you weren't so preoccupied with the guilt of this giant _mess_ you've got yourself into then maybe you'd be able to think rationally! And what makes you think it was me starting the argument, hm?" She turned around, her hands covered in bubbles and dripping all over the kitchen tiles. "Maybe you should ask her when she wakes up just what exactly she was playing at tonight? Using her own Granddaughter as a pawn in this ridiculous family feud! If anyone's to blame for her collapse, it's _you!"_ Finally blowing her top, she exploded. Her fists were balled up with frustration but retracted as soon as she saw the look on his face. Although she was absolutely seething, she knew that last hit was uncalled for. She blinked slowly, a sigh accompanying her apologetic expression as she whispered. "Sam-" She tried to stop him but he merely held his hand up and left the room, a dark cloud following him. When the hell would this cursed evening end? Letting her head drop back she stood still for a minute or so, contemplating her next move. She returned to the washing the pans, ultimately she decided on allowing them both some time alone before trying to talk to him, this time in a more composed manner. He'd headed further into the house, indicating he wasn't leaving so she left him to cool off for a while, choosing to shower and clean up a bit before even attempting to approach him.

Despite their argument, she had to try and put herself in his shoes. Everything that was already going on and now this with Mother? That'd be enough for anyone to lose their way a bit. However, being blamed for the whole situation hadn't really sat well with her, hence her blatant anger getting the better of her yet again. Regardless of the above, she couldn't help but worry about him. He'd been sat in the conservatory for over an hour now, just staring out of the window. At what, she had no idea since it was pitch black out there. Studying him from behind, she watched over him as she stood in the warmth of the hallway. She could feel the cool air drifting in under the door and braced herself for the cold as she entered silently.

"It's freezing in here." Her soft words made him jolt with fright, but even still he never turned to face her. He was leaning forward on the settee, his elbows resting on either knee as he smoothed at the side of his head tormentedly.

"It's fine." The rasp in his voice was cool and unfeeling, instantly shutting down her peace offering as she halted behind him with the blanket held closely to her. She'd made a conscious note to herself not to start another argument, for both of their sakes as well as Grace's. Instead, she swallowed hard, finished her short journey to him and placed the thick blanket down next to him gently. It was so neatly folded, in true Connie style. His eyes, moved slowly towards her small yet meaningful gesture and he sighed regretfully and turned to grab her hand, she'd already turned to leave but his grip stopped her.

"What happened tonight was _not_ my fault-"

"I know." He cut her off quickly, she was speaking softly with no sign of hostility but he wanted to reassure her as soon as possible that in no way shape or form did he hold her accountable for what happened. "And I'm sorry I've been acting like-"

"A complete arsehole?" Her comment made him smile for the first time in days, his arm still outstretched upwards behind himself as he remained holding onto her hand. Feeling her squeeze it lovingly made him turn serious again. He needed her right now and pushing her away was not the way to go about things.

"Yeah, a complete and utter arsehole." He finally turned to face her. It was odd but extremely nice seeing her dressed down, her hair wasn't as neatly placed as it was when she was at work and the odd few strands of hair were framing her face messily. "You saved her life, thank you." He offered her a grateful smile, blinking with gratitude as she silently accepted it. "How did it go with Gracie?" He had a sheepish look on his face, nervous to hear of how it went.

"She dealt with it incredibly well actually." She smiled, remembering the emotional conversation from only hours ago. "In fact, I think she's even a little excited."

"Oh God." He sighed loudly, his face the perfect picture of repose. "What a relief." His head dropped back slightly as he tugged at her hand softly, worldlessly inviting her to sit with him.

She was reluctant at first because of how cold it was in there but he'd already read her body language, grabbing the blanket out ready with his free hand. She indulged and sat beside him, her right leg folded beneath her as her left one lay across his lap. He was already shaking the blanket out ready to drape over the pair of them and as it settled atop of their bodies, she felt a thousand times warmer already. His left arm was still stretched out along the back of the sofa before he brought it down to wrap around her whilst simultaneously pulling her closer to him. Her right hand resting across her middle beneath the blanket as her left hand settled itself on his torso. He mimicked her movements, allowing his right hand to sit on her upper calf as it lay over his thighs. Silence floated comfortably around them for a while, her hand rubbing at his chest sweetly as her head rested into his shoulder feeling secure with his arm draped around her tightly.

Don't get it twisted, they could enjoy moments like this without things become heated or sexual but tonight wasn't one of those nights. And to be fair, this could technically be the lead up to make-up sex which was arguably the best kind.

His hand had ventured up from her calf to the underside of her knee before dragging his fingers sensually up over her thigh. All the while, she was unconsciously reading his signals and thus began smoothing her palm over his chest more firmly, squeezing him in all the right places. Suddenly becoming aware of where this was leading, she lifted her head up slowly and gained his attention. He initiated the kiss, softly at first before desire took over the both of them and quickly turned the gentle contact into a more urgent connection. His hand moved further and further up her thigh, the grip intensifying as her own hand slipped down to his belt. Before he knew it she was up over the top of him as she straddled his lap without even breaking their passionate lip lock. She was moving with meaning, his hands forced to move upon their new positioning. He rested them on her hips, gripping firmly whilst she rolled against him lightly before he ventured up underneath her knitted jumper, finally his skin was on hers.

The way she was currently making him feel was well and truly needed. In fact, he was the one feeling hesitant initially but the way she handled him won over his mind and body quite quickly. He couldn't tell if it was the familiarity of her taking control, which he hadn't had the joy of experiencing in a while, or whether their whereabouts and the biting cold were exciting him more. Either way, he was completely aroused and at her disposal.

"Not here." He managed to muster two small words between kisses, standing up slowly as she moved backwards off him, all the while their lip contact continued uninterrupted.

They didn't get very far, in fact it was a poor effort on both parts. As they moved as quietly as they could through the house whilst still trying to remain as close to one another as possible, it was inevitable that things would get out of hand. Continuing to kiss as roughly as they were, the hallway table was knocked on their journey which sent a vase flying along with the clatter of falling photo frames. Stunning them both from their passionate embrace, she broke the connection first. Her initial thoughts going straight to Grace who was sound asleep upstairs, they both stood silently with baited breath, their eyes looking up at the ceiling awaiting some sign of their daughter being awakened by their noisy antics. Upon hearing nothing they moved back into the kiss desperately, starting to shed clothes along the way but the desire was too intense, with his hands on her hips and hers pulling eagerly at his shirt he managed to back her into the kitchen before hoisting her up on to the kitchen side in one swift movement. She could feel the cool air of the window pane on the back of her neck despite it being double glazed. They held on to the kiss for as long as possible before he pulled away momentarily, tearing her leggings off expertly, followed by her underwear. He sorted his own belt and zipper out, far too impatient to wait as she took this small break to harness her breathing and gain back some control. The height of the kitchen work top where she sat was the perfect height for this, almost as if it had been designed for this very activity. Unintentionally she let a soft moan escape her lips at the sight of him, they hadn't even bothered turning the lights on but the outside streetlamp partnered with the moonlight gave them plenty of visibility. Retaking his position between her legs, he wrapped his arms around her lower back and pulled her to the edge of the counter top in order to allow him access before moving his left hand back down to her right calf. Her hands immediately going to his hips as they reinitiated their hungry kiss, he could feel the desperation in her actions as she squeezed at his hips pleadingly, her breath quickening into their locked lips and writhing tongues but he was teasing her against his own desperation. The lengthy build up made for a more satisfying performance as opposed to just a quickie in the kitchen. Having said that, he was aching for her and her legs wrapping around him tightly told him she was agonisingly craving him as well.

He stopped teasing, once again breaking the kiss as he entered her slowly. There was a second of complete silence until she finally breathed again with relief at the feeling of him inside of her, followed by a groan of satisfaction from him. Their faces only centimetres apart as they enjoyed each others reactions to their union. Her eyebrows were pulled together tightly in the middle, her mouth slightly agape and matching his before her lids fluttered shut as he started to move. Her legs were still wrapped around him with an unyielding strength, his breath hitched as she moved her left hand behind her back to hold herself upright, her front lapping up against his and allowing him to stand up straight again. The front of his legs and knees were pressed against the surface of the cupboard doors, now that he was upright again, he palmed at her right thigh with his left hand as his right smoothed over her arse beneath her knitted jumper. His movements were slow to begin with, causing her head to drop back as her right hand travelled up to the back of his neck, allowing her room for leverage and space to meet his thrusts with rhythmic hip rolls. Using her left hand behind her, she was pushing herself up a fraction whilst the right held on to him tightly, pulling herself up to meet him. With his head now buried into her neck, he sucked and nipped at her skin like he'd been starved.

"Ah." She hissed, sucking air through her teeth, the pleasure building and fast as their movements started to quicken in pace. Perhaps it was her hormones, but she felt as though she was close to release already. Her eyes closed tightly as she took control of the speed, throwing her hips faster and moaning loudly. He immediately disconnected his mouth from her neck, kissing her deeply in order to silence her. The grip she had on his neck was almighty, her left arm was shaking with her own weight as she was more or less holding herself up in order to meet his thrusts. She was doing all of the work and _as much_ as he enjoyed it, he felt he owed her for the way he'd been behaving today. Her dominance was a huge turn on though, he couldn't deny that. It's one of the things that drew him to her back in the day. The power she so easily wielded, the way she could shut down a board room full of men with such ease. It made him weak for her. He kept up with the kissing, attempting to keep the volume down but she was being particularly vocal tonight, even through their locked lips and heavy breathing.

Regardless of sound, he was going to make it up to her tonight, that was for sure.


End file.
